In my face
your rage cuts like a salted whip
it's all about my laziness
my fantasy
my good-for-nothing artistry,
they'll get me no where
in the courtyard
of Harvard, Yale,
or MIT.
As if the world revolves around fame.
In my heart,
I deny,
it's all about your dreams
your fantasy
your mounting expectations
piled on me.
Trapping me in midst
of the toiling sea
of your follies.
Even the most fearless man cowers before the greatest expectations.
In my life,
I strive for the best,
to be the pride and example
in every aspects of life.
Maybe I'm lost and maybe I'm scared.
Competition's but a game,
I'm the clown clawing foolishly
for that meaningless prize
atop of my pole.
In my reality,
I keep getting higher.
In my dreams,
I keep falling.
A contest entry
- Ten Choices by psycogirl15.
300 points, ended February 17, 2005, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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It was quite long...but it had a nice flow to it! Good write and good luck in the contest!
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You need to check your spelling
You can't please everybody..so ya gotta please yourself..
Thank you for entering the contest
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Very Good
Read a little Beckett, read a little Pound, read a little Hemmingway and turn yourself around! You are a GOOD poet and young enough to survive all of this. Life is fun in the end! -
thank you vert much for the comment, it hit me in the heart. I actually DO want to become "an artist barely making a living doing what they love", but I wish life were that simple.
everyone I figured had that feeling, but it's just a matter of reaching a compromise between what you have and what you need.
You can check out my art on www.strawberrypockey.deviantart.com
thanx and hugs
Jen -
man, this is definitely a top-notch piece! i wish i could write this good... it fits very well with my life and what my parents are trying to do to me. i agree completely with what you write here. parents seem to have a way of looking at 'success' in life to be measured in accomplishments and public standing. they fail to see that what we, as their children, might measure our 'success' in life by happiness and contentment with our position in this world, whether that be as a grad student of some major university with a high-profile job or an artist or musician barely making a living doing what they love. great poem, best of wishes, and keep up the good work!
~tyler
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This poem was brilliant, and your only 14, my goodness i'm still in shock, you have an amazing talent, you must never give up writing, because it would be such a shame for it to be wasted, great write, love Romanee, xx
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I've read through your poems and find them very moving, and am in awe that you could write so beautifully, and naturally. Wow. I'll be back to crit a little later.
Edited on Dec 05, 9:50 because ''. -
thanx Jess! ^_^ *hugs*
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omg i can soo relate jenny! i too am a sufferer of parents that expect the best and i somehow never fufill their expectations... lol adored the line,
'In my reality,
I keep getting higher.
In my dreams,
I keep falling.'
Keep it up gurl! **jess**
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thank you coolmommy, like the the little lyric like verse of down, down, down, pick me up, I'm falling
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This was very thoughtful and had lots of emtion and thought to this. You have a great mind, dn i hope someone picks you up soon. this was wonderful keep writing..Down, Down, Down, . Pick me up, I'm falling.."
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thatk you for your encouragement Patricia, true, the parent is the bow, the child is the arrow, the bow can aim the arrow in the direction they wamted, but the arrow has to hit the bull's eye by it self.
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Parents want so much for their children, and sometimes they push too hard. In the end, you'll be the one to set your own course in life. You sound as if you'll be the one to make your own decisions. That is an admirable trait to have that kind of strength. As for this strength at your age, you are indeed impressive. I really like this poem. Thank you for entering, and good luck to you. Hugs, Patricia
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haha...yes I am forteen and I just started writing poems recently. Thank you very much for your appreciation of my poem
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I must say....did I actually read that you are 14????? If you are then you displayed maturity beyond your years in this poem. I am impressed by your knowledge of society and also your accurate sense of emotions. Good job. Keep it up sweetie
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