We danced last night
Don't you remember?
You held my hand,
I held yours;
Sweat trickled down
Our necks
But you still
Smelled sweet
Sweet like the honey
That the bees protect
From a mammal
A thousand times
Larger and stronger
Than them...
Sweet like the rose
That pricked my fingers
While wanting
A hold of that scent
That sweetness
Of beauty...
Don't you remember?
We danced last night
Your smile held me close
Sending the happiness
Down my spine
To my groin
You had so much power
In your smile
In your lips
In your kiss...
We danced last night
Step by step to the
Beat by beat of the
Song by song that
Sung into our hearts
And it vibrated
My soul to dance
More passionately
Than ever before
Neverending songs,
Don't you remember?
Your sweet scent,
Your graceful poise,
The soothing melodies,
And everything else
Brought me to dance
Then my hand
Touched yours
And we danced together
Then my heart
Touched yours
And we beated together
Then my gaze
Touched yours
And we knew each other
Then my waist
Reached yours
And we balanced together
Then your smile
Touched mine
And we smiled together
We danced last night
Don't you remember?
*A ring of a phone*
*A voice of a girl*
We danced last night
I remember...
Author notes
Written November 16th, 2004
A contest entry
- Love in all shapes and sizes by Baby Blue Bubba.
300 points, ended August 31, 2005, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Last Letter by piccola.
450 points, ended March 16, 2007, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I don't see how it fits any of the scenarios...can you tell me which one you think it fits?
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i reckon the letter one
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a very beautiful poem and i want to see more like this one so keep writing
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tnx so much for the gold! lol .. my first ever!!!! thnks so much.
dnt -
Congratulations on winning the gold trophy. Very well deserved
Kat xxx -
I love the feeling of this. Something that was so beautiful to you, and so important to you because you shared it with someone else. Yet in the end, it made you feel a little lonely, because that person doesn't remember it like you do.
Thanks for entering.
~Angel~ -
tnx for the great comment. thnks.
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You begin this piece by asking if the person this poem is intended for , remembers dancing with you. And this theme is repeated throughout the whole poem. However we are left to ponder why you have to ask this question at all and why this person would not remember. We do not at any point get an answer either directly or indirectly from your words.
Interesting metaphor that you have chosen about the bees. As though this girl has to protect herself from you, who is stronger than she. The pure image of the rose is also tainted by the idea of sharp thorns, as though the love you desire is out of your reach.
This whole piece, although obviously written about dancing is in itself a metaphor for the rhythm and sensuousness, the sights and the scents found in something much more personal.
Thank you for sharing. Best of luck in the contest.
Kat xxx
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