are there not
children
playing on the streets
of Megiddo
when Pharoah rides through,
splendid and remote?
Should I not weep,
seeing it so,
through the golden dust
of the ancient avenues,
the hot wind
battering the tattered sheets.
And
if I should not
weep
the moisture
cutting a track
through the dirt
of my gray beard,
would the grey ash
of the distant smoking cities
fall upon my paperwork
soiling the neat lines
and elegant scrolls
that told you of the children's
innocent smiles
and the candles that lit
the last few miles.
Author notes
Written December 8th, 2004
In a list
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Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Within such bittersweet juxtapostioning...lovely imagery and eloquently stated sentiments... a nice poem.
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This is very different from anything else that I usually like and just because of it's so different and very intelligent and individual. Keep it up, good luck in all your future poems.
xRapunzelx -
Wow. This piece is really well done (not as in steak lol). But in all seriousness...you really have done an excellent job writing this. I have no critiques and I usually have SOMEthing to say lol. Oh yea...why did you choose to title it 'Byzantine'? And...that's it lol. Great, great piece of art. Keep it up.
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you have conveyed lost innocence...tragic perfection
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Skillfully done
I wish I knew what to say...there is far too much to be said, even though the poem was not one of immense length. I think this is one of those moments when it doesn't matter what is said. All that matters is the idea that is conveyed. All I want to say, really, is that this...this poem...is very excellent. -
That was a wonderful write, I found it an excellent poem and I was compelled to read it from the start all the way to the finish. It had a magnificent flow of words everything was placed in the right spot and that’s what made it a pleasant read.
It had a good background but i think it could have have a different back to make it a bit more better. even knowing it's a great poem in it self
Keep it up.
Thanks for the wonderful poem to read. -
I like the poem but why the title? What does Byzantium have to do with the Pharoah so very many centuries earlier? I do not think of those civilizations as similar.
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good job
Erudite and invigorating writing. I see so little on here that isn't about lost love, degraded sex, abuse, or drugs. This is much better reading than that stuff.
Jim Dunlap -
First I will refer you to part of my comment on "On The Shore At Troy" where I said.........."I remember now. Sex, war, religion and youth. Beginning with Seduction 1, where we were lured to read on. And this little collection of the Trojan War. Next is religion. And that's where you will openly tie it altogether with current events"
The title, I believe, refers to the Byzantine Empire. . During the seventh century, the religion of Islam arose in the Middle East and within a hundred years, its followers had built an empire larger than the Roman Empire at its height. The Islamic civilization drew on the rich heritage of Greek, Roman, Byzantine, Persian and Indian cultures. (no I didn't pull this from the top of my head but it didn't take much research to pull it up) Byzantine...religion and youth. Now it's time to tie them together with current events or perhaps you have been doing that all along...
Course I could be dead wrong. It's possible.
Desiree -
I applaud
This is a very powerful piece, in my opinion. The imagery you paint is very beautiful and the vocabulary you use, tied in with the rhythm, makes this piece all the more brilliant. -
the name sounds familiar, but this poem is sad...forgetting innocent smiles...how mean
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you Know how to make a point great job
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Hmmmm
The world's leaders are not in touch with the ones they govern, and the descisions he makes can not stop the children from playing. They do not comprehend the choices of a king, just as he can not appriciate their games. -
i love the poems that can be sad and beautiful at the same time. You captured so many emotions so well. great write!
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The bard tales always hit me in the strangest ways... Sort of like going back through time, which is wonderful of course. Except this trip is not so wonderful... a most unpleasant place for children.... then and today.
Your empathy has always been beautiful to read
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brilliant poeme - but i wish litted was a real life word because it would of been so nice in the last wee bit. but things like that dont matter. lit is lovely.
lit is such a flexible sound, some lovely lovely words have lit in like alliteration and that little one that begins in the letter c but bad words like litter and slit. i hate the word slit a lot you know. whats the difference between gray and grey though?
battering and tattered near each other looks beautiful.
i think youre nice writer because you always use those question mark things a lot and loads dont bother because they think they know it all last week dont they
grey looks much softer and blurry than gray doesnt it
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Pretty and sad, I suppose. What parts of it a get, seem to give a sense of not wanting to care? Perhaps not. I never was good at reading your poems.
Jade -
Can the children do anything to change the direction on the Road to Megiddo? I wish the Pharoah wasn't remote. I wish he was paying attention to the innocent smiles.
This makes me sad.
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Masterful. What a poem.
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