Paling moon glows softly,
Two lovers doing magic
Tenderly alive...
Author notes
Written August 19th, 2002
In a list
A contest entry
- Collective Haiku (Haiku Chains) by Dutch Doll.
350 points, ended January 14, 2005, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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good effort
I see that we have a haiku lady here, and lots of them too. Looks like you have something going on here. Nicely done. Hope you don’t mind my saying this:
You might want to take out the (the) in the first line. It slows the image down. You have lost a power word there. Try and give the moon a description like for instance, “half moon, or paling moon, you only have 17 beats to get you message across, so make every word count. Nice one.
SirPort
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I loved this haiku but for my contest I wanted a cluster of haikus that make a poem
Next contest however..... 
Adriana -
very very nice. Tenderly alive...that is a cool image...peace
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Excellent haiku
Very beautiful and romantic
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WOW I wish I were there! That' such a beautiful picture, it goes along with your haiku! That's it I'm adding you to my favorites!
~Kayla
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Excellent
Hi Susan:
A very touching Haiku. Beautiful imagery for so few words. Thanks. Bill -
Excellent
Hi Susan:
Great Haiku. I love the 5-7-5 format for Haikus, as that really make a challenge to get all your thoughts in those three lines. Excellent piece and the picture adds to the overall beauty. -
what a awsome image
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Very beautiful....
the picture is perfect!!!
Sam
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don't touch it!
love it yet again and the style is as always with haiku so wonderful in regards to the topic have you noticed that haiku gives a great deal of maturity and importance to any subject -
neutral
amazing....truly amazing....
thanx for sharing* -
don't touch it!
wow
so beautiful
both pic and poem
~*~adriana~*~ -
Thanks all of you
Blesings
Susan~~~~ -
don't touch it!
Yea, I agree with everyone else!!! Really well written!! Well done!! :-) I'm looking forward to reading more!! :-) Luv, Lee -
don't touch it!
Beautiful work Susan. Great pic find also. -tj- -
don't touch it!
Yeah, let the imagination fill in the rest.
Excellent write.
Thanx for sharing this. -
neutral
Hey, where is the man on the moon's smiley face? lol Looks like bad case of acne, giant craters. :) -
excellent
Wow, this is cool! Pretty, mesmerizing haiku...Love the pic, too. :) HUGS -
don't touch it!
I like the second lie most of the three... -
Thanks you all
Blessings
Susan -
don't touch it!
mmmmmmmm sweet. Val -
neutral
well, glad they're not dead.
:0)
Nam -
neutral
Incredibly sweet and romantic !!!
:)
Take care
-Sarah- -
don't touch it!
Very deep, it's one of the best Haikus I've ever read. -
excellent
Just lovely...I got this piccie too lol..damn..lol..~~GILL~~~
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