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Hichhiking

Missing image


I stuck out my thumb
And asked you for a lift.

You caressed my thumb with your words,
And convinced me that I'd never feel needy again
As long as I had you in ear's range...

But then off you sped.

And my body flailed in the wind behind
Like a balloon tied to a bumper.

I think my sporadic view of your backside
Was all that kept me hanging on.



Author notes

This was a 45 second piece.
Written December 19th, 2004

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Comments


  • SmokeFollowsBeauty
    February 16, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I agree with Lady Azure. I am in love with your writings. I have to tell my sister about you, she'll love your poetry. You are one of the most talented poets on this site who's poetry I have read. Continue your amazing work and I'll ontinue to read!

  • lady azure
    December 19, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    "I think my sporadic view of your backside
    Was all that kept me hanging on."

    i love this. very intense and deep. can't say much more, but i love the whole poem... beatutiul as always.

  • honeybe
    December 19, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    interesting


  • SeanJ
    December 19, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Heyyyyy, dig it. Simplistic, nice mind-pictures spring up. I think it lacks punch though, mostly because of the use of personal pronouns qualifiers in the begining, and the slip into passive voice in the last coupla lines. I also think you could do without the elipses.