Gentle silence falls across thy lips
For unspoken words doth linger now
And trembled whispers dare thee to speak
Of what thy heart hath kept locked away
A hush falls as a quiet stillness
Treasure held within a silent vow
Hath not the courage to say thy peace
Hindering the truth within thy soul
If only thy heart could speak to thee
For to tell thee of thy sweetest truth
Surely thy spirit doth overflow
Just to simply say that I love Thee
Author notes
one-sided love for contest
Written November 17th, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 70 of 70
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Beautiful
The definition of what love is simply expressed in less than 20 lines.
You are amazing... I will definitely be reading more of your work.
Your style is impossible to match...
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Beautifully written - love the style and the 'old' English - great job!
Thans for entering. -
good
Good poem!
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Good
Wow...beautiful. I have never thought such romantic thoughts could be expressed in such languid repose as this, especially with an Old English write technique. The only thing you might want to check out is that the "I love you" at the end breaks up the whole Old English wording...It's not exactly a bad thing, mind, but staying within the language of choice is normally a great way to solidify a work. This, all the same, was a masterpeice unto itself. -
Woah, there’s loads of applauses here... People really like this, don’t they! Excellent stuff. Old style language is really hard to master, but you did it wonderfully. Well done.
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My favorite style of writing and you have certainly done it justice...Beautiful and romantic...Touching and sensitive...Perfectly written.
Victoria Lin -
very smooth. i like the flow and rhythm... and i also like the whole "old english" thing. it adds a sophisticated and elegant touch. very nice, great write. keep up the good work.
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wow! I don't think it would be easy to use old tense vocab like that you pulled it off really well. I like how you say a lot without writing too much. good job!
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Ooh la la!!! an excellent piece you have! used alot of neat words that so simple but gives alot of meaning
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This is great. Agreat way to describe those three little words that often stick to the roof of your mouth like a peanutbutter sandwhich. This had a great flow and really touched me.
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i love this poem...it's wonderful..i love this...it flows great and your word choices were nice...thanks for sharing your thoughts with me
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*****
Awm, wow that was great and so true! It's very hard to tell someone that you love them. And when you do, you should mean it wholeheartedly. That was great. -
Great!
Wonderful stuff, PS! "Just to simply say that I love you". Touch me like that again... -
i like it alot!
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Great job, beautiful poem, you did a great job using the old english as well.
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ahhh...
those gentle words touch within a heart and soul...
bringing a smile on through the day!
I did enjoy this my friend!
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill -
Well now you do realise im a woman dont ya
LOL
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WOW Total romance and heart throbbing madness. really this is crazy but ina good way. I absolutly love, "A hush falls as a quiet stillness
Treasure held within a silent vow
Hath not the courage to say thy peace
Hindering the truth within thy soul
Absolutly brilliant! If ur not taken will u be eith me and write me love poems? lol. exellant work -
wow! Romance agogo! I love this, and I'm feeling sentimental right now, so I love it even more than I would if I was grumpy and annoyed at the world of romance. Great write there, I like the use of the old romantic conventions.
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Wow! You have a really good sense of rhythm...the flow was awesome. I loved the way everything just sort of melted together into this pile of poetic goodness. Great job! Keep up the good work!
*Jess* -
This is so beautiful I love how you wrote this using words like thy, thee, thou, etc. All a woman/lady/girl wants is a good man to say they love her. Excellent write I loved it!!
~Kayla
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wow...that's a very great way of showing just how hard it is to say those three little words. It's pretty amazing how hard they are to say....Great poem
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aw this is so good....i want to know how to say i love you to my boyfriend but i'm so scared to for some reason i can talk to him about anything but its kinda hard because he is kinda shy and never really opens up to me...so i never know whether or not to tell him how i feel about him or just to let it go...well anyways this was a good write. Great job...and take care.
love
starynite -
I know exactly what you mean sometime not saying anything is saying so much...but sometimes you wish your heart could say what your heads not ready to admit
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good
I loved the still in which you wrote this. The flow, word choice, and emotion were all really good.
If only thy heart could speak to thee
For to tell thee of thy sweetest truth
Surely thy spirit doth overflow
Just to simply say that I love you
(my favorite part ^)
Good Job! -
Beautiful
This poem was amazing. The flow was great, and the old English words really added to it.. Made it more Shakespeare.. more meaningful and tender. This is a really sweet poem. I loved it very much! Well written, and keep up the awesome writing.
-Kayla-
Edited on Dec 03, 3:10 p.m. because 'I'm a bad typist'. -
This is an amazing poem! I love the flow and the feeling behind it! So romantic and sweet! Awesome job!
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"If only THINE heart" is a possible choice to replace the first line in the last stanza. Good job. Carry on.
Tecohe -
"If only thy heart could speak to thee
For to tell thee of thy sweetest truth
Surely thy spirit doth overflow
Just to simply say that I love you."
Such beautiful words.
Lovely poem. -
great poem
awesome poem,truely gets the point and emotion across,awesome background also,it fit so well with the poem,keep it up,it was a great poem,glad you shared it with us all
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Amazing...
Not that you need anymore encouragement on this poem, but I've gotta say that hit some place in the heart, and your old style use of language was incredible...just amazing. -
Great Write and i love the emotion but in this and i like the old english goes very well with the poem, also a sweet poem i like the ending! Great Write
Twiz -
awwwwww , this is so romantic , so cute , very passionate , and this use of language seems to add to the romance , soo sweet !!! i like the idea of the heart speaking and the idea of treasure , totally brillaint write , well done , you clearly care alot about the other person in this poem which is nice , well done
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BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO!!!!...this is beautiful...nice choice of words and the sentiment to the one you love is displayed very nicely thru your words...tender words for a tender heart...simply beautiful...best wish's to you and whom you wrote it for...and great job my friend!
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this reads like something shakespear wrote, which is cool if you are shakespear, but anymore these days it's not really appealing to me...however your meaning is very clear and concise which i enjoyed greatly...nice job
take care
-Darkness- -
I have to say that i don't come across very many poems with this language in to, a hopeless romantic comes out in this piece and also a soft but passionate flow of wonderment and love that is so self seeking yet timid to unveil itself, great job.
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i like this poem it has such grat meaning and i like the old english that u use, because not alot of people use it
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This is so very pretty.
I like the way it flows.
Tickles my tummy tickles my toes!
Edited on Dec 02, 10:51 because ''. -
you have captured the essence of what it feels like to be in love and have been so honest with the interpretation... wonderfully written and exceptionally pictured...
*Shadow -
One more thing, so many feel this in their hearts but can't put words to what they feel...I am so impressed you were able to and in such a lovely manner too.
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This is so soft, like tiptoeing through a meadow. How beautifully you have written this. I really enjoyed it.
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Aww, it's so oldfashion-y and romantic! Great job, I could really feel the mood you set and the thoughts you had going through your mind. Terrific write!
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I loved this poem. I love the "thy" and "doth" usage. It makes the poem seem Old English. I love reading those types of love poems because it makes it seem oh-so-romantic. Great job!
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the one you love has to be smiling, very elegant and well done
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This is so beautiful! You did an excellent job with this love poem!
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A wonderfully sweet love poem that soothes the soul this was very enjoyable and refreshing! It is good to see that not everyone is down and out these days congradulations on the love you have found! Great Work!
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The 'thy's and 'thee's kinda bug me, but I get whatyou're trying to accomplish and respect that. It's a nice poem all the same. Love's great in it's own ways, eh?
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it is so powerful in so many ways. i love it. great work.
Truely,
April -
Lovely romantic writing here, I think it's beautiful. Well done and carry it on.
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well I went to washington for two weeks and this week I have been on the road to North carolina and back so been a bit pre ocupied. It has only been about two and a half weeks and I have not talked to anyone around here so please dont take it personal. Anyways if you want to talk send me a message if not I will leave you be I suppose. For what it is worth I do miss ya and miss talking to you
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So glad ya forgot about the one's ya loved before. . . . . .whatever, I guess you're not who I thought you were afterall. We used to speak every day, now you have some new love and I haven't heard from ya (at any length) in almost a month. Foget ya, I don't need ya, psssssh, have a great life!
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Very beautiful with a passionate flow, very nicely written!
Edited on Nov 19, 8:26 p.m. because ''. -
Well wonderfully written as usual. Who is this love? ~~Shannon~~
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Excellent!
A simply beautiful flow from your dear heart, love the imagery, and the meaning! Please keep on penning on my friend!
-Elvis
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great and very refreshing poem
loved it from the bottom of my heart
love hikmat -
Who's the new beou????? My, my very beautiful write Lena!!! I know I havn't been on for a while, I have been really busy with work and life in general, would like to hear from you, hope all is well with you and your family and this nw love of yours, you deserve it!!!!
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A beautiful love poem for the one you love. I am sure it has warmed his heart and put a smile on his face. Love is a gift to treasure and hold dear. I really enjoyed this.
Very nice work.
Sam
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Saying I love you, and meaning it are the hardest words to say sometimes. Hope you are well.
Cheryl
Cheers!!
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FantabulousLoveSayIt!!!
Just Beautiful Angel...your words unspoken, come out from the heart written instead, but with so much Love...which showed you did have courage to write, and now is made known...the sweetest Truth...just wonderful...they're lucky to be so Loved...all put so simply, yet with style...at first, I thought to say something about changing a few of the words a little bit...but, then after I finished the entire poem...it all came together very nicely...I had thought you might have been almost rhyming the stanzas with each other...though...it didn't...but it's great...it just flowed right along...despirate longing...to speak the most important thing...short but so full of emotion...just beautiful...take care...God Bless...
's & 's
~Glet
rica/C. L. Brandon K.~
AngelSnot... -
A modern love poem in classic form,a delight to read.Love pours from the heart,thoughts rain upon the paper.Splendid indeed.
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Wow! This was really powerful. Sometimes I didn't understand some of the words, but that's only cause I'm dumb . Anyways it really made an impact on me. It sounded like Shakespeare. You are a very talented poem. Your words are so intense, yet so delicate at the same time. You did a really beautiful job with this! I envy your talent! Good work, and thanks for sharing!
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good
Woot, i loved this. This was great. The word usage was great, so was the flow. I personally loved the ending. good job! -
I will be sure to check it out
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if we are going for elizabethian, well, i wrote a poem in the style of keats, thats slightly before but good enough, the words are modern coz it wouldn't be taken serioulsy overwise, but yeah writing in an old style gives a poem more grace i think,
my poem is called "a hyperion dream" if anyones interested.
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great
great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
aww, this was really sweet..the way you expressed your love for the person. Its so beautiful. Awesome work!!!
-Ashley- -
Oh Lena, this is so gentle and lovely....I love the words, a little Shakespeare, just sends chills..no words just the thought, really, very beautiful for the one you love! Ann
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o very nice dear
you get kudos formme
i was jsut talking to soemone about writing elizabethian cuz i do it all the time.
very nice job.
we shall ahve to talk elizabethian sometime, i have notes -
i know for a fact, that no matter your eloquence in words, no matter your talent as a poet, sometimes it is difficult to write about love, myself, i simply cannot write a poem to the one i love and so to be able to articulate all those feelings in words is testement to your skill as a poet, but to do it well, and with such grace, is jsut amazing, thankyou, thats all, just thankyou, with fait hdaniel
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OMG this ROCKS... awesome..Love it.. ok ill shut up now! lol ~LIZ~
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