Achilles sulks in his tent
his bronze sword
gleams in the setting sun
while the dead are carried to the pyre.
Another ship dismembered
to burn the bodies on the cluttered beach.
The warriors grieve
and return to the tents
to straighten their swords
and order their worlds;
Menelaus rages
Priam pursues Penelope.
Smoke rises across the burning plain
the red city glows
Briseis is dead
soon we will mourn Patrocles.
Author notes
Written November 17th, 2004
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Now I really like Ancient history and all, and I really like this poem. The only thing is i felt it was kind of short, and it's only like a glimpse into something. it has an odd feel, but I still like it. -
I like its pretty good I have no Idea what you are talking about but I do know who Achilles is. But I do love the poem it is great the flow is wonderful you really have a wonderful write here.
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There is still too much killing. Still. -
verg good
I am a history buff and love to read poems like this. Keep it up. Just got a call and have to go but will visit this again and comment more fully. Best of Luck with it. Patti Dalton -
great
wow very nice peice,
I wish i could wright poems like that. -
I love this poem! I LOVE history and I really wanted to read a poem about the past. Thank you so much for this. I love it, you wrote it really well. And it was not only well written but I think you used the traditional version of the story exactly as it should be told... people ruin it!
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There is something eerie in the mundanity of the details -- soldiers straightening their tents -- combined with the sullenness of the scene -- dead bodies being taken to burn.
This leaves me bothered. I think it should, though. -
How interesting... I just wrote a poem that mentions Achilles, although in a completely different context.
I really like your images here. I saw the movie Troy twice and was moved to try and write something about it, but never got it quite right.
Of course, you probably skipped the movie and took this straight from Homer's epoc. -
I read it as a timely allegory, not necessarily a prophecy, as I am sure WW3 happened years ago and we never noticed, as we were too busy buying pop records and fighting with the neighbours. Something has been lost already and it is irretrievable: right now it all feels too late for warnings or cryptic prophecies.
It has more of a world-weary "seenitall before" ness about it, I felt. Of course the tradition of literary types using Troy as a metaphor is all a bit English, and I think it was the Americans, like Eliot, who were more classical: every social comment on 20s London had to be couched in some Sanskrit or something: learning worn on sleeve.
For the real English who hate the smell of those libraries, who don't want to read about Troy while Fallujah burns, I think there is a mutual envy of cultures: we want to get up and shout like Dylan did, without all the classical references. I think we have a deep-seated envy of America, you know.
But this is a resonant and very learned poem: I like the way that the various antics of the ancients, and all their journeyings, are flattened out into an observational present-tense. It certainly has a gravitas: Il meglior fabbro. -
I need to think about the linking of Priam and Penelope and the early death of Briseis but I know that the end - the whole poem - moves with an Hellenic nobility.
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"an eery prophetic feel"
I have long felt that about much of your work. That is what is so damn cool about it.
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I remember hearing Henrix's version of "all along the watchtower" on the day of, or shortly after 9/11, the screaming guitar, the 2 riders approaching and the wind howling.
And though I, like Claire and probably others, cannot comment on details that I do not quite understand, I get a strange feeling like the one I had when listening to that song on that day. -
me dont know any of this, me cant be bothered to look it up in google and pretend i do either
so
i like the sounds though, very much - they had some crazy names didn't they all the names sound like types of coffee or cheese or human body bits
i like the word pyre
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Just when I think I've forgotten the little I know about Greek Mythology......
I agree with Scarlet. It can be applied to current events. Eerie indeed.
Priam pursues Penelope, yes but she is the symbol of fidelity and devotion....resisted all and her husband came back from the war and killed them anyways.
Okay that's all I remember but I see a connection here and a collection. Achilles, Menelaus, Priam, Penelope, Briseis, Patrocles, Hector and Ovid from Seduction 1,2 & 3. This has been in the works for sometime. All connected. Should list them together.
I remember now. Sex, war, religion and youth. Beginning with Seduction 1, where we were lured to read on. And this little collection of the Trojan War. Next is religion. And that's where you will openly tie it altogether with current events. A prophesy.
Desiree
Edited on Nov 17, 12:28 because 'remembered stuff'. -
Course what Little Red Bird says is true. Sneaky dat Lute is. I'm going back to Loki though.
Edited on Nov 17, 7:47 p.m. because ''. -
I think this is more than a simple descriptive re-telling of the story (although, left at just that it is still very well written and atmospheric). It seems to me it could be applied to current political situations.. which gives the whole thing an eery prophetic feel.
that's where I took it anyway.
~Scarlet -
Thought this was very well written. It tells the story succinctly. The choice of words made for a good atmospheric undertone. See you are another Cavafy fan.
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Very well done. The form was excellent. Very informative too.
Is this part of a series on Troy?
Val -
Interesting read.
This is an interesting historical piece. I don't know much about Troy but I enjoyed this poem.
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