White knuckles, clenching fists
Night demons, slitting wrists
Jagged pills, muffled cries
Fading will, no goodbyes
Distant hopes, dying dreams
Endless tears, soul redeems
Broken life, falling fear
Wasted days, death is near
Bad memories, feelings torn
Hopeless love, heartache born
One more slice, two more pills
Praying for the one that kills
Nowhere to run, no place to hide
Reeling thoughts of suicide
For those I hurt, I apologize
But truly, my life, I despise
I want to thank you for all you gave
But, I am the one that could not be saved
Goodbye....
Author notes
OK- Please don't judge me if you don't know me!! - I am posting this at the request of my counselor. I wrote this the day I tried to kill myself. So, don't think this is something I just came up with. I am on my way to getting better. Thanks to you all for your support.
"18"
Written December 2nd, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
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Passionate.
This is a feeling that I know all too well and you've expressed it with so much feeling and power.
The lines
"One more slice, two more pills
Praying for the one that kills"
Are not only memorable but captivating.
Good luck with everything.
You are an amazing writer.
-Aura -
I hope all is better for you
Wow this is deep....life is very frustrating... I hope you recover and find the strength to not let it get the best of you.
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Amazing!
This is beautifully written. Well done!
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WOW
this comes from the heart my dear, i've attempted myself more than once and i do feel you pain and am myself on the road to recovery. I'm so very glad to hear that you are as well. I hope all goes well for you. And if you ever need to talk i am here to listen...Good luck on your journey and find your happiness.
with love,
B
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brill
you are really good at this plz write more -
wow, what a powerful emotional piece, good to hear your on the road to recovery, hope all is going well
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it's very powerful and i'm reeling in emotion. i'm glad you wrote it. your an amazing writer keep it up.
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absolutely breath taking
its amazing
im so glad ur counsellor made you write it, coz its so true and honest and it says exactly how you felt.
i dont know hoe ppl could judge you.
coz they should shut their mouth about things they dont understand.
im glad you wrote it and i feel the same xx
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brave
Good to see that you're still here. The poem itself is therapeutic, which, in my opinion, takes it out of the realm of literary criticism. Smiley-faced applause seems inappropriate, but you have my sympathy for your pain and my admiration for not choosing to die. -
Great
The emotion in your poem is almost tangible. Nicely written.
It's easier too write about something you have felt isn't it? I had an anxiety attack and I found it was really easy to write about. Check it out sometime. It's called anxiety (I know really original name)
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man wow your brave cause if i would have wrote goodbye i would have gave up
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As if it came from my own mouth
I have depression. And I know exactly how it feels to be suicidal, on the edge. This poem was like my thoughts on a page. It was beautifully written and really powerful at getting the emotions across. I loved it. -
OMG OMG OMG OMG
Lol.. jk
Very powerful extremely well flowing poem you have here! Its amazing!
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WOW - Just - WOW
I'm glad I did read the authors note else I would be in a panic. This was very powerful and heart wrenching at the same time. Great job!
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this is insanely good. i think most of today's society has been there at least once. anyways, good write and glad to hear you are getting better
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this is really good!
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i commend you for being able to post something like this after going through it...i've written poems in a similar fashion but i've never even though about following through; i wrote it just to write. but you lived through it. you survived. i only judge you on the fact that you are a very brave person.
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i wont jugde you.
and your stronger than i am to post something like this, im not sure what i would have done.
and im totally glad that your way to getting better
because you are a great writer
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Open and honest
I do judge you , yet I don't know you.
I judge you to be stronger than I am.
It takes a mountain of courage to post something like this and an ocean of strength to recover from a suicide attempt.
I wish you the best! -
First suicide poem that didn't make me want to vomit in disgust. Seems to me you have a real talent. Not for suicide (You're still here. XD), but for poems. I was simplistic and I enjoyed it. Prolly because it was honest, unlike most of the garbage that I read. Good luck on getting better.
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Wow, I am so touched,moved,and admire your strength and courage to share this.But know this,YES,you CAN be saved,by only,Gods saving grace!
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Wonderful poem! I am glad you are on the road to recovery!
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Wow. That was really good. I hope you get well soon. Stay strong. x.
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no judgements..i loved this! i wish you the best of luck at getting better.
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i know how you feel.
this poem is really good and i hope you get better, i know its hard, but im holding on and so should you !!! -
EXSELENT!
i loved it
D
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my god.....i must say i know how you feel....i really do hope you're better.....theres so much in there though its not too long it tells a whole lot....its the best suicide note i've ever read haha (don't worry thats a compliment)
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Amazing......just wow. It is hard to put in words how good this is. I understand where you are I am still on the line seperateing there and gone. I love how emotional this poem is and how, even though you said it was not just something you wrote, it ryhmes. It goes to show that at anytime a poem can be formed and make the whole world stare in awe.
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wow. that is amazing.
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breathtaking.
Im spechless.
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this is a very emotional poem, as times like those are very emotional times. i am going through a similar time in my life right now and i just wanted to let you know that you poem has helped me think things again. your poem deserves every clapper given. thank you for sharing this wonderful poem.
-stitched
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Well written
My first impression was of someone in pain, with such a write I cannot point out a favorite , as it has an overwhelming powerful message . I have attempted this myself and also write of it, needs no revision ... speaks volumes.
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Fantastic!
Eerily familiar, is all I can say. Your counselor was / is a very wise individual. My heart and soul cried out for you, with every painful line... -
wow... this is one of the most powerful pieces that i have ever read. Great job and I am glad that you are on the road to recovery.
♥ meg
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i dont know why im so drawn to people who are troubled like this. but im finding myself intantly in love with you... in a 'ireadyourpoemandaminexplainablydrawntotheidea' kind of way.
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its very deep, thank you for posting this , sometimes its hard to bear true feelings like that, I'm glad to hear that you are getting better and actively seeing a counselor, depression is a hard cycle to get out of I've had my own bouts with it before myself
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love it
been there!!!!
tryed that!!!!
didnt work my boyfriend called at the time i was trying and he talked me out of it...thank god that he di -
thank you.
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i'm glad you're getting the support you need, i used to be suicidal too until i lost my grandmother and i realised how much pain that my death would cause those i love, today i attended her husbands (my poppys) funeral and the pain was just as bad, if not worse, now i hope i never forget how painful it was so i can spare the ones i love the pain that they would go through, it's not only your parents or friends or boyfriend/girlfriend ir sibling that i or anyone else would hurt by committing suicide but you forget about the other people, more people care about you than you realise, please remember that, best of luck for the future
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Wow, Amazing. Sure makes you feel something, thank you.
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Wow, been there, written something like that.
Such emotion!
Great piece!!!
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Emotional
Don't get me wrong, but this is one of the best "suicidal/dark" poems I've ever read.....and I'm not saying that like suicide's a good thing, I'm just saying there's a lot of emotion here and it made a truly sad, depressing, yet beautiful piece of poetry. And I definitely think it will help other people in the same situation because it's something those people can relate to. Kudos to you for having the courage to confront your demons and get help! Glad to hear you're doing better! Amazing write, thanks for sharing, it was very brave!! -
great
this was really good and very helpful 4 me because i hae the same types of thoughts -
That was interesting. I like this poem. It gets into the mind of the cutter. this poem stirs up a bunch of mixed emotions for me. I love it but it was definitely hard to read. However I really like it and don't give up on your talent.
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anyone who would offer judgment in the first place ought to be seeing someone for help themselves. your write is full of saddness and pain. it took more courage than i have to post this and i hope that it serves the purpose your counselor is wishing for. glad that you are still here to read this comment. viyanna rosemarie
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I have been there. Most of my poetry here is related to therapy... writing can be very healing. I hope your feeling a little better. If you ever need to chat, just pm me..
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wow, touching and painful to read. this is dreadfully beautiful, i am glad that you are getting better, it would be a shame to lose someone with talent like yours.
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touching
this is amazing and something i can totaly relate to. i wrote a poem the night i tried to kill myself too. im glad your recovering hope you keep on getting better xxxx -
This hit home.
I've once felt this way before..
I'm glad you're recovering.
fantastic write, deep, touching. -
WOW...
i love it i have resantly started seeing a counsleor myself...when i was reading this it was like you were reading my mind...=]...i love it...
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that was amazing!
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wow! intense!
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Touching
This is very good, deep and touching.
I think alot of people has been to that place, the strong and loved ones will come through.
Keep it going, you can over come whatever it is as long as you believe in yourself. And with talent like this, you have every reason to feel good about you.
Take care x
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I'm glad you've since gotten help. For a poem written in such a time, it's decent... and it resonates, especially for me, since I've been there, too.
Stay well!
-Cristina -
good
honestly awesome please continue writing i look forward to reading more of your work
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amazing!
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holy shit... this is amazing!! your rhyming was dead on and i loved how it flowed.
i'm definitely adding you as one of my favorites.
can't wait to read more of your work.
keep it up!
(if you need someone to talk to, i'm always here)
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nice write:-)
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i know how u feel i tried a lot of times to kill myself 4 the people i hurt in the past and i still have those thoughts sometimes but u did a great job by getting help and u did a hell of a job by expressing your thoughts and feelings through your poem
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amazing
I know how it feels to be at that point in your life..I've been there myself,and I have tried to kill myself that way...but then my little brother woke up right before i was going to cut my wrists.The next day I got help and I'm glad that you are too. -
i cant pick a fav line!! they all are perfect
nothing here is excess
i dont kno y this popped out at me
"One more slice, two more pills
Praying for the one that kills" -
wow well i hope wen u get better u can still write like this (note: im not encouraging anything here plz do get better)
excellent applause times a million
i LOVE it
thrilling
beautiful
enchanting
i dont kno wat else to say
but i felt it
i felt this
its just wow -
very good
Im glad you are getting better it would have been a terrible thing to lose someone who is so passionate
welcome back into the yes sometimes harsh real world
nevertheless it life is all we know for sure
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Increable
glad to hear your getting better
wish you all the best with your recovery
keep writing
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Yea...I understand. That's the first step. You know, getting everything off your chest. You're in my prayers.
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Yes...I get it. I know of these emotions and regardless of the critiques, it becomes much more meaningful when you've walked this path. I know this was written sometime back, but I hope you are doing better now. Blessed be.
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I have written similiar poems of suicide. I didn't let anyone see them because I was afraid of what they would think of me. I'm glad you are getting better and the help you need. One day you will realize that there is something worth living for.
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wow and i mean, great rymneing scheme
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...beautiful...
...I've tried to kill myself w/a gun, Aspirin pills, a razor, a knife, and even tried to hang myself... I'm so weak I want to die... Like any other teen, I wear a mask at school and even at home w/family, but take it off when I'm alone... I've been abandoned by friends and my own blood father time and time again... My last boyfriend used my body and I thought he loved me whereas my last girlfriend and I barely even touched each other, nonetheless spoke of our feelings... I still want to die... But only because now, I'm lashing out at everyone just to make myself know that they can feel pain and that I can't... I like this and you should know that; not because I want you to know this, but because it's the TRUTH...! -
I hope you don't decide to kill yourself. A long time ago a friend of my mom had troubles with his life and his parents didn't not even his friends knew. Then one day the guy opened up his window he went on top of his balcony then he jumped and died! So I'm glad that you aren't like my mom's friend and you are getting some help.
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Simply amazing, I can defiantly relate to what you are going through. I admire your courage for posting this. Good luck with feeling better.
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Thank You
I can definatly relate to you. Thanks for being couragious enough to post this. you are a hero in your own right.
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Great
This is a brilliant poem, there really aren't any awkward parts except for lines fifteen and sixteen, but they're only one syllable off. You're an amazing poet, I can relate to this poem, but I'd never be able to depict it as good as you. I hope you get better. Sincerely, Celeste.
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this is really magnificent.feel people soon,keep your chin up.
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Am so sorry.This is really sad.
I am so happy you are getting better.
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wow this is really amazing
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I think your emotions and what you were going through at this moment when others read this that are feeling the same thing will want to get some help.I have tried suicide before and felt the exact same way.Other people need to read this so that they know what a person is going through in their thought process so that maybe they can see the signs happening insomeone else and reach out and take their hand to help them.I hope that you are doing better and my prayers are with you.
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holy shit girl you are good
wow all i can say is amazing
wow great poem i love it -
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thank you soo much that means alot to me
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You wrote this on my birthday.
Just wanted to say that I've written on this topic alot and couldnt have done better with a lifetime of practice. Bravo, I give you five weird little clappy yellow thingies!!! -
Amazing. Beautiful.
So much emotion.
I loved it... Keep writing.
-Aura
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Continue to write...I'm sure this has inspired many & will continue to. Good luck to you.
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fantastic...
nice poem... have a goo life.. good luck -
great
this is amazing and dont worry i kno the feeling i wrote a suicide note to the day i tryed to kill myself im in recovery as well your and insperation keep up the good writing and good luck with feeling better
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Good luck to you... maybe you can inspire me to change...
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it was so good, i cant find the words
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i think the topic of suicide an slitting wrists is becoming more and more popular among teens and young adults....i myself have experienced it _ as well as many of my friends
i love your poem an think you have a wonderful peice or work here -
I know its been a long time since you wrote this, and maybe you aren't even checking reviews anymore, but it has a big emotional impact on me. I really hope you are doing well, sweetie. It's never worth ending your life, things can always get better...trite but true...
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"I want to thank you for all you gave"
Welcome back to Sunshine, Hope and Life...
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Beutiful, It gets better I promise. Well done for being in therpy, its the best thing you will ever do.
~K~
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This was a wonderful poem that could bring a person to tears. It's a miracle from God that we still have a poet as talented as yourself here with us. If you come up with any poetry on a happier note about your life, then please send them to me. I'd love to hear from you.
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It good to be able to read this and
know that there is a happy ending to it
ever one once of twice in there life has maybe
become tired of fighting and has thought of ending it but the best thing is that you found the courage it took to get help not many do. thank for sharing this part of you wiht us here at ap best of luck in all that you do
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I understand the emotions and sentiments in this and I do, like others who've commented, relate to this poem. Having nowhere to run - no body to turn to - and feeling...completely unable to deal with your own mind.....I think you did an incredible job.
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"For those I hurt, I apologize
But truly, my life, I despise"
^ Whoa ! i know the feeling.
i hope everything is better for you
now. -
i hope that by now you are better. it's a long journey.
Monica <3
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why would i judge you, ive had friends who have attempted, and completed suicide, this really touched me, i want to thank you for that.
Suicide can really affect people, just remember no matter where you go, or what you do, there will always be people out there who love you and care for you deeply... you also got all of us here, keep up the good work
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Actually I've tried too. I wouldn't judge you. It was an amazing poem, and you could tell that it had SO much emotion.
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This is one of the most powerful writes I have ever read. I know exactly where your coming from with this, I think everyone has been there at one time for another. Most people just wont admitt it though, it takes courage for you to put this out there and allow people to read your most personal thoughts. I applaud you for that. I hope you are well on your way to recovery. You have an amazing talent that I am extremely jealous of. I wish you all the best!
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Wow...this is a very powerful poem, and one of the best-written suicide notes I have ever laid my eyes upon! It had rhythm, flow...such beauty born of such pain!...I am truly impressed. I'm glad you are getting better; depression is never good. Yay for poetry and perserverance!!! Dang, I wish there were more applauds available for me to give...
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