All my life I wanted to know,
Why they didn't seem to care,
Why they tried to hurt me so,
To see me sink into despair.
I was almost always all alone,
I didn't know what to do,
I never truly ever shone,
All these things I say are true.
Good bye for now,
We'll meet again,
So now I bow,
And leave to end.
A contest entry
- Give me Everything you've Got by CrystalJet.
600 points, ended March 14, 2008, 318 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bullies - Victim's point of view by Moon Raven.
450 points, ended May 31, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1666 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
well I like it but you need to emphatized more the meaning than actually trying to make it rhyme... mostly it looks like its a forced rhyme but its penned out well.. just need to give it more feeling!
-
This a sad poem. I like this one quite a bit. It is beautifully sad- it has a sort of grace and humble quality. Though I stumbled upon the wording a bit in the second stanza it still flowed well and carried itself nicely. I appreciate the gentle rhyme and repetition of sound. The message of this poem is taken to heart. Thank you for this entry. I truly enjoyed it.
-
Aww this is really sad and it is very beautiful. Really well written you captured the emotions really well and I thought you wrote really well.
-
Wow! Great write you did here, I love this poem and it was awesome, but sort of sad! The only suggestion not to be mean just to help you out is you spelled shown wrong in the second stanza, other than that beautiful job done here sweetie thanks for sharing, I look forward to more of your works and writes.
Laters
-Lil' Tim
-
^_^ Great write Ice. Loved the rhyming sense of slow and word usage. Good luck.
-
second! i put them in after I wrote them already. I think that is why I got worse- too much writing online instead of in a diary!
-
Bestesterer!
Okay...I've finally...pants...made my...cough...way to your...deep breath...first poem...phew!
This is definetely the best one!
-
very good
There are a lot of feelings in this. It's a very good and expressive poem. -
Good
Good Job, is a great piece, very deep and clearly expressed
Keep Up the Good Job
Cheers---BlueMisery
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
