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Perplexities of the Afghan Mountains

Missing image


 
 A young Afghan face look curiously at my Special Forces patch 

 in pale-eyed wonder 
 as I take a brief respite from my trials;
 I notice warily, then turn

 and catch a shiny yellow substance from a glossy plant 
 mimicking unit markings on the natural bony armor 
 of a clumsy, round-bodied insect 
 with paper-thin wings humming a strained, vibrant noise, 
 still full of life;
 I allow myself to indulge in my practiced military mind 
 as view the bug as a heavy weapon of war- 
 slap, bang, teeter, burst, clang, rattle, jar, 
 crash, burn...

 

 


 Aiding me in my efforts to brush this conflict aside

 are my alliances of feuding, bickering militants-
 pugnacious and quarrelsome, 
 a blend of inflammable petty claims
 kindling ineffectual disorder
 among the illicit poppies and wailing mountain goats 
 who run from the swinging sticks 
 bleating in a primeval chorus
 of uncomprehending instinct,
 not unlike their blister-soled masters;

 I am to force an intelligent cooperation 
 to aid in the plight of the local clans 
 whose women and children have grass

 protruding from their starving lips; 
 the foreigners who endeavor to bring aid 
 being decimated before they arrive 
 by the roaming warlord footmen; 
 and here, from the confines of their conflicts and struggles
 I can only wonder

 if anyone in the world is looking on…

 

 


 Another day, another night, 
 and I am blessed to wake and rise again, 
 if only to cold morning 
 with an icy brightness beyond that allotted to me; 
 the frosty brittleness of my stubble melts slowly away 
 in the steam of my Meal-Ready-to-Eat 
 and the coffee that I distractedly warm with my flameless heater
 that I alternately use to battle camel spiders and scorpions 
 while the greater world fights on
 for a more sublime and lasting peace...

 I wonder, as I resume my journey, 
 about the tumult of inventive discord 

 that originated from local, divisive factions

 and their devised fabrications...

 

 



 Though mobile,
 I fit snugly into the cohesion 
 of the illogical entanglements of the inhabitants
 who I encounter along the way; 
 I share my insights, comforting, yet conforming

 to the unintelligible confusions 
 that I organize into a harmonious coldness that transmutates- 
 now passionless, now spiritless, now violent and threatening, 
 deadly, with shivering accessories 
 from the smoking, deadened failures 
 of the inflexible foreign assemblages 
 of colossal pretenses 
 that render my contentious emotions comatose, 
 that turn the fight into a dull expressionless struggle 
 composed of an amalgamation 
 of small, consumable beauties and comforts 
 found in the rubble, soothing and agreeable,
 welcome yet desolate, and cheerless; 
 with a fanciful appearance of courtesy 
 intermingled with the fear;


 The dead are celebrated and eulogized in posthumous praise 
 by long-bearded leaders and bent, gray chieftains 
 whose facades of government 
 are sufficient to satisfy the civil onlookers 
 for their largesse of aid and charity.

 

 


 As I ponder this antagonistic contest
 I am able to sufficiently expose 
 such false emulations of concern, 
 much to the satisfaction of the participants, 
 in a polite converse of complex compliance 
 worthy of compliment;

 there is a reluctant tolerance for the supernatural, 
 acknowledging but refraining 
 from compromising the irresistible impulse 
 to violate their serene moments 
 by acting upon the subject with unwise derision or ridicule. 

 So I wonder 
 as I scale the impossible mountains, the rugged mountains 
 lying between me and my uncertain end, 
 if, amidst their own myriad, microscopic, and distant

 conflicts and struggles 
 if anyone is really looking on in wonder...

 

 

Author notes

Joined Dec. 4, 2004 -wbiro

Topic: War. From the view of a seemingly out-of-place but all too common perspicacious combatant.
Posted December 10th, 2004

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18
  • janeofdreams silver member
    September 16

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    Honest and heartfelt

    It's odd that this very first piece would be part of a contest. It reads so honest and deeply heartfelt, like an outpouring of a soul in perplexity. Unseeking of any reward other than to replace the conflict of environment and inner self with peace, it's just ironic that it went to contest. This is an involving piece. It makes the reader want to kiss the ground of the non-warring, beyond Third World nation that they hopefully live in. This poem is a most unusual start to a prolific life here on AP. I can see the essence analysis here. I looked again at the date of the contest and realized it was entered 4 years after writing! Well, this poem has taught me to look closer at detail, and to trust the first instinct---honest and heartfelt.


    • wbiro gold member
      September 16

      Edit | Reply
      hey, thanks... my first 'posted' piece... I wrote a few dozen before I joined, and this was one of them... I was transitioning from writing on politics, and I had just begun writing creatively again around September 2004... then I stumbled upon AP... most were purely abstract... had not discovered 'love' yet...


  • poetryality silver member
    September 1, 2008

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    You never cease to amaze me with the way you master words. I cannot see the possiblity of stating your perspective in this area without the use of every word possible. As I see in the comments, an American military man has given you kudos. I am in accord with him. Although I do not know much about War, except that I detest us having to kill one another for whatever reason. I do respect that our service men and women are to be applauded for their commitment and good work.

    You have done an outstanding job here. Thank you for this entry in my contest dearest manchild. I wish you the best in this challenge and all of life's endeavors.


    Always ♥

    Mom

  • wbiro gold member
    August 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    well, I won't argue that it is long, and as for boring I see the wording could use some work... for me this piece was almost 700+ poems ago! I remember going from abstract to making literal sense out of it- I think it needs to go back to abstract... also there is no heart-felt romance in it, either... but it's already long... food for thought...! thanks for your response, Flowering Star!
    Edited on Aug 06, 9:07 p.m. because ''.


  • Flowering Star
    August 6, 2006
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    Great vocabulary and choice of words. Good imagery, but very long and boring. I see no one else agrees with me.


  • MrsBamMargera
    December 20, 2005
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    good

  • wbiro gold member
    December 15, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Have you written anything on it yet, from an unclassified humanistic standpoint- that reminds me, I did another 'military psyche' piece you may enjoy, it's set in the far-off distant future... allpoetry.com/Poem/1410163

    and thanks for the link, I'll try it out...


  • Airborne Ed silver member
    December 15, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    If you there is something else you would like to know about Afghanistan or what some of the troops are doing I would like to help anyway I can.

  • wbiro gold member
    December 15, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks, Maverick, you've given me a few new things to play with when I tinker with this piece! maybe 'making sure I don't share my sleeping bag with a camel spider or scorpion...!

  • Airborne Ed silver member
    December 15, 2005
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    You have a very unique gift in your poetry. In a few places it looks like you truly understand what we go through. To me it also appears your on the outside actually taking the time to look in. I am very impressed in how you wrote this poem.

    You have used such power within your words to describe many things. In the desert of Afghanistan is does get so very cold, and the rations we eat sometimes we wonder if they are even eatable. Some morning hazards we deal with just getting out of the rack (Bed) are the Camel spiders, and the scorpions. Each patrol our troops are sent on may lead to certain death. We rely upon each other, for we are a brotherhood like no other.

    The weapons we use are to protect and serve our comrades and the people. The tactics we use only ensure our safety.

    I did enjoy your poem and I hope you continue to write some poetry that honours our soldiers.

  • wbiro gold member
    January 13, 2005
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    Thanks for catching my dyslexia (perpiscacious!) Poem too 'full of it'? Yea, possibly- it is a big mouthful... and you did get me to do some more rewriting! I did have fun delving into all the uncommon perceptions!
    The technique I used in creating this poem was (1) Open thesaurus, (2) make a story out of the words in sequence; (3) see if I have a workable piece that can be applied it to the world while introducing new perceptions,(4) rewrite it for a year to improve images, flow, applicability, and readability. Simple!
    Edited on Jan 13, 6:38 because 'of a fatal penchant for editing'.

  • FireoftheNight
    January 13, 2005
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    You have an excellent vocabularly!!! (Though might I just add that in your authors notes I think the word you are looking for is perspicacious )
    This poem is full of description and I wonder if it is not really too full of it.

    Good luck in the contest,
    -kat-

  • wbiro gold member
    December 18, 2004
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    Ahhh! A dilemma- Alia wants me to scale back while touchof1der wants me to go even further!
    Thanks, Alia, as the complex words convey an image all in themselves- those aspects of human nature that have yet remained unseen... writing the same picture in simpler words may prove impossible, but would broaden its audience.
    Edited on Jan 13, 6:12 because 'of a fatal penchant for editing'.


  • December 13, 2004
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    While I found the poem's theme to be wonderful, I found I became lost in your overusaged of words. Sometimes a poet becomes lost in their own affinity to higher diction and sometimes I feel that it takes away from a truly powerful poem. This is what happened in your case. If you revised this, this has the potential to be a phenomenal piece.


  • Touchof1der silver member
    December 12, 2004
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    WoW! This was very powerful. I am very impressed by your writing style. One of the things I love most about free form poetry is the fact that it allows the writer to get as expressive as they want and it allows you to inflict as little or as much emotion into a piece to pass on to the reader. This is a perfect example of why I love this style so much. Don't ever stop stretching yourself as a writer or sharing your talent.
    ~Kimberly


  • Virago
    December 11, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    this is a powerful piece of art! Just wonderful imagery!
    Cheers and welcome!!!
    Laura

  • wbiro gold member
    December 10, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thankz, catz! I get a lot of inspiration from the poets here!
    Edited on Dec 18, 1:13 because 'of endless fiddling'.


  • catz Moderators member
    December 10, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Lol @ your comment
    Your poem is quite an undertaking, wbiro!! I'm very impressed
    You've written this so well, getting your thoughts and feelings across in magnificent style. I need to read it again, though to absorbe the true meaning, to indulge in this thoughtful and meaningful write.
    I'm anxious to read more of your work.

    As an official Site Greeter I want to welcome you to allpoetry. Be sure to check out our monthly contest for new members at www.allpoetry.com/contest/920038
    Now....read, write and enjoy

    Dee

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