I am a doll.
Rigid and dead.
My heart burns beneath plastic,
As my hand is gripped tighter.
I want to cry out and scream,
But my painted smile remains.
Wanting to explore and know the world,
I am placed in my glass case like a flower.
Not to be touched,
Not to be loved.
I am like a doll.
Cold and delicate.
I yearn to touch you,
But my arms won’t bend.
I want to feel safe,
But I am set aside for no one.
I am a doll.
Loving and loved.
Dead and dying.
Author notes
Yeah, I know it makes no sense, but that's how it is I guess.
I'm not really trying to say anything, so by all means take what you want from it. Just how I feel, so yeah...hehe
Written November 13th, 2004
http://larafairie.deviantart.com/art/Dolls-40148948 by larafairie
In a list
A contest entry
- Filled with emotion, any kind of poetry by Vidasmoke.
675 points, ended July 14, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - All Dolled Up... (Pic Prompt) by PerfectTonight.
625 points, ended April 22, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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This piece is so beautiful and I love how it truly fits the prompt!
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You can delete this, but here is the real link for the artist to put in ur AN
http://larafairie.deviantart.com/art/Dolls-40148948
Thanks! -
I need to know the pic you used in your AN. Thanks!
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like the doll theme of the poem
good luck
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i really like this my favorite part was "i want to cry out and scream, but my painted smile remains" this is a feeling that i have very often and i thank you for entering in my contest and i enjoyed reading thi
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Despite the author note on this poem, that it doesn’t really say anything, I feel quite the opposite is true. I personally think it expresses how many people feel within themselves. The glass case represents being trapped and the person (doll) has a loss of identity, a toy that others can play with, manipulate and discard on a whim, yet the painted smile of happiness remains in place to mask the numb feelings.
Although this poem is fairly short I think it has a great deal of impact simply because it is relatable for so many readers. They too, might cry out and want freedom to explore the world as individuals and not feel they are dictated to by others. The only thing I think would improve this poem is in line eleven. To keep the continuity through out I suggest the line “I am like a doll” as both the first and last stanza state the same.
Thank you for entering the Raven Contest 2007 and good luck with your entry! Your work may also be viewed by other Raven judges.
Northern Raven
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Excellent, expansive vision
Sarah (I think that's your name) I enjoyed this poem for its mystical aspects. It could be said that it applies only on the doll level but I noticed something very significant that tells a different story.You began with "I am a doll" but as the poem gathers pace and depth you state "I am like a doll" very interesting. Could it be that the doll is symbolic of doll and human ? If so, then the human is unable to reach out (arms that won't bend) and is trapped in her isolation and personal paralysis. It could well be that she is a person that yearns to be loved rather than discarded at the whim of people who merely use her. The "painted smile" is the mask that we hide behind - great poem. There is so much to this brief poem. camus x -
I really enjoyed the desperate call and yearning in this piece, great write....
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excellent
Funny how a toy can mean so much to us. It has no feeling yet is something we feel for. This was such a cute and delighful poem. I loved it
Hugs
Jan -
This is wonderful!Wow...amazing. So much....feeling and imagry!great piece!
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I liked this it was a great play on words...Im going to look at this again later and im going to applaud...good luck in my contest Create4ever
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Lovely!
"I yearn to touch you, but my arms won't bend" - That line was brilliant. This was an "edge-of-your-seat" kind of poem. I pictured such a strugge in my head while reading this. As the visual was tragic, the flow was timeless. As we all may feel like a raggedy, dead doll, tossed aside at times, your writing can clearly help you express that feeling, and help you express it very well. This poem was lovely, and I enjoyed the every moment of reading it. Wonderful job, and thank you so very much for entering my contest.
Les
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Great : )
Hi, I'm new to this site and am just getting the hang of what to do etc. I know it's poetry but i didn't realize you had the chance to comment on others work. well, if this is what i can look forward to reading , them i know i'm going to thoroughly enjoy myself. -
A delightfully lovely poem that compelled me to make a comment, though, the other comments seem to cover most of what I could say...as a subject, it first struck me in a way that I remembered the song version, by Donovan, of the Little Tin Soldier (sp), then it swings along to the images that cause me
to think of the DOORs' song about a girl caught in "a prison of her own device"...however, then, I reflect upon it and its poet, on her own, shines darkly through in colors of the prism of tears. When finished and allowed to think about it (which I did several times, enough to have it printed out so I could take it with me and read it wherever I was). Lamia (truly love that name) is a poet with her own, definite voice shown clearly with her ability to use pacing, spacing and sense of words both in their "dictionary" meanings and aural vibrations.I give a sweeping, graceful bow of respect to a honest poetress! -
This is sad,and lovely.Very good for one so young,or anyone for that matter.Write on.Rob
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Great imagery and emotion, I loved this poem
It was amazingly written and really powerful, keep writing because this was great.
All the best,
Pozo
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ive read this poem several times now, but never can seem to find the words to express how i feel about it. I havent found them quite yet either, but thought i should let you know that i have read it. It kinda makes me sad.. but I know that eventually some curiouse boy will come and take the doll from her glass case, and unbind her from her emmotionless hell... its destiny pure and simple. yup.. thats it for my ramble... I love you sarah.. bye- Your Demon
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wow, this is great. nice poem, i look forward to reading more of your works.
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very interesting
Hi Sarah. Firstly, thanks for reviewing my poem "Ashes". I appreciated ur positive comments. Reading ur poetry and biographical details, u sound like a real rebel - good on u ! I love rebellious,kick - against - the - norm stuff. Camus' existentialist novel The Outsider with its theme of life being chaotic, absurd and meaningless since the guillotine hovers inexorably above everyone's head is my passionate belief too. Keep kicking - I rather like you. camus tonyryan1948@hotmail.com -
amazing
no words, honestly. -
Masterpiece
this is .....wow i dont know,but its like the metaphor is just the perfect way to express not being able to do any thing.
this is just perfect.
-cheers -
REALLY GOOD!
I LOVE THIS! and i know how you feel in this! wow is all i can say! this was perfect! i totaly enjoied it! well keep it up!
~keep it rockin!~ -
Great work yet again Lamia,
Wanting to explore and know the world,
I am placed in my glass case like a flower.
Not to be touched,
Not to be loved.
I especially liked this part. It is so sad, wanting to explore but being trapped and never finding love even though it is wanted.
-Madison -
OMg. I enjoyed every bit of this. Seriously, great job. I especially liked the lines:
I want to cry out and scream,
But my painted smile remains.
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Excellent
Put me in mind of a bird in a cage... needing to try it's wings... This was well written, even though images of sadness outlined the need for freedom... Excellent
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