Lost in a blunder
In complete dismay
I can’t help by wonder
Why I feel this way.
It was never before
These wishful dreams
A heart will pour
Not as it seems.
This can’t be real
I swear its not true
For I cannot feel
This way towards you.
As broken eyes blink
I felt something new
My dear friend I think
I’ve fallen for you.
In complete dismay
I can’t help by wonder
Why I feel this way.
It was never before
These wishful dreams
A heart will pour
Not as it seems.
This can’t be real
I swear its not true
For I cannot feel
This way towards you.
As broken eyes blink
I felt something new
My dear friend I think
I’ve fallen for you.
Author notes
Yes this is uber corny... but I had to get this down... I just find it so strange... Ive been with him for years, and Im just now beginning to see him more than just my friend... I dont understand how that feeling came about.
Written December 9th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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wow i no whar your talking about i hate it when i fall for a guy that i know i shouldnt have it sucks and i just go into denial lol keep up the good workk
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the emotion is so great!the rhymes are so beautiful!awesome job!
keep writing and i'll keep reading your wonderful poems -
This piece rocks friend, truly. Sometimes when you've been with someone for a while, your attraction for them progresses. It just takes a while for the boil to appear (hehe, pardon my foul expression
) Excellent flow.
Kate
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I like this alot...and i wish u the best of luck...i loved the rhyme scheme...props...keep ur head up...
...
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Good
Yes. I know this feeling. Very well, thank you. This is good, I am happy you are finding someone to your liking... whoa... did that make sence? Anyway, hope this works out for you. Nice job. Write more. I demand it. -Wink- BYE! -
oh i know the feeling. its weird! and this is not corny so hush hush
. i thought you did a great job. like EMO said...hope ya figure things out.
love,Christal -
GREAT!!!!
This is good. Corny? Who cares? It's really good. I especially like:
This can’t be real
I swear its not true
For I cannot feel
This way towards you
i've felt like this. Hope you figure everything out. Great job.
~EMO~ -
corny poems are always good everyonce in a while...and this one isnt that corny. i like it actually...nice emotions and it has a good flow <3 it.
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9/10
"I felt something knew"
I think "knew" should be "new". Just a nitpick.
"My dear friend I think
I’ve fallen for you."
I felt the break in the lines here, while necessary to keep the rhyme going, was a bit iffy.
Those are my only problems with your piece here. Well done over all...you write some of the better angst. Keep writing.
1 - 9 of 9



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