You took the time and effort.
Slowly and carefully you etched upon the glass.
It was a most beautiful design,
One no other could come close to copying.
But as you etched the glass became thin,
Wearing under the weight of your knife -
For your etchings were too deep.
With each new curve the glass grew thinner
Till finally it broke.
The masterpiece you put your life into
Was lying in shambles on the floor.
Looking at it you sigh deeply.
Should you pick up the pieces? Is it worth it?
No, you decide, someone else will clean it up.
The glass crackles underneath your feet
As you walk over it and towards the door.
With one last longing look to the floor you leave.
Years pass by as your work lies untouched.
It is almost beyond repair, not worth the time to be fixed.
Each shattered piece contains a bit of etch,
Some bigger than the others -
But all your work none-the-less.
Through an opened window the cool Autum breeze tosses the pieces,
Whipping some in the air and out the window.
Till one day a poor man passes the window and glances in.
Glittering in the sun your once cherished masterpiece lain.
Yet this man did not see shattered glass, he saw potential.
Painstakingly each night he would come into the room
Fitting each piece together,
Etching the missing parts and creating his own.
He didn't need every piece, just enough to completely it.
When finished he sighed contently.
It was not a masterpiece by a millionaires means,
but rather by a lovers.
This etched design had many cracks and often fell apart
Where the glue wasn't as strong,
But this man put his life into it.
Each etching contained a bit more of his own soul,
Combining with the etching of the man before.
But this man was wiser,
He saw that nothing is perfect nor is it imperfect.
All is set within the mind
And the mind is a powerful place.
Author notes
Yet again complete prose.
What do YOU think it's about?
Notice I don't ask for a CRITICAL comment. Cuz critically - I don't give a poop.
And really, honestly, you can keep your comment to yourself if you only have a few things to say - and it's unoriginal. I don't want to hear, "Wow great job my fav stanza was (paste whole friggen poem here)". I want real comments. If it touched you - tell me HOW. If it didn't, don't bother. If you hated it, tell me why - then how to fix it. No suggestions? Don't bother.
Ok - and to clarify - this is about my exfiancee, since there seems to be some confusion.
Written November 17th, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
It's my first time to read one of oyur pieces dear and I must say this piece is absolutly amazing! a very well written piece.
Angel
-
You were close with your interpretation of the poem
But try reading it in this light (and the light I intended it to be written in). It's written of my ex-fiancee who found me in my most "moldable" years, he started etching his design of love on my heart until it broke - then he merely walked over it and left it until my boyfriend of now I've finally let begin to re-etch over the etchings he left. It's basically meant to be my being, being shattered upon the ground and left with merely one more disappointed look before he walks out.
-
Lol, I'm no good at critiques but this was a great poem So I feel the need to say something. I liked the way that it moved me, the beginning showed someone making something beautiful in their life and then it breaks and they don't want to 'mend it' so it stays that way. Great write, keep writing because this was great
All the best,
Pozo
-
Umm - the critiquing. Basically when you write a poem you can chose to have it critically critiqued or not. I chose to have my latest 2 poems not critically critiqued - basically saying, "If you don't like it, kiss my ass.". The last 2 of my poems were written purly of prose (meaning I sat down and just wrote off the top of my mind - like a story) and that it was written for my pleasure.
Anyways, thanks for the critique of my poem It was written to be more the shattering of a person than a heart though. Recently I've learned (the hard way) the difference of the two. As a person I've completely shattered. It began as a broken heart and progressed to being a complete shattering of my person. Something my ex fiancee had helped mold (since I was with him in more of the shaping years of my life) that I'm still slowly having remolded by family and friends..but not after having my ex-fiancee walk over me and being left alone for many, many months. 
*sigh* Now I struggle from physical problems as well as emotional - and it sucks
-
I'm not sure about the critique process and don't wish to make you mad after reading your authors comments. I will offer what I felt as the imagery was painted before my eyes. Not sure if it will agree with your intent or the process in which you so desired to inflict upon your audience. To me without being bloated with big fancy words to describe it, I get it as a poem about heartbreak and romance. I see how metaphorically you demonstrated how a heart was broken as if it were shattered glass. To try to repair the damage wasn't going to take a miracle or even that of all the worlds money, but the caring and healing from another. A heart that is pure and made to love for love. This person took the time to get to know the other and the pain they had suffered and returned them their dignity and the hope to love again. With that type of determination and dedication, I am sure the other person will be well gifted to love once more. May I add one more observation that I can state in two words; Brilliantly Crafted. Many Hugs, Ted E.
-
wow, I'm going through this right now, This was amazing, I'm speatchless, I can relate to this one about a person rather than a creation, seeing past ones flaws, and putting someone back togther. This is truely an amazing write, I might relate to it different than what you intended, but I still got the right aspect of it. love the write. josh
-
amazing poem
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
4 old applause
