This stage was meant for grand performances
masterpieces
that fulfilled its potential.
But it stands empty
month after month
year after year
waiting for the production
of an act that never comes.
The curtains have begun to tatter
and the scaffolding to sag.
But the arena was built to withstand time
and hunger still echoes in wings.
She dreamed of nurturing love here
from conception to creation.
Oh how the excitement would grow and swell
culminating in the artist's magnum opus.
She’s watched as the stage stood empty
fruitless ~ futile ~ efforts
washed away in blood.
The lights begin to dim
as she carefully sets the scene
doctors office
Woman on the table
legs spread
“I’m sorry” the doctor says
“maybe next time”
And she weeps for all the times she tried
Cries out in anguish at the injustice
“time” and “money” have run out for her.
The stage crumbles
And the curtain falls.
Patricia Gibson-Williams
Author notes
No one ever expects to deal with infertility, and when they find themselves facing years struggling to achieve what those around them sometimes do accidentally it can be heartbreaking. If it’s not obvious that the stage was a symbol for a woman’s womb then I failed with this poem. I am not quite ready to give up my hope yet, but I know that it won’t be long before time runs out for me. Thank you for reading my poem. Patti
Written December 4th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- AllWrite Magazine Poetry Contest for Adults (20 and over) February Prewrites Allowed by Runawaytrain.
300 points, ended January 21, 2005, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Excellent
This was a sad but powerful symbolism...beautifully written
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It is a great image, and the emotions are powerful... no, I just suggest deleting a few words to make the image and emotion more poignant.
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Thanks for your comments on my poem, and your suggestion for improving it. I was wondering if you are suggesting that I remove the entire stanza or just that I make it more concise? I’ve tried rereading my poem without it and I can’t see that it adds a huge amount to the piece, but I’m not sure about totally skipping the feelings altogether. I will give it more thought while awaiting your reply. Patti
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This is a tender subject, and one that I am not a complete stranger to. I have two sons, but my first son was very tried for, and we had begun to give up. I also suffered the anguish of miscarriage.
You have picked each word carefully in this. There are just a couple of places where I would suggest you trim a little bit, such as below:
curtains have begun to tatter
the scaffolding sags.
But the arena was built to withstand time
hunger still echoes in wings. -
What can I say, bravo!!! Very elegant and beautiful poem. Tragic and sorrowful excersing the emotions of this reader. Please critic a poem.
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excellent
This is a onderful poem.I REALLY ENJOYED THE READ .Thanks for the read.Write on.Jim -
WOW!
Wow, this is a fabulous work! The imagery was wonderful. I would say that you could leave out the part specifically mentioning the doctors office, just take it out. It doesn't need it. I knew halfway through what the poem was about! Wow!! -
Take heart sweet one, you are giving birth each time you pen this type piece. I know the feelings of which you write, but I have also seen the answer turn to a bitter taste in the mouth that cannot be washed or gargled away. Take life's hand dealt to you and try to be content. I keep remembering my Granny telling me, when I was still barren (oh for that peace again)
"Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it...and more".
Wonderful metaphor and wording. I like your style.
~~~POO~~~ -
Excellent!
This lament for the barren of body shows how the powers that be compensate with talents, that are displayed in your beautiful verses here.
I am over a half century in age, with no children, but that was a choice that I made many years ago. For this world is not friendly to our youth and it makes raising them more of a chore than it should be...,
I pray that some miracle comes for you to realize your dream of the pidder-padder of lil' feet.
A wonderfully sentimental piece...
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Wonderful
Where there's a will, there is a way.
Excellent read if I do say so myself. The setting is wonderful, what a perfect setting to build off of, to help explain to us how it is to feel as you do. You've channelled it divinely, thanks. Wonderful write my dear, keep penning and don't lose your will. - Cal -
ah, the barren woman. a very remarkable metaphor for the idea of a stage. you communicated it very well throughout, in so many little ways, "from conception to creation", etc, it was very beautifully written.
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Wow talk about alot of emotion put into a write. You did an excelent job at setting the stage to express the pain fortold in this write. YOu did an excelent job on this and good luck in the contest!
love and hugs
~Lena~ -
fertile grounds
ah, this is a good write about a woman's struggle with infertility i think... i love how you juxtaposed it with the image of the grand stage... it brings to mind fundamental questions of womanhood... are you a failure as a woman if you do not give birth? interesting, really interesting... and deserving applause!
keep on writing... keep on being... keep on making art... and never let your light burn out! penumbrapoet -
Thsi is an interesting poem and has great imagery.it is written as if narrating a dream to me. I'm sure that that is not actually the case inthis poem but thats what it sounds like to me! WOW, that sounded weird.Well it is a great poem adn you did a good job.
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wow...this is a very well written poem, that's for sure. Great job there!
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Superb!!
A grand tour of the 'Grand', in regal splendour did it pass its royal performance!! Great write!! -
Hm, I don't know what to say, It was great, imagery but was missing color but that is fine, i was left in a black and white image of this poem but had an image of a beautiful women that is eager to be heard or something like that.This poem had inspiration in it and was just..BEAUTIFULLY written!
-nicci
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