coiled metals
memory of where they were
spring
Author notes
Interesting that the more memory (coils) contained in a spring, the greater the resistance to distortion, and the longer its life.
Note: Reword edit to revert to conventional 'phrase/fragment' technique (11-23)
[For further interest: www.haikupoetshut.com/isithaiku.html ]
Written November 22nd, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Ok so I am coming to this months later... I love randomly visiting poems.
I have no idea what any of the earlier versions of this may have said, but I like the final product.
It is interesting though how like people if springs are stretched too far theya re never able to return to their original form. If they stay stretched for too long they may stay that way forever.
I like the idea that you have presented here. I always know that you will give me pause to think. Maybe taht is why I can only read you when I am fully awake!
Susan -
Great haiku, I loved it
Fantastically written and beautiful, keep writing because this was excellent
All the best,
Pozo
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Thank you, Kristen! The irony of this is I've been trying to 'bend' this one into shape for a while (it's had a few revisions), but it just keeps 'springing' back to what I thought was still awkward
. Some I'm happy with; others I wrestle into some kind of submission. I'm pleased you think I've 'won' with this! 
~ G
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How strange it is that we apply such an anthropomorphic term as "memory" to a spring! It seems more like a habit than a memory! What an interesting point of view. There is something about a well written Haiku that I just love.
Bravo Bella!
Kristen
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Terrific .Loved every word
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Thank you, Mari!
I'm still unsure if I've got the wording in this one just the way I want it yet, but I'm glad the point is clear.
~ G
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Strange how inanimated subjects can do better in that matter than many humans do. So many forget who they were before they became who they are now.
This is indeed an excellent haiku, very profound and true!
Kisses,
Mari
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Thank you, Margaret You are right, if it's not working it still needs work. I really appreciate your feedback as it is not only helpful but I can always trust your honesty.
~ G
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I'm really not one to critique haiku, because I totally overlooked the "break" that you once told me is part of the form. This one is better in that way, though "return" is not working for me. It seems to require an action.
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Thank you, Ann! I've actually reworded my experimental technique to be more 'haiku-like'..."always tweaking", remember?
~ G
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This is a great piece and makes one think...yes it is true when a sping has held it's position for a period of time, it becomes more flexable or weakens and yes memeory, lol Great job!
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Thank you Margaret! Great comment
Yes, if we only accept that we can remember where we were 'stamped' into being, our life would 'conduct' the Spirit more effectively.
~ G
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Thought provoking
I watched a documentary about the making of bedsprings recently. They make the whole mattress frame out of ordinary wire, and then they temper it with heat and cold. After that, the springs "remember" the shape they were in at that time. It is quite amazing that metals have this property. The chemical nature of metal is one amorphous molecule, with electrons freely circulating, which is why it is a great electrical conductor. Enough about metal.
To me, this is an interesting senryu, because if metals and ordinary objects have a kind of memory, then our place in the universe is different from one in which they do not. It behoves us to use our gifts wisely.
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1 - 13 of 13
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