at approximately 8 bucks per mile
with thousands to go - a price I've paid
this train ticket is all that's left
of a place I once called home
moving away and moving on
remembering all my belongings
scattered on the lawn
the seats aren't that bad
and eurotrip glorified trains - tunnels as well
who knew this would be the toughest day
3 quarters away from an unknown destination
she came into my nook
a hearty smile was all it took
to heal my inibitions and revive my livestock
half way through the shaky ride - (now I was gettin nervous)
my coffee spilt onto my lap
burning sensations liberating
if it was hot chocolate
my balls would be marshmellows
she sat across from me
never lifting her eyes from the book
except when the dessert tray was brought in
she asked for branmuffins...with extra cranberries
what a risk taker
under another tunnel
a long long never ending darkness
my chance was now
she couldn't possibly be reading
so I moved across and sat directly next to her
she sensed me,
I sensed her - felt her feeling me
our lips met
our hands roamed
I could barely see her-
but I'll never forget what I felt
after our tunnel of love arrived at the next station
SHE WAS A HE!!!
Author notes
I thought this would be weird but found a way to put my own spin on it. I'm a girl so this obviously isnt from my view or about me.
fun to make stuff up isnt it Fluggenmuffin?
Written December 4th, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
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It would be rather odd for a heterosexual man to be on a train, happily fooling around with a beautiful woman in the dark, only to find out that what he thought was a beautiful woman is actually a man.
At least the character in your poem could feel like he had tried something new. Expanding his knowledge about his own sexuality.
This is very humorous, adding to the odd and strange things that people experience everyday. Finding out a she is a he or even finding out that a he is a she.
It all happens and quite often, it's just that people don't talk about it as often as it occurs.
I don't really have any critical objections to speak of about this piece, mostly because it is more centered around humor than, let's say, a poem about losing a limb in a train accident or something of that nature.
Definitely interesting and perfectly categorized. This poem is weird, but it is also wonderfully fun.
much love,
James
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Oh my kryspin what a personal spin you did put on this indeed!LOL You are just to much my fine poet friend, gots me laughing so bad I gots to wee! LOL I can see more and more you have quite the creative devilish mind. Excellent creativity and good luck to you in the contest!
~Nikki~ -
hmmmm. very interesting an funny. good luck.
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