A single cloud floats through the night in silence,
Shining in the full moon’s light in silence.
We talked of angels, god, and destiny,
Then off you lifted taking flight in silence.
Deep in the opaque waters of a pond
Shimmers all of heaven’s height in silence.
Broken by an unrelenting tempest,
Your bark, listing, sank from sight in silence.
The mountaintop thrusts deep into a mist,
Its peak hidden by the blight in silence.
A shrouding mist now compasses your soul,
Yet still you rise beyond our plight in silence.
This night is passing from your heart, Zahhar,
As here you watch the dawn grow bright in silence.
Author notes
this attempts to metahporize a friend's passing. she died in july of 2002 from colon cancer. she often told me that i was the only one who would listen to her when she wanted to talk about her fear of dying. we would talk as light-heartedly about this taboo subject as if we were talking about poetry itself. this had apparently played an important role in helping her prepare emotionally and mentally for the inevitable. she was a good friend and i still miss her.
featured in:
Art Arena's World Poems: www.artarena.force9.co.uk/thomas.htm
to learn more about the ghazal: allpoetry.com/Column/784848/all=1
Written August 8th, 2002
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Canopy Sunshine...
Death is a topic I usually try to avoid...not because I am uncomfortable....just because I guess I feel that it will approach me soon enough and there isn't any reason to dwell on it..but this piece throws a certain peaceful light on the entire idea...that it is more of a natural occurence that is going to happen so there isn't any use in whining over it
"A shrouding mist now compasses your soul..."
My favorite line.... Thank you for sharing your ideas because I (think....) I might have learned something...lol
Great write!
KAY
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This had a very soft and surreal feeling to it ... an amazing tribute to your dear friend. And now you have me wondering about ghazal ... hmmm. Anyway wonderful poem.
~Tina -
Really good work...enjoyed it lOTS
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aaaah, if this is the case, then i imagine you'd like "Empty Voyage". that's probably the sadest most angst-ridden ghazal I wrote out of the 125.
i'm glad you came back and found one you liked.
thank you. boosts my self esteem a bit.
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This poem sticks to the ghazal format and nowhere does one find the form obstructing the expression of feelings/thought. It flows softly like a Zephyr. Shelley was very correct in saying that our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought.
krishna -
In the silence an overwhelming sense of completion uplifts the spirit with a shroud of peace. Such is the ghazal.
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Again, brilliant piece of work. Your poetry is truly amazing! Lovely job.
~hell~ -
this has a very etheral (sp) feeling....another world or dimension....it floats across the page and across my mind as i hope the spirit of your friend lingers on in hearts that loved her....a beautiful tribute to her.
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poetprncess: i actually revised this for possibly the forth time just before posting it. i think the meter, verbal flow, is now the best so far compared with previous revisions. i also appreciate your kind words. by the way, "Nadir" here is the same person as "Pappydel" at PK. if you haven't already said hi and connected with him, i'm sure he'd enjoy hearing from you.
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Nadir: really appreciate your thoughts here. thank you for your kind words.
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Hey Erin, Please also accept my condolences. A friend that shares their fears of dying, and often more fears of living are friends that don't come along everyday...It also says so much about you...as a person. And to the poetry--
I've still not tried a Ghazal, and when you do them it looks so easy...as with your Villanelles... Everything just blends together... I will be Villanelles in January, maybe Ghazal in February!
This is flawless to my ear and eye. The meter is smooth and uninterrupted and the subject is enchanting...
The ending line floored me! A beautiful poem! Hugs, Liz
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stirring
Erin,
My belated condolences on the loss of your friend. I too, have held the hand and heart of a close friend as life ebbed into the mystery of the beyond. I believe if more people could experience the sweet sadness of "being there" for such things, there would be less closed thinking on the subject. It is a very personal and yet somehow very enlightening experience to be able to share a bond with someone who is terminally ill. My blind friend, Emma, had never known the light of day, but when she was in the throes of passing, she thanked me over and over for holding her hand and letting her "see" and feel my caring...this has left an indescribably warm sense of personal satisfaction even through the sadness.
Did'nt mean to go off on a tangent with this, just the thoughts that your fine depiction of such an event evoked in me personally. I applaude your well done Ghazal, kind Zahhar.
Edited on Dec 12, 9:31 p.m. because ''.
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