A bunch of roses dropped
At a busy station
Our eyes met
With complete devotion...
The weeks of true love,
the weeks of passion,
the feel good feel,
love so unreal...
The made for each other,
we were meant to be,
fitted like a glove,
& both thanked him up above...
The partnership made in heaven,
was taken too far,
who said it was your time,
you'd just found perfection...
(The final goodbye)
You chose a moment,
on the water so calm,
it was your time to leave,
it's ok i understand...
Your funeral so sad,
did you know??
Just I & your Father,
but love of 1000 people...
It's ok you know,
you didn't say goodbye,
I know & he knows you meant to,
sometimes 'meant to'
just ain't to be!
I miss you so very much,
but our little star,
helps you stay in touch...
Be good up there
& take good care,
for a moment of together,
will be real forever x
Author notes
Written November 17th, 2004
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1 - 8 of 8
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I consistently enjoy your writing...
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very nice
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Thank you for your contructive comments - i will say in my defense i wrote it very quickly straight from my head immediatley after the funeral! I will have another look & take on board what you said. many thanks. Lx
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A romantic and nicely written opening but strewn with cliche ie rhyming love with glove. Also The feel good feel? I think the feel good factor would be better placed. All this needs is a bit of consistency, more radical expression and less elementary. Its okay but totally forgettable.
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Good
I like the rhyme, and the timing, good write, keep it up
Pheobe -
the rhyme is great especially the ending. Igodina, it is taken as written that you are commenting not promoting when you comment on someones work.
Seriously actually, your rhyme is impecable with a great sense of timing and a delivery to match, it never sounds forced and i much enjoyed it -
Hi first I would like to add I am not here to advertise my work I feel it is not professional to do so. I think this is a lovely tribute to a loved one you had lost and i am sure they are in heaven right now smiling down on you as I read this. GOD BLESS AND TAKE CARE LAURA
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cool poem! i ENJOYED READING IT! maybe you could read some of my works too.
Edited on Nov 17, 6:38 p.m. because ''.
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