You've got this
(unbearable)
way of making me feel
like I'm supposed to know what I'm doing.
Like the ideas
- I have and
the -
thoughts that I share
should be more than just
w o r d s
on paper.
But all I can do is sit here
"ranting and raving"
,
practising old arguements
til I've got them d
Your questions
(?)
answered with ?questions?,
because I never knew the solutions.
I sit here and
pick
at
old
war
wounds,
scratching til there's a
hole
in my flesh and
blood on my palms like spilt wine from the
b
o
t
t
l
e
.
Author notes
Written December 13th, 2004
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I got a really deep sense of the mood from which you wrote this. There's a kind of depressed frustration with this relationship that you're not really at liberty to get out of. Picking at your wounds... kind of like an animal trying to free themselves from a trap. I like the way the spilt wine implies a sloppiness in your approach.
This poem really feels special. Good job.
Mike -
Oh i love the form of this poem, the skipping lines and writing a letter per line, different spacing of letters in a word. It makes the effect of the poem much greater, the poem different,
'Pick at old war wounds' hm. this reminds me we might have new ones to pick at thanks g w bush hehe. but yes i know yours were a metaphor. -
I love it. I really rally do. I've been away from this site for such a long time and I don't write anymore and reading this meant a lot to me in so many ways, so thanks for that.
I like the way this was written. The subject is the same old rant, so it needed that kind of experimental form to freshen things up. I love the war wounds line. -
In answer to your question, it depends greatly on my mood. This particular piece was written exactly as you see it here. It was written over a period of about an hour, with me thinking about all sorts of things as I wrote it. The structure just felt right as I was writing.
Sometimes, though, the structure comes much later. I'll write a piece and it'll feel like there's "something missing" so I'll play around with the form until I'm happy with it. Needless to say, it can sometimes ruin something I've written and they tend to end up on the scrap heap (a box stashed away in my room - one day I'll go back to them and work on them some more!).
Edited on Dec 27, 3:10 p.m. because 'Write? Or Right? Who can tell?'. -
I can certainly see that good ol' e.e. has been an influence on you. I write free verse, but never as concretely as this. I'm curious...do you place the words as you have them here, in the final draft, as you initially write, or after you have written the words, do you then look at them and decide where to place them?
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Beautiful.
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hi Sarah .. I came to read this genuinely looking for an answer. I desperately need to act like I don't care. but it's so difficult, because I do. and a lot. I'm surely not in the right mental state to try and comprehend complex poetry, something like "How to Hang Yourself" would probably have been a better poem for me today .. well I do remember a website about technology assisted death, which is just perfect for an engineer guy like me.. but well maybe i'll read your poem again sometime i'm in a better state .. till then I just assume it's good, cos yours always are. hugs.
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i liked this, made me think alot but the writing flowed easily. Well done
Crystal xx -
I’m never sure about these… are they honest moments or moments that seem honest after careful thought… if they are indeed ‘real’, immediate moments, I must have missed out on a couple of senses – I never have them – or at least, if I do I thought it was wind… Perhaps a reason why I find so much of the poetry here inexplicable.
‘Scratching at old war wounds.’ Nice! A new way to look at emotional baggage but once you are aware of it most of the problem is solved – it’s those that don’t realise they are falling back into the same deep ruts that mostly have the problem – isn’t it? Or are we doomed despite every cerebral effort to fall into those emotional tar pits and become fossilised dinosaurs, to our emotions?
As you can probably tell I enjoyed the read… even if I think it is in the ‘protesteth too much’ category it is still stimulating reading.
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