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Tomorrow




Tomorrow I’ll give up

Hope...


I’ll let it fall through my fingers

to rain upon the barren ground of my dreams.

I’ll watch it seep

into cracks and fissures

knowing that nothing will mend the fractures

or fill the hollows.


I’ll scoop up dust with moist hands

and ruthlessly scrub away

every vestige of desire.


I’ll leave this place ~ alone

while the desolate winds of loss howl

sweeping across sterile sands .


I’ll journey through fallow fields

seek refuge among unfruitful trees

lost in the desert of despair.


I know there is nothing left for me here

but still; I take a last sip of life giving waters,

I weep droplets of anguish,

as they splash against my empty womb.


There is no succor found in the searching seed

I know in my heart

that this body will never harbor love.


…and tomorrow

I’ll give up hope




Patricia Gibson-Williams

December 3, 2004

Author notes

"Heather is changing"
Written December 3rd, 2004

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 13 of 13
  • Lil Wolfie
    December 16, 2004
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    Wow. Again. Your poetry is amazing and has such feeling in it. This is wonderful. I love it.

  • Amour Sanglant
    December 4, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Wow.
    I wrote a poem called tomorrow,
    I was pretty proud of it.
    until now.
    yours is AMAZING.


  • bleedingheart08
    December 4, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I must agree, perfect imagery(it's early in the morning so sorry if the spelling is not correct) However, I'm only 15 lol therefore I took this differently as to others. But now that I read what it's actually about, that's so sad and unfortunate. Not to mention true? This has touched my heart on so many levels you just have no idea. If I had known what it was about while I read it, it probably would have brought a tear to my eye. Anyways, this was terrific.

    Heather


  • starvingawarhol
    December 4, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    wonderfully done. I know it is not a hopeful poem, but at the same time.. I don't feel hopeless at the end. I'm moved by these affects this peice has had upon me.


  • branwen
    December 4, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    This was incredibly beautiful....I'm moved. wow


  • aslanlight
    December 4, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Aaahh really moving, I hate to see anyone give up hope.


  • tearsofmistery
    December 4, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    spectacular!! i must say it's an emotional sad poem ... my favorite part is : "I know there is nothing left for me here


    but still; I take a last sip of life giving waters,


    I weep droplets of anguish,


    as they splash against my empty womb."

    u really know how to express ur feelings all way through .. so nice peice .. and keep on the good work..
    *mohamad*


  • Cold-Hearted Angel
    December 4, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I'm with rabbit, I was drawn in but it didn't competely hook onto my thoughts. I read it for the fact that I was curious as to what this poem was about. I have to say that the first time through, it lost me but I almost cried after I got it. I myself have to see a doctor soon about me not being able to have babies just because i'm might not be fertal... I'm hoping this not be so because I someday wish to have a family. I like that you wrote on such a touchie subject. And though people may think these are things we don't wanna see, it's exactly what we wanna see. This is life, we want to hear more about it. Nice work here.

    -Kayla


  • ricochet rabbit
    December 4, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    As I was reading this poem in my hammock, I was struck by your creative phrasing and the ability to draw me in. Yet, despite all that, somehow this piece misses the mark. Yes, you have a lot of imagination, and you turn a good phrase. You see, there was a lot of nuance and gravy in this piece. However, there was nothing solid for me to sink my teeth into. I found it very up in the air, and very ethereal. Ethereality is okay when you are not seeking to be profound, but if you are talking about a deep topic, it doesn't help. Just adding in my two cents.

    ricochet rabbit
    president
    hammock school of literary criticism


  • AngelSeeker silver member
    December 4, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for pointing that out, I fixed it. Patti

  • AngelSeeker silver member
    December 3, 2004
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    Yes that is exactly what it's about. I really feel for you, but sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't have been better not to spend so many years hoping for something that has never happened. Maybe I would have adopted. Soemtimes hope seems like a cruel joke. It's almost too late for me and I just found out that I have an infection that you get from cat's that will likely delay our trying for another 2-6 months. Even now the Dr has told me that since I'm over 40 the chances are only so-so... and I'm not sure I can take the sorrow every month any longer. Thank you for your reply, and I hope you find a child to love, remember that you don't have carry a child in your womb, just in your heart. Patti


  • Harpagonis
    December 3, 2004
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    Good

    The imagry is excellent and really gave a great sound and feel to the poem. Very sad indeed, though it still seems to fit the contest guidelines. I think my only discrepency is that you spelled "through" as "thru." I know it's really not a huge deal, but the rest of the poem seems really serious and using shorthand kind of threw me off. Other than that, a good write. Keep it up! Good luck in the contest.

  • PerfectStranger
    December 3, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this poem put tears in my eyes. I hope I got the meaning of this poem right. At the end it seemed like you were writing about never being able to bare children? Am I correct? If I am then that is the reason I got tears in my eyes. I'm 18 and cant have children either due to an emergancy hysterectomy. Great write..

1 - 13 of 13