curled up
fetal and small
shaking
crying tearlessly
whimpering almost soundlessly
tiny, hiccup-like sobs
escape from my lips
Author notes
Written December 6th, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
short, but very powerful, I always say it takes a much more talented person to write a short piece than a huge long poem.. its hard to condense feelings into a small space of words... especially such feelings like this...
awesome job, thanks for entering my contest and good luck!!!! -
You know its short pieces like this that says so much more than perhaps a original or even long poem could ever explain, wonderful job! This is so incredibly sad yet you have written it so well. Keep writing!
---Sara
-
the poem is describing somone in their state of fragility if that makes sense. and i'm not sure i wanted to include the reason, i just wanted to capture the person sitting there, broken.
~Kate -
Well this was good... I just didnt understand it too well. Was the person fragile to begin with so now they are sobbing? or what? Hmmm. Well it was a pretty good poem. A little short and left some prolly important details out.
~Kristie -
what are those things that can reduce a person to Fragile?
~Kate -
beautifully done
These words apply on so many very different levels. I have felt these words as a child and recently as an adult. Odd how thes ties of grief and pain can transcend all ages? Thank you so very much for the kind words on my poem about my father. -
Just one thing before I start, shouldn't that be "foetal" in the first line? If not then sorry for questioning you. But I liked this, it was a truely sad poem. I do hope this is not how you're feeling right now though, because that'd be awful. Nice poem, well done.
-
fantastic
I really like this alot. It does leave the reader to decide what has happened here. As a medic I know only a few things that can put a person in this shape. It is truly heartbreaking when I see somone reduced to "Fragile"
PS Thanks for your comments on my poem. -
I've been there quite a few times in my life. There seem to be moments like eternity when all is silent pain, far beyond tears. This is not a place to live one's life out, but it does seems to open one's ability to care for others more deeply. Peace Through Love. ET
-
shit girl... *shudder* I was doing that saturday night... scared of so much right now that it's not even funny anymore... this is great though. bravo hun
-
i was thinking about rape
~Kate -
Great
Wow. This is very sad. There are so many possibilities why you are whimpering in a ball and I love that you let the readers mind create reasons why and stuff. Very cool. I like stuff like that. Great job. Keep writing. BYE! -
That's quite the sad image you put out there, interesting write, leaves the readre with lots of feelings and questioning why this person felt this way.
Nice write.
-
Wow, this is kool. It could mean so many things. Awesome!
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
3 old applause
