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hit

I hit a deer on the road today,
a spindly-legged type without horns.

No crunch of bone, no spray of blood;
no broken brown body rolling up the hood to smash my windshield
like in the movies.

The deer turned towards me,
put it's black hooves on the red metal hood,
and said calmly, staring straight into my eyes,
"you can't hurt me".

I drove away, very much at peace.

Listening to gravel crunch under tires,
I sucked on a butterscotch until it was completely gone.

Author notes


Written November 16th, 2004

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

  • PattiD
    August 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    extraordinary

    This poem moves me in some unidentifiable way (with just the first two readings). I will read it again, at leisure, so that I can process it and find out what the lure is. It is powerful in its simplicity. The language seems perfect. I feel the peace you feel over having not killed it. Is this a metaphor for all the killing that goes on in the world, both in single acts of violence and/or in wars? Could we possibly go on with the hum-drum act of sucking on our candies or eating our pies, cakes or diet foods? What happened with the deer took both of the victims, you and the deer, to avert the act. Gads, you are good, even if I'm reading too much into this. Best of luck to you. I'm giving you all of my remaining 18 points. Patti

  • PattiD
    August 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    extraordinary

    This poem moves me in some unidentifiable way (with just the first two readings). I will read it again, at leisure, so that I can process it and find out what the lure is. It is powerful in its simplicity. The language seems perfect. I feel the peace you feel over having not killed it. Is this a metaphor for all the killing that goes on in the world, both in single acts of violence and/or in wars? Could we possibly go on with the hum-drum act of sucking on our candies or eating our pies, cakes or diet foods? What happened with the deer took both of the victims, you and the deer, to avert the act. Gads, you are good, even if I'm reading too much into this. Best of luck to you. Patti


  • 100percentbran
    December 3, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Hey Mal--

    Thanks for the comment, and good to see you online again. I've been working on this format a lot lately, and I really like it.

    You're right on in the interpretation, though I like poetry to mean something different to each reader, this is very close to what I meant. It's about being in a very good relationship and being happy that I'm enough not to fuck it up.

    cheers.


  • mad-malteaser
    December 3, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    No one's commented? Why the hell not?!

    There's something very surreal about the situation you portray here, but not, if that makes any kind of sense. To me this seemed to say to me that no matter what we do, we can't destroy nature or the world we're living in. It's like an ultimate survival story.

    I love the format you tell this in. The almost story-like quality of it adds an air of mystery and I get a sense of well-being right at the end.

    I'm probably way off track in finding out what this is about, but regardles, it's interesting and unique and one I could easily keep coming back to.