When you meet someone new,
that special spark appears.
The feelings begin to grow,
regardless of your fears.
When the first kiss comes,
you know that it is right.
You stay close to this person,
hold on to them in the night.
When the heart becomes fond,
trust and hopes are shared.
Deep feelings progress,
intimacy is declared.
When the timing is right,
and you know that it is true.
You whisper those three words,
confessing, I love you.
When things fall apart,
the bond begins to break.
You are left feeling alone,
no more your soul can take.
When you ask yourself how,
and why this happened again.
Just look into the past,
to the time back when...
When you told them you loved them,
and were dedicated from the start.
When you gave into that first kiss,
you begged: Please, break my heart.
Author notes
Haven't posted for awhile now so I thought I would put this up. It needs some work and is open to any criticism.
Written December 17th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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G reat
Very powerful... Somewhere sometime the reward for a poetic heart exists...;o) -
great
Beautiful, pretty much describes a whole relationship. Great way to put it into a poem. Truely impressive
Keep it up
~Tal
© The LoseR Outfit -
Oh dear...I can really relate to this piece at this point in my life. Each line is bleeding emotion. Perfect ending. You have talent. Keep writing!
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Sad!
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This goes through the whole "love" cycle. Exposes everything people feel & think... Not many can put feelings so complex into words & for that, I commend you. Well done.
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i agree some of the rhyme seems a little pushed, yet i think it worked. It added a jagged awkward edge to what you were saying, if that make sense? the idea is so profound and the pushy rhyme is almost an advantage. I really, really really love the idea. It a criticism I find in many people, they asked for their heart to be broken by giving in to the rough patches and losing their identity to their partners. Fantastic, god its good to have you posting again, you always make me smile! xxxx
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me123123 -
I thought this poem was very interesting. It holds some slightly different views about love from the start, which no one is able to accept until the end of the 'love.' I thought it was an awesome poem. I guess if you want critism, the only thing I found is that some of the lines seem to be forced into rhyming. It's still a great poem, though. I hope you have fun and keep up the neat writing!
-Tiana
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