Her fragile body sits in the shadows,
She awaits her lover, dark creature of the night
A young girl's innocence lost in his eyes,
She craves and longs for his painful bite.
He rises from his velvet coffin,
He thrives in the shadows of fear
He cast a wicked tempting grin
And flies to take her life so dear
As she whimpers and crawls to her bed,
She asks of the lord a request
She ask to be tortured in his chambers of hell,
As her cold, black heart pounds in her chest
Her life has been a living hell,
when she dies, she'll be at home
Kept in a cell, the dark one will dwell,
And she will become one as well
Her devil with a handsome face,
Has come to drink her life,
He walks toward her pathetic being
As he lowers his head for a bite
One small bite and her red blood flows,
He places her in the quickmire mud
He smiles,for the vampire has taken her soul
As he sips from the chalice of blood~
Author notes
Written August 20th, 2002
In a list
A contest entry
- X_Vampires_X by I Am The Nightmare.
300 points, ended May 1, 2006, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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Another.....
..... great poem you pen with such interesting imagination on this subject. I wonder if you long to be food for the undead at times?
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great
This is a great poem I love it its just really good Keep up the great work> Thanks for entering my contest.
<3 Blood Lust <3 -
Wow..my dear auntie don't you think that little kids like me would get scared after seeing this picture?
A nice try at writing a different poem.
Wish you luck in the contest.
Shahrzad
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excellent presentation
wow Susan, this is really very image evoking. I actually felt like I was seeing this Dracula sucking the life out of this poor girl.. You scared me!!!! LOL.........Great write!
Best of luck in the contest.
etherealforu 
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SIS A NICEROMANTIC? POST OF VAMPIRISM, I personally don't like those type of formed poetry, but this was good, you depicted a vampire in his phase of work..thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest..
Linda -
ah. i see why you like vampires. you see the romantic side of it like i do. with some of the younger ppl i think the romantisism has been lost. i have never written a vampire post. i dont know that i could carry it off as well as you did. have you ever heard of the author chelsea lynn yarbro? she has written a small series of novel based up on a historial legend whos name was st germaine. he was actually a person in histroy that supposidly there was a mistic about him. she wrote him as a vampire in different eras of history and location. such as in egypy during cleopatras reign to mongolia with ghengis khann to ww1 in berlin and even if not especially the crusades. that are all vampire romance novels, very very well done. i love my history espeicaly when it involves romance.
this is a very dark sensual poem. again that sensual thing. that fine line between erotic sensuality. im not a big erotica writer, but i have used mythilogical charactors when writing it and i find that that can be used very well and makes the work more palatable and tasteful fantasy. you can go a million different directions using creatures of the night like this. but the vampire is probably, in my opinon. the most romantic charactor to use. he is suave and sure of himself. subtle and sensual and seductive. all perfect traits.
excellent work dont think i could surpase this. lol. its sdone very tastedul, loving and sensually dark.
beautiful piece.
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I'm not a big fan of vampire stuff, Susan, but your poetry always entrances me...even your vampy poems
You're so good at writing them..... and I enjoyed this one a lot.
I saw this picture in the image filter and that you had posted it so was going to check it out anyway
Good luck in the contest
love and
Dee
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Awesome
Awesome, great job
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Awesome! As with all your poems, I feel as if I am watching. IT gives me chills and I love it.
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This is nicly done veryy good write good job.
DimishedFaith -
Awesome
Love this Susan~I have so much on my mind and trying to word it is a chore~ This is beautifully done and gives that bite I love~ Keep on writing and scaring the hell out of people
Loving em 
~Big hugs 
and much love~Desire
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thy dark walk
touches in shadows where a crimson smile
serrated the soul!
I did enjoy this my friend!
Keep penning on!
Bill -
i like ur work so much
specially all the vampire writes, i have a thing for vampires..and i like to bite lol shh 
i liked this write jus like all the others
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don't touch it!
hey this is an aweseome story. I read it over again because I enjoyed it so much. you do such awesome work. blessed be -
excellent
'Her fragile body sits in the shadows,
she awaits her lover, dark creature of the night
A young girl's innocence lost in his eyes,
she craves and longs for his painful bite.' ----i couldn't have said it better myself!
i definitely think the first and last stanzas make the poem...
tres bien. -
neutral
Vampires we need more vampires. I love to see a good vampire write. This was great. ~Jill~ -
excellent
Hm..*strokes her chin*Very good storytelling.
~J-chan~ -
don't touch it!
Wonderful write!
Once again, I love anything with vampires!
This was well written.
More vampire writes!
Yaaaaaaay!
:)~ -
don't touch it!
I love this!! And the pic!! Again, I SWEAR I had NO idea you wrote this stuff...and Magik Willow was asking about where to get Vampire poems and I told her about mine...'Giving Yourself (The Thirst)...but I starting joking and decided to write my 2 new ones 'Midnight Snack For A Vampyre' and 'Bite Me', never did I realize you already wrote 2 yesterday...lol
This is great!! So scary...a bit kinky...hahahha
Hey, is that a DOLL in that casket? :) He looks a bit STIFF!!!!! hahahhahahaha ROFLMAO!!! I love reading stuff about supernatural and dark themes, fantasies, myths, magic, etc. Another one going in my faves. :)
Edited by Lone Poet on right now. -
don't touch it!
Whoa, Susan??? Is that you??? This is creepy girl, wow you are on a roll...
Going back under my covers now, vampires creep me out....:) ~ Ce
Edited by WisperingSkyz on right now. -
excellent
I feel in a dark mood today so this fit me well.... : ) -
don't touch it!
this is very cool..nice one -
Thanks you all i feel somewhat in a dark mood tonight
Thus prompted the poem
Susan~~~~ -
excellent
hmm.....very good...i like dark tales like this....
thanks for sharing.
ViNce -
excellent
eewww can I come out from behind the covers now..lol..A really good write..Sis...~~~GILL~~~ -
excellent
Great story here. Thank you -tj-
Sorry Susan had to do a spoof to this 'Smoothest Skin'
Edited by coffee-agh on right now because 'add'.
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