Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Counting bullets

Words echoing in my head
Waking me from my sleep
Rebounding as though from the dead
Depriving me from counting sheep

I start counting bullets
One for each word
One for his smile, and one for the head
One for each kiss or hug he ever gave me
If her words are true,
Then why am I still here with you?

One for the eyes I love
One for the bright fullmoon
One for a small white dove
Turning pitch black soon

Angels don't watch over angels
Don't even care to watch over devils
Flee from the sound of churchbells
Before FirstFallenAngel your soul sells

And I'm still counting bullets
One for a possible lie
I didn't even know that - the human mind can be so unkind
Beginning to ask myself unnessesary questions
If she is the one who lies,
Why is it my heart that dies?

It all adds up to golden number triple-six
I go back to Hell to get myself a decent fix
My mind is once again in denial of the fact that I exist
All thanks to golden number six six six

Angels don't watch over angels
Or so my mind tells
Yet somehow today I understand
My haven is my lovers hand

Author notes


Written December 10th, 2004

In a list

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • SugarCandyKittyKat
    May 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Sweet Darkness...

    Exquisite piece.


  • DarlingStac
    February 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    AHH! i loved it!! great write.... i loved it... it was so good.. very angry and wordy...like i said... i like words...lol.. i loved this... good luck in my contest...love stac


  • -Lonely-Prisoner-
    January 12, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    "One for the eyes I love
    One for the bright fullmoon
    One for a small white dove
    Turning pitch black soon"

    wow, im speechless, i dont know what to say, its such a true poem, angels do not care to watch over the devil and other angels, who is to look over us? well done, be safe, hope you win!!

  • troubledgurl101
    January 11, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    wow this is really good i really really like it its sad and everything i can totally relate this is perfect for my contest i am glad you entered it! this made top ten! well great job good luck
    nicole


  • PINBALLxMASQUERADE
    January 4, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very powerful and intence poem. I really like it- no scratch that i loved it. Awsesome!


  • sleeping dragon
    December 28, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    damn! That is pretty intense! I myself have had thoughts like that over someone,criminal minds...lol...keep up the good work!

  • Mj gold member
    December 27, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Once again, Smores Girl, thanks for the heads up
    And everybody, thanks for reading it, and thanks for the nice words and applauds!

    Love, MJ

  • endoftheworld
    December 23, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    this poem reminded me of mychemicalromance for the counting bullets expression, but everything is depressing and nightmarish when your counting tools of death and destruction, and angels probably do not watch over demons anymore.


  • Smores Girl89
    December 22, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    in the first verse, you need to edit the word 'waking'. in the second to last stanza, you need to edit the word 'triple'. i don't want to seem nit-picky, but you told me to be honest about what i thought, and i sorta think you oughta edit those two words... but anyway, very good job! i agree with pinhead: you have good expressions of misery and pain and angst, but yet, the last few lines are hopeful. in my honest opinion, this poem is very good.

    -meg-

  • devilsson
    December 21, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    great poem good dxpression


  • just rob gold member
    December 21, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    A great poem!Your HUGE expressions of angst,misery,pain,and you still brought it around to hope in the last few well crafted lines,amazing,good luck in the contest,Rob

1 - 11 of 11