I didn't want to fall in love
but it was to strong to battle
You didn't want to either
but you couldn't resist holding me tightly.
At night our breath rhythmically flows
down the others curves,
hair can't help but stand on end;
We move closer for warmth.
In the morning a semi-conscious smile
is delicately painted across the others face,
softly kiss the collar bone to awaken sleepy eyes
that brings a rare heartbeat
we can only beat together.
Author notes
I'm going through a thing right now, with these kinds of poems. I hope you all enjoy them, comments are appreciated because I think this one still needs some fixing up. Thanks
Sinceritamente,
Venomous 
oh yea, any title suggestions??
Written November 22nd, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Finally a GREAT one
I enjoyed the feeling of this one profusely... great write...
The lust of romance and dire need of love... Intoxicating! -
A very sweet piece. I've been there, and you're right, it is too hard a battle to win. I really liked this, you did a fine job
-
First stanza second line, wouldn't it be too strong? In the next line your missing a comma at the end.
"We move closer for warmth." I didn't feel like this line went with the rest of the stanza. Maybe something like at the closeness of our touch or something.
Other then those few things the poem was great. I loved reading it and it brought wonderful imagery before my eyes. -
Wow.. it's so romantic and beautiful. that happens sometimes.. you fall for someone you didn't want to, only subconsiously. I think this is a great poem, it's so beautiful and sweet.
Natasha -
These two stanzas were particularily beautiful:
At night our breath rhythmically flows
down the others curves,
hair can't help but stand on end;
We move closer for warmth.
In the morning a semi-conscious smile
is delicately painted across the others face,
softly kiss the collar bone to awaken sleepy eyes
that brings a rare heartbeat
we can only beat together.
I know how it feels....it's wonderful to be in love, give yourself to that person, and then wake up to their warm embrace and greetful kiss....especially when you know it is something that the two of you will do for the rest of your life. It's something quite beautiful. Great job expressing it...I love your use of words. Bravo! -
this was maginificant work, i loved it all the way, the style and form was amazing.... good job once again
love,
Dara -
Simply beautiful
great work
I loved it, you should thinkof entering my contest, see if you can win Stay in touch, comment myb poems i'll comment yours.
P.s.don't foret to look at my poems so i can comment someof yours ok?
-H.Trueblues -
Wow, I like the title as a matter of fact Cool write- keep writing because this was romantic and unlike lots of romantic poems I could feel the love Beautiful write, thanks for commenting on mine I liked your analysis
All the best,
Pozo
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this was very beautiful-i've never read a love poem like this one! this was great-i'm glad i clicked to find such romantic and wonderful words. this poem was warm and filled with true love. I honestly think this poem is great just the way it is..short and sweet like. great work!
-nicci -
I didn't want to fall in love
but it was to strong to battle
You didn't want to either
but you couldn't resist holding me tightly
two spelling corrections
it was too strong to battle
you didn't want neither
very truthful, simple, and sweet
realistic, just the simple pleasures and details in love, it's a heartwarming poem
Jen -
i actually know how you feel at this point...for i just recently fell...lol, i loved the imagery in this poem, awesome!
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