the moth died as moths die:
soundless and unnoticed
i picked it up from your book
~ this promising pencilled phrase ~
and translated its lightness
with palm and fingers
i was not disillusioned:
death is charitable in its sharing
of open secrets
i turned it over
this paper-dry memory
of light turned shadow:
its hidden glamor suddenly bared
orange heart
defoliated
orange wings
half~opened
no
half~closed
orange eyes
reading my astonishment
your book now closed
no
open:
shades of gray
myra
2002
Author notes
A colourless moth radiating orange in its death ... lying upon Mike River's book of poetry, titled Shades of Gray, that he sent me as a gift ...
Written August 9th, 2002
A contest entry
- The Natural World: In Honor of AsIThink by hawkeslake.
1050 points, ended January 3, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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You did a wonderful job of layering this with rich imagery. The life of a moth, huh? (or all of us...). What a great opening:
"the moth died as moths die:
soundless and unnoticed" ... that almost sent a shiver down my mind. Only matched by this part (to me): "i turned it over
this paper-dry memory". Very well done.
AsIThink...
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Thank you so much for my HM ...
and for the points in your contest. It was such a joy to enter.
Love
Myra
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Hello myrataal, hope you're well. Just wanted to redirect the credit to "hawkeslake". The contest was her's (she was holding it with me in mind though - smiling). But I did enjoy your piece.
AsIThink...
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Such light and enlightenment! Thank you for entering.
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this really is amazing..
i love how your eyes found inspiration, and the way your mind has brought about the images. it's a pretty shocking sight though. yet i love the metaphor of the moth that always flutters around light, but now lies in shadows..
brilliantly penned.
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neutral
This was good, I am startled to say I can't describe what I feel.. -
Ah Zinn ... Death ... shadows ... may reveal Light ... and you noticed that ... thank you.
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don't touch it!
this was wonderful myra...you paint such a picture w/your words...this piece is light and airey as a moth--although about a subject most find dark ...wonderful...: ) -
Mike ... you are special; your book is special ... the moth is special ... the m.OMEN.t was special ... Thanks for reading me.
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neutral
Indeed Myra, there is an omen, a presage... a something in this??? The book, Shades of Gray, as I say in the forward, deals with death and vulnerability. You are a much deeper person than I am, with your Rumi-like weltanshauung (sp?)... you've found something in this moth and it's resting place, my book.
Thank you for sharing it.
Mike -
OH JOY@Mushika LOL
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Thank you Tamara, for your kind words.
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Thank you for commenting, Patrice ... smiles ... I do.
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neutral
oh boy -
don't touch it!
how glorious our life is, the spendar to see what no one else may see in our big world, you take time to make a significant point upon a small creature.... -
neutral
it comes from reading words like yours that releases the spark, (a repairing) and maybe for a brief moment I know that I know.
this one is still inside, but if you like, you will be the first to see it. -
Pataliyah, did you write a poem about that sudden voice and your
'arisen' father? That is the most awesome material for poetry. Poetry is given to one on a plate. There is no such thing as 'writers block' ... the ability to abstract music and marvel from mediocre moments must be practised by using all the senses every moment of the day ... and bringing it into relation with the carefully filed memory ...
Thank you for your kind words ... -
don't touch it!
many months after my father died, I quite by accident found a tape recording he had made a few years earlier..so diconcerting to suddenly hear that voice again...that is what came to mind when i read this tonight, Myra
as always, your words ring with Spirit and Beauty and stir my heart.
Edited by Pataliyah on Aug 10 because 'cause my little stubby fingers can't type'. -
Andrew, thank you for the comment ... Death is but the door to the Beginning ...
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Thank you, Chris ... yes, it is meaningful in its completeness and its stillness.
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don't touch it!
I wonder, what colour shall I radiate in my death?
I felt so much in this poem, I don't quite know what to say.
It is sad, as death usually is, but this gives the feeling it died happy.
Andrew -
excellent
what a great way you have of showing that something, such as a moth, even has substance ... and merit ... excellent! :-)
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