I'm falling cant seem to stop
There's no end to this hole
It repeats its darkness with a crack of light
Unable to see the future
Or able to remember the past
The only thing I imagine is the crash
A fail, to be marked once more
Greed no more then a zero
I want more, but always will be less
I've drank the blood of the young
A joke of a higher grade, repeats by those laughing stairs
Will I make it today or another hurtful death
Author notes
im so..arg tired of studyin...hell wif it.......commented on friendship and breathe
Written December 9th, 2004
A contest entry
- ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!^_^ by Tetsuka.
305 points, ended December 10, 2004, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Sad poem, actually even if you get high grades its a stress area.
Thanks for commenting on my poem, this was really good
Good luck in the contest
All the best,
Pozo
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Don't mind me, I'm incredibly critical
I think falling is a bit overdone. Especially when you come right out and say you are falling. This poem isn't a bad idea, but like so many of the piece I find on this site it lacks that definitive element, that feeling that hits you with "Wow, that's a really great line." Everything here has been done before. I'd also suggest changing the last three lines. Not only do they have odd grammar, but they don't fit the poem that well. -
Good write lots of emotion. No negative comment. ^^
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