In a sea of empty faces
All I see is you
Your eyes
Your smile
Your touch
You took everything
That was real
Away from me
And now
There is nothing left
But a million haunting memories
Am I being punished
For loving you
Wanting you
My heart is beginning
To frost over
The pain in my chest
Beginning to dull
And I am left
With emptiness
An icy wind
Now filling the void
Left by the loss of you
Author notes
Written December 14th, 2004
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1 - 21 of 21
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Very poignant sentiment and well written. An experience each has had at sometime in our lives. Good job and thanks for your comment on "Days of Twilight Times."
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Reading this I am reminded of terrible winter storms. Icy cold where the only relief is the cold sleep of death.
Beautifully written.
Talia -
good
I can so relate to this and the scary thing is the whole romantic notions I had were basically over the internet.Nowadays it's like where does reality begin lol.Thank you for sharing it really did make me feel I'm not the only one
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I just read one of yours that speaks of love blossoming, and now I read of losing a love...I hope the blossoming one is in the present...but this is so beautifully expressed, albeit so sad... so beautifully and tenderly composed Anna!!!!
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Superb
Take a bow for this fine piece of work.
very interesting the way your words fit to this awesome work.
I hear where your coming from I use to feel the same way,but now I have a wonderful family to hold onto.
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Hey! Sorry it took me suuuuch a long time to reply to the comment you left on my poem (I really don't have an excuse for not replying to the comments on my poems left by various people...just laziness and lack of motivation o_< ) I really don't know what to say about this piece...except that it's pretty
. Well, hope your holiday is going well. Ciao
~}*{Angela}*{~ -
Emptiness is a good thing, for it creates a vessel that can one again become full. Too often ppl end up feeling themselves up with emotions just so they won't have to face the loss. Whether it is the breaking up of a relationship or the death
or a person. If it was a bitter split, hatred often fills the heart and a heart full of hatred can't love again, this is why we HAVE to forgive, to become empty so we can become full once more. In a death we mourn, but if we don't get past the mourning we remain "full" on the past and can't receive the present.
So think not of emptiness as a loss, but rather as an opportunity to become whole once more...
Hugs and Happy Holidays
Eddy
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Wow, this is a beautiful poem which I liked a lot Amazing romance within your words, keep writing and thanks for commenting on my poem, I loved this
All the best,
Pozo
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This is very sad and painful... you express loss of love very well.
Strong feelings in this, i can relate.
Hugs for you sweetie!
~ Wendy -
I hope this loss that you have so beautifull written about is not a fresh wound. I know how painful these things can be. And it's hard to write about them in a constructive and poetic way, but this was beautiful. Simple and elegant and honest...wonderful.
<3 -
Well Done!
I can so relate as I think most can.. The "void" you speak of, such a paramount part of our lives so it seems. Very well done, especially in short staccato sentences. Well Done! -
loss can be felt even though it is made of emptiness it's weight can be monstrous on ones soul, and oh, how the love that once was haunts and taunts and flaunts itself on the arm of another sometimes, but it is best to empty the emptiness and leave the heart and soul filled with hope for what;s to coem...lovely sad poem.....Artis
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it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all...
those words probably dont make sense... at least you have experienced what others long for- love.
your heartbreak will make you stronger in the longrun... scars are the strongest parts of our skin... so this scar is a strong point...
the poem itself was great!! it connected with me... and by the way...
not ALL guys are bad... -
6.8/10
Creativity: The clipped speed and the conversational shards of this poem complements the icy theme inherent. With that said, there are too many cliches such as "you took everything that was real..." and "But a million haunting memories". Couldn't you find a few phrases that haven't been used before? 6/10
Innovation: The form was wonderful. I loved the short lines. It gave a feeling of suddenness. I, as a reader, felt like I was reading something new. All you need to do now is exploit your discovery. 8/10
Technique: The form, itself, has a wonderful techniqe. Unfortunately, you need to work on your descriptiveness. Might I recommend tapping into the power of metaphor? 5/10
Readability: I breezed through this one fairly quickly, and I masticated it and devoured it too. I had fun, and this was much more readable than most of the schlock I am confronted with. 7/10
Emotionality: This is another thing you do well. I want to comfort you and tell you it will all be better. I see remnants of your heart on the cold, concrete floor. 8/10 -
awwww this is very very heart felt, i think alot of people have been in this situation, i know i have.. don't you just hate it when your punnished for loving someone? wondeful write, keep up the great work
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Ths is a great write... I can't really relate to it (and actually I hope I never can
)... This seemed very heartfelt and sincere... I hope you keep on writing the good stuff!!!
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I really like the line, "There is nothing left / But a million haunting memories ." great job on writing this! great way of expressing love lost.
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i can really relate.. and it makes my heart melt.. i loss someone i loved before.. but its over now.. i hope if this is what your feeling right now you'll be ok.. nice poem.. full of pain and very expressive..
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hi, this was really great! You did a good job. I know exactly how you feel when you say that in a crowd of faces, he is all you see. This was a wonderful display of emotions. Keep up the great work! Thanks for sharin! Blessed Be!
Love ~ Jess ~ -
Aweeeeeeee! I know your pain! Really I do. I lost the one I loved more than anything else in the world earlier this year, and sadly it doesn't get any easier as time wears on..stupid boys...I know EXACTLY what you mean by haunting memories..THEY SUCK!!! lol...okay I'm done now..
XoXo
NiKKi -
this is very heart felt I can feel your pain gret write thank you for sharing it
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