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Silver overtones

Missing image


Silver whispers strength of Mercury
                            running as liquid through the veins
of man hell bent on annihilation
                      in this world of procrastination
and desecration lingering just long
                                enough to gloat over time weary
actions repeated era after era

Seriously
                   Inordinate
                                        Levels
   vying
Earnestly
                             Repeating history

As told by man....

                 In its solid state the molted metal congeals into
        weapons far subtler than the harshness of words
crafted emblems of love given with love to a love

Softness
  Tastes
    Aromatic
      Revolving
        Stars

Swift retributions delivered with the weapons
                    crafted for war symbolic of "Gods" thunderous
      in their rampage to be 
                                      


                      "Champions"

And all the while the world revolves endlessly
~
~
~
into time everlasting..........................



 

Author notes


Written November 20th, 2004

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Almighty Aphrodite gold member
    January 30, 2005
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    It took me three times to read this before I actually understood what you were trying to relate through this poem. Yes, it is a tragic fact, but it seems that no matter how many times we are sent through a lesson, we never seem to learn from history. Just the other day I was ranting to someone about how unnecessary this war (over in Iraq) is, and how it is causing nothing but carnage, bloodshed and heartache. And also, how one person can never succeed in trying to overtake the world--I wonder did President Dumbass take heed to that lesson?

    Forgive me for placing my personal thoughts here--I tend to become riled at times whenever I think about such subjects. Outside of that scope, I like how this piece is written...acrostics in the middle, then free verse all the rest of the way. This makes for an interesting format. Also, your visuals are enthralling, too...as are the (however subtle) allusions to mythology.

    A wondrous piece. Thank you for entering the contest, and good luck to you.

    Many blessings,

    Raven Aurora


  • cutiepie gold member
    January 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you.....yes sadly the world seems to keep repeating the mistakes it made eons ago..Many thanks for your kind comments, they are appreciated


  • PonderingPoetess
    January 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Brilliance

    Another very unique piece, I love the experimental mixture of styles. What a sadly prophetic piece of writing this is. Of course my favorite stanza is the last
    "Swift retributions delivered with the weapons
    crafted for war symbolic of "Gods" thunderous
    in their rampage to be "Champions"
    How very true to the sad state of affairs our world has found itself in of late. Another very impressive write.


  • cutiepie gold member
    January 19, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you...I appreciate you kind comments


  • Ogreatbaldone gold member
    January 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    acrostic mixed with free verse, very creative. an interesting read. the last line closes it perfectly. different topic and your wording was awesome. keep it up...peace


  • cutiepie gold member
    November 20, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Many thanks , I am glad you enjoyed this poem


  • cutiepie gold member
    November 20, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you Buchan, your words are much appreciated


  • Scindr
    November 20, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Very interesting poem and your word selection was very good. I will read this one again I know. The single word lines in the middle really added to the flow and overall poem. Very well done.

  • Buchan
    November 20, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    Well expressed....We never learn.......I like your words......
    " Swift retribution delivered with weapons" "Men hell bent on annihilation" A very thought provoking poem....I wish I knew an answer....Perhaps a comfort in knowing,"And all the while the world revolves endlessly into time everlasting. Thank you very good poem. Very good words

1 - 9 of 9