We are in the moonlight
holding each other tightly
dreamily we sit
awaiting dawn
softly we stare
up into the silky sky
stars above dancing in our eyes
sleepily we watch
darkness yet not
just lightly lit by moon
sweet silence around
quiet breeze slips by
we are together
alone outside
whispers of sweet lullaby from the crickets
gazing in to each others soul
soon the dawn will be upon us
but for now
all we need is each other
and the moonlight
Author notes
Written December 19th, 2004
(3/12/08) I still have to say, that this is my Favorite Poem that I have ever Written.
I am also very greatful for all the lovely comments!♥
A contest entry
- another prewrite contest by BlackRaven9.
300 points, ended June 7, 2006, 69 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gimme Some Love!!! by Breaking Inside.
392 points, ended May 16, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
-
this is very good, i enjoyed it very much thank you for entering.
-
Beautifully written. It actually made me miss the feeling of being really in love. Great job on this.
Kat -
This is really good. There is alot of emotion in it. I guess thats what sucked me into reading more of it.
soon the dawn will be upon us
but for now
all we need is each other
and the moonlight
I love that part, I love the way it paints a picture in my mind. well if you could comment on never more, it would put a big smile of my face
if you don't want to thats fine. Sweet poem.
Kris -
beautiful, plain and simple. I can see why you like this poem, you painted a really beautiful picture here with words, it had it all, it flowed well just rolled through your mind. keep it up all the best xxx QueenT ooo
-
Beautiful
-
Beautiful imagery here. Everything about this poem was wonderful. Great job on this.
Kat -
beautiful poem! i love the meaning, flow, and rhythm of this. i loe the word chose. you've got real potential. keep on writing!
-
i enjoyed this peice. It was emotional and sweet.
-
Excellent
This is very lovely. I do agree with GenXPsalmist though. If you went to a publisher they would love it too but would get you to much as GenXPsalmist suggested. Excellent work! -
The imagery is good, and the whole thing feels very calm and peaceful. I assume (based on your AC and the border) this is about you and your dog? Anyway, the only big suggestion I have for improvement is that you take out a few redundancys. For example, in stanza four, "We are together" is just restating the obvious. Also, you used sweet twice, maybe try a different adjictive in one of those places? "darkness yet not" ought to have a comma after it, for clarity, because it seems to continue to the next line, but doesn't. Also, in stanza four, "in to" should be "into."
Anyway, hope you don't mind me just trying to help. Feel free to tell me why I'm wrong, just don't try to tell me I was rude about it. Keep up the good work.
-GenXPsalmist- -
good
That is really good! It's beautiful and romantic, good job! -
I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
anika
-
ahhh so beatiful and sweet. Your descriptions made me feel apart of them poem and the emotins were so raw and true, so honest. This is so sweet in terms of being in someones arms, alone. lol great job.
~Hippie~ -
How pretty. Great imagery, great mood. All around great everything! I really like this. Nice job.
~ I.t. -
this is great- fabulous imagery well done
Crystal xxx -
i luv it u rock sis great
i couldn't ever write anything this good i wish
u would hav won
~mystic oceania -
romantic and softly sensual imagery! well written keep up the good work!
-
wow. This poem really paints an amazing picture. What a beautiful night!! Keep up the great work.
-
AWWWWW!!!! thats so sweet!! it was awesome imagery, and had alot of feeling!! I wish i could write one like this your rocked
keep it up
-_-AMber-_- -
YOu hav done an amazing job. Its beautifully well writen and i couldnt even findone fault congrats. I woiuld pick out my favourite bit but i just simply cannt choose and i may end up pasting the whole poem!!! which would be a pretty silly thing to do
great writ
vikki
xx
-
this is beautiful I love the imagery it's awsum god write
-
pretty piece
that's so pretty! everyone else keeps coming up with the perfect love poem for my sweetheart now why can't i? XD great work, my friend, great work.
-
This paints a wonderful picture that is easy to call up and reads so well. It flows nicely and is a leasure to spend time on. Congratulations.
-
great
Freakin awesome write....vivid descriptions...keep the good writes coming... -
You done a great job on this piece. I loved all of te images that you used in it. My favorite part was
"we are together
alone outside
whispers of sweet lullaby from the crickets
gazing in to each others soul"
Keep up the excellent work!
-
The imagery is nice...I love the moonlight and sharing it with someone special...Listening to the crickets serenade is a delight...The background is nice and fitting of the piece.
Victoria Lin -
nice poem. Good imagry. I think the best bit is:
softly we stare
up into the silky sky
stars above dancing in our eyes
sleepily we watch
keep writting
jade -
Amazing ending. We all need the moonlight
... Very enjoyable poem. You deserve an applaud... heehee
-
Great wording, it's so easy to understand and visualize. It seems perfect. I loved it!
-Catie -
Great imagry sis....i love love love it...To bad i cant do love crap like that...My love poems are a hidden message in a dark punk song...yours are stait forward..an amazing thing to capture a complex feeling...Awesome!!!
~!JOY!~ -
amazing
this poem illustrates the scene beautifully. I have always love the moonlight. It is so romantic, especially when you are in love! -
This a a beautiful piece and the imagery is amazing. The flow of the piece is perfect. It is easy to read and it is so emotive that it demands to read and re-read. Its time-less. The emotion expressed never dies. I really love these lines :
"stars above dancing in our eyes
sleepily we watch"
SaoirseLou -
Thank you for entering the contest.
I love this part.
darkness yet not
just lightly lit by moon
sweet silence around
quiet breeze slips by
It gives me a beautiful image. Thank you again for entering the contest.
Peace
Lizzie
Adding your comment:
1 - 33 of 33
