Not Yet

These walls are getting
   s
     m
      a
        l l
         er
    And my heart only
           Growing weaker
 In the background of the nightmare
       A little girl screams
       In the back of my mind
      A thousand voices shriek
            "Get out, Get out"
       "He's not coming back,
          He'll turn into your brother,
      Fall and not get up,
           Leave
           While
           Y o u
           Still
           C a n
             "
   GET OUT GET OUT
                I shout back
        GET OUT OF MY HEAD
   He'll fight,
               Like he always does,
      Pull himself out of the darkness
        Away from the monsters,
             Like
              He
            Always
             Does
               .
  "No, no, no"
     Check the pulse,
       He's not breathing now,
   The serene face
                   Gives it away,
       He's not coming back...
            not coming back..."

   NO, NO, NO
       The pulse is him fighting
   The breaths are slow
                 Because he's saving it
            So when he wakes up
      He can tell just how much
              He loves me
                 Like
                  He
                Always
                 Does
                  .
      "Ha, ha!
            Why lie to yourself,
              Look, You told him already
       A thousand times
                      What he means to you
          But any reply?
                    NO,
                        He's given up,
                He doesn't love you enough,
          Take the girl and run
                 Save yourselves"

          NO, NO, GOD DAMMIT NO! NO! NO!
    He's said my name,
            He held my hand
                 Somewhere he's there
           Inside himself,
         I'll find him eventually
  Even if it takes
          Forever...
     
            "You sick, sorry thing you..."

             NO, No, not again! I know what
       You'll say
          And
       I don't want to hear it

                       "No, no, no,
                                   Just,
                          Listen closely this time
                  Why put yourself
          Through all of this,
                  Whoever you love always ends up
              Hurting you  
                  And what do you get?
                                Nothing,
       The hold the weak when they act strong,
                     Put them on the pedestal,
                  While you
                      Cry
                     Your
                    Eyes out.
                          But by the time they look
            You wipe the tears clean,
                         Smile again,
                       Why?  WHY DO THIS TO US?
              Don't cry anymore,
                    Leave the girl, just get up and run
          Don't even give him
              A kiss goodbye,
                  Don't leave a note for your mom
                    Just run,
                    Just run,
                    Just run
                        .

           (I try to utter a reply
               But the truth gets caught in my throat,
                      Hacking, shredding my conscious
                I stand up,
                  Kiss him

















                        And fall
                           .