the sky-- bruised
black and blue-- is
ready to loose
her torrent.
i run under her
battered atmosphere
of acidic tears,
clutch my coat
close, hurry to
miss her breakdown.
we used to pray for rain.
she used to cry for joy.
Author notes
Written November 30th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
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I like the seemingly incogruency of the last two sentences. They're kind of opposites. I love all the appocalytpic weatherish imagery in the first stanza. The 'acid tears' is good, it seemed a little off to me at first, but it works really well in the whole weathery context.. anywho, good poem. Almost elegant in its pessimism.
hannah -
I really liked this poem, there's nothing I would fix about it. The flow had a nice feel to it, I loved the choppiness of it and the world choices were excellent.
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that's funny just a minute ago I used the word torrent (torrential), I like the ending a lot, great subject to write on and very well put, so many possible allegories
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Intersting angle to look at this from, i like it alot especially the- 'acidic tears' bit.
Thanx for sharing,
jessiKa
xxx
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