Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Unfallen

Lost in a blunder
In complete dismay
I can’t help by wonder
Why I feel this way.
It was never before
These wishful dreams
A heart will pour
Not as it seems.
This can’t be real
I swear its not true
For I cannot feel
This way towards you.
As broken eyes blink
I felt something new
My dear friend I think
I’ve fallen for you.

Author notes

Yes this is uber corny... but I had to get this down... I just find it so strange... Ive been with him for years, and Im just now beginning to see him more than just my friend... I dont understand how that feeling came about.
Written December 9th, 2004

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • AsSaSsInIo13
    March 8, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    wow i no whar your talking about i hate it when i fall for a guy that i know i shouldnt have it sucks and i just go into denial lol keep up the good workk

  • myxlastxautumn
    January 11, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    the emotion is so great!the rhymes are so beautiful!awesome job!
    keep writing and i'll keep reading your wonderful poems


  • Empathy-eyes
    December 17, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    This piece rocks friend, truly. Sometimes when you've been with someone for a while, your attraction for them progresses. It just takes a while for the boil to appear (hehe, pardon my foul expression ) Excellent flow.

    Kate

  • MoNiK
    December 11, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I like this alot...and i wish u the best of luck...i loved the rhyme scheme...props...keep ur head up... ...


  • DeadlyDreamer
    December 10, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    Good

    Yes. I know this feeling. Very well, thank you. This is good, I am happy you are finding someone to your liking... whoa... did that make sence? Anyway, hope this works out for you. Nice job. Write more. I demand it. -Wink- BYE!


  • December 10, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    oh i know the feeling. its weird! and this is not corny so hush hush . i thought you did a great job. like EMO said...hope ya figure things out.

    love,Christal


  • EmotionalWreck
    December 9, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    GREAT!!!!

    This is good. Corny? Who cares? It's really good. I especially like:
    This can’t be real
    I swear its not true
    For I cannot feel
    This way towards you

    i've felt like this. Hope you figure everything out. Great job.
    ~EMO~

  • StayWithMe
    December 9, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    corny poems are always good everyonce in a while...and this one isnt that corny. i like it actually...nice emotions and it has a good flow <3 it.

  • Stick Bug
    December 9, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    9/10

    "I felt something knew"
    I think "knew" should be "new". Just a nitpick.
    "My dear friend I think
    I’ve fallen for you."
    I felt the break in the lines here, while necessary to keep the rhyme going, was a bit iffy.
    Those are my only problems with your piece here. Well done over all...you write some of the better angst. Keep writing.

1 - 9 of 9