Distance is the bitch
that stole you away from me...
I imagine -
Our story is made mostly
of sentences ending
not in
period
but in question marks
(My question marks)
That should be good, as a period seems fatal
and these questions? A continuity -
Only, answers are ever evasive,
and delayed further by a jungle of
commas, ellipses...
Ah, we just found ourselves,
once again, in a
[pause]
Author notes
Written December 2nd, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Great.
Very good. I love the style, the poem is not so much about the words but how it is expressed. Great job, I'll have to see more of your poems especially if they all are this good. -
A [pause] is the language of secrets,
The soul in wanting,
Of dainty winged feet,
To fly.
The period is but.
A circle of truths.
The dictator of stops.
That makes the heart.
Shout in rebellion.
Move on!
Something technical:
not in
[ period] - needs an s
but in question marks
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loved this.and having survived a 5yr long ditance rel. i can definitely relate with all the punctuations u used!lovely poem.
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wow, I don't know what to say. I loved the conclusion. And the idea of questions (your questions, haha) providing the continuity of your relationship. This one was great, both in concept and style.
Keep writing
Kannika -
good poem. I like languages, and I absolutely love how you played around with it.
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ooooh, me likey *nods* yeaps, me likey very muchly. seriously though, you did a great job with this, and i really liked the ending. your a great writer, and i hope that you will continue to grace Ap with your skillful writes. thanks muchly
----Shady
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jeez.. you guys are all great writers here. saw your name at tatak pinoy, clicked and found this poem. awesome really! nakaka-bilib talaga. being in a long distance friendship/realationship(?) myself, all i'd say is, you captured raw emotions beautifully with commas and pause.
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CRAZY awesome!! i am going through a long distance relationship right now, and i like to think of it as a PAUSE... because i think we are meant to spend alot of time together one day. i love how you tied in the theme grammatical things like periods and commas into a love poem, one of my faves!
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Hey girl. It's been foever! What's up?
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Very interesting theme!
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Very imaginative write,great use of imagery!
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Sis this is wonderful. You did an excellent job on this. Sorry I didn't comment sooner... but uh AP didn't let me know
Beautiful poem 
~~Jessica Erin
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hahaha wow that's so damn cool!! It looked cool it sounded cool YAY PUNCUATIONS! You did a fantabulous job there mate! Good luck in teh contest!
-April
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great stuff
OoooooOO nice.. For very few words, you definately got the message across to me. It's something I've totally felt before, and you added so much personality to your words... also, the [pause] at the end is incredibly clever.. definately a good one. -
Woa, I felt this way a little while ago in a long distance relation ship, loved the ending with the Pause. This was alittle angery rather than sad though..which is cool. I don't know what to say, I mean this poem-i read it with a angry tone in my voice not just a bold reading, it was the rhyming and your words, how you began it was "i hate this shit..!!" attitude, and then you explained why and i love the metaphors with your question mark scheme and so on. i loved this alot!! you have no idea
-nicci
by the way, good luck!!!!!!! -
I think you did a great job here, a great idea to play around with and turn into this. Beautiful.
Edited on Dec 04, 4:20 p.m. because ''. -
Great write, I like the detail and the word choice.
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As I was reading this poem in my hammock, I couldn't help but feel like this was a job well done. Look, I am giving you applause for your efforts. We here at the hammock school like to point out to works like this as a beautiful exercise in brevity and precision. The last word was cherry on top. But what made this work downright beautiful was your ability to convey to me an emotion that seeped through every single verse. Poems like these do not come along often. Let it be known that you have now become infamous in the hammock school.
ricochet rabbit
president
hammock school of literary criticism -
Ang galing
natatameme na naman ako
[pause]
like in the ending i am...
this is so imaginative
i wouldn't make sense even if
I could scrounge all the superlatives
I could use.
amazed by all these -
whoa...just whoa...
this is SO NEAT. -
True word art!
Beautiful poem and stunning application of word art. This is my kind of poetry - imaginative with great metaphors - it leaves the reader wondering...pausing! A friend directed me to this poem (said it reminded him of my own poetry, lol) and I am so glad I've decided to check it out! Yes, I have written a poem along the same lines ("so you ask me then:")...about questions and punctuations too - yours are just beautiful and very creative! I find myself in a pause reading this...catching my breath! Great piece of art!
~ Nicolette
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WOW! This was awesome. I loved it. I dont know if maybe I got the wrong message from it, but what I got was maybe an online relationship of some sorts? If that is the case then yes, I can totally relate to that. Very well written and I liked how you left it open at the end to make people think of what would have come next. This deserves and applause!
Adding your comment:
1 - 22 of 22
20 old applause
