Early morning rises and the day begins
A reflection of the past and the secret
hidden
Shapeless and moulded
Crafted and destroyed
Change ultimately creates staticness
Clingyness to escape the scary
Wary of what may be
Ultimately hit by the memory of the
past
The loudness
of the quiet
It keeps me here, the reflection
It holds me from my future
Author notes
Written November 17th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
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The secret hidden. or is that a secret hidden. or . . . I like the different ways I could read that phrase and how you structured it in your poem. Then five lines that started to (finish, not necessarily conclude, what you start) but didn't give me a sense of the whatness and power these secrets have or maybe it's the hiding. Then the rest of the poem is strongly time related, which isokay because of the opening lines. The quiet doesn't always remain silent. But the future never gets to be more than right now except to escape from the past. Good work, good images. I would read out loud and check my rhthymns. I feel the line shapeless and molded could be left out, one -- not strong words, two -- said better in next line. Well I hope this helped. Actually, I may never know, unless you come back Ah! well. Something tells me you will. Love Tom B.
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