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Winter Romance

I remember the first time you showed me the snow
It was almost night and the sun was going low
The snowflakes sparkled in the last light
You ran up ahead of me and started a snowball fight

We laughed together and played there for such a long time
The snow on the ground would glitter and shine
Our footsteps were imprinted on that night
I'll never forget how you pulled me close and held me tight

I didn't understand what you were trying to tell me
I can't believe I didn't know it, that I couldn't see
But as you held me while the snow fell from the sky
You leaned down and touched your lips with mine

My eyes widened for a moment before they closed
I wrapped my arms around your neck and held you close
The snow kept falling; it was a perfect night
For a sweet winter romance after a snowball fight

After the kiss, we looked into each other's eyes
And I could see the love there, they told no lies
My heart was filled with joy, and I fell to the snow
I laughed as you laid with me, I didn't want to go

We made snow angels, stayed a little longer
You kissed me again, letting your taste linger
I savor that moment each and every day
I will never forget that special place

We're still together, we still play in the snow
We're always happy together, we set everything aglow
I'm sure we'll always be here, always like this
Just like that winter night you gave me my first kiss

Author notes


Written November 17th, 2004

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem, please leave constructive criticism!
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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Rose Dark Thorn gold member
    January 2, 2006
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    This is one of my favorites. I was rather proud of it when I finished it. I think it was inspired by a snowball fight I had with my boyfriend. But anyway, thank you for the comment bro. I see what you mean about the whole movie scene.
  • Chained Fury
    January 1, 2006
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    Hmm..there's definitely something magical about this piece...Something movie magical, just like a scene from a film isn't it? Or something that can be seen in such form. Instead of a snowball fight though, when I was reading this, I started thinking more of a midnight skate on a frozen pond. I don't know why but it happened, I just thought of it. So a young romance poem with a form I haven't seen in ages. The last time I used that form was way back in elementary when we had to write poems for mother and father's day. I think it fits the piece though, and so does this background.

    Well that was it for poem hunting tonight. I thought I would go deeper into the collection and find some old material.

    -Chained Fury

  • gothchyld
    February 16, 2005
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    This is such a mesmerizing write about the snow. I loved it so much. It is as if many things are missing, but there is always tinges of enjoyment. The imagery of winter also creates a paradox that even though it seems lifeless, love does exist in a rather dark season and can still be sensational. Great write!

  • Rose Dark Thorn gold member
    February 6, 2005
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    Thank you for taking the time to comment and consider my prewrite. I thought it was perfect for the contest and knew that if I tried to write another, I wouldn't be able to write one half as good as I think this one is.. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

  • Almighty Aphrodite gold member
    February 6, 2005
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    Oh, I wish I had something as beautiful to happen to me in the snow!

    While taking on a childlike wonder at the situation at hand, this poem maintains its deep, romantic timbre and transports one in time to a place carefree and without sorrow, so the cold that is on the outside can be easily offset by the warmth of your hearts and bodies on the inside. This is beautiful, and also holds an impressive rhyme scheme. I will have to consider this one.

    Many blessings,

    Raven Aurora

  • February 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Very Beautiful! I could feel the coldness of the snow, but also the warmness of the passion felt between them, the innocence of their first kiss and the surpised feeling felt! Well done, a very touching love story, all the best in the contest, Ann
  • Little Midnight
    February 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    "We made snow angels, stayed a little longer
    You kissed me again, letting your taste linger
    I savor that moment each and every day
    I will never forget that special place"

    Ah the sweet innocence of snowball fights and simple kisses. Sometimes I wish it would snow more often in SOuth Texas so I could maybe experience something to this effect. Very cute.

  • countrybabe gold member
    February 1, 2005
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    This is such a beautiful poem. I loved the flow and whole general idea of it. I also loved the picture you painted with your words. Truly magnificent.

    Keep up the good work.

    Countrybabe

  • WiltedRose
    November 23, 2004
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    This reminds me of a scene from the movie " The Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind." If you haven't seen it, I recomend it. You'll know the scene when you see it. Good write.

  • mollyeh13
    November 23, 2004
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    WOW THAT IS SOOOO GREAT!! it kind of reminds me of something that happened to me recently..so great...i really hope that you have many more moments like that because they are so worth it! great job!

  • Samplette gold member
    November 22, 2004
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    I really enjoyed this piece. Has a wonderful flow, and reads with a rhythmic beat. The story it tells is beautiful as well. You did a great job with this. Thank you for entering my contest, it was a lovely read.
    Sam
  • LaPetiteSinger
    November 21, 2004
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    AW! This is so adorably cute and romantic...it's like a movie! I don't know if this really happened to you or not, but if it didn't, you sure fooled me!
  • CelticAngel1605
    November 17, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    That is so precious! Beautifully written. Good job. I really enjoyed this peice. You have a lot of talent, keep it up.
1 - 13 of 13