Blood runs in the streets.
Hector's spirit is awake.
I hear your wailing.
I fear the lamentations
of the Mothers
over the quaking
and the rumbling
of the beast.
Cerberus has loosed his chain.
Evil spirits rise
from the refuse in your streets
and the clutter of your sands.
The beast is patient cunning
and slow,
but certain.
Author notes
April 13, 2004
Written November 11th, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 49 of 49
-
x
-
9/20 Poets Against War -
Much said in these few lines - liked the brevity of the lined, the flow and the vivid visual images these words bring to mind. Metaphors well placed as well. This goes back a ways.
-
you come out really strong in the first stanza & the metaphors in the 2nd & 3rd are very unique
thanx for sharing ♥
CureMyTragedy
-
Great!
Thats really... intense... Do you feel this inside, like, an emotion, or do you just write this way? -
this is a great piece. its sad and a little scary but it works beautifully
-
this was great to read loved wonderful writing, as always
-
oh this is an absolutely gorgeous piece, I love the words you chose and the format, lovely lovely, just simply lovely
keep on writing!!!
-
Powerful but to some extent elusive without some thought being applied by the reader. And, who is the beast?
-
this is one i was looking for -- there are others than can be put with this .. in sections don't you think?
-
I like the unique allusion to Cerberus the three headed dog...I find this piece to be very compact and succinctly written...the last 3 lines are a fitting ending to the poem's preciseness with the structure and flow following suit...an excellent write...Janice
-
Very unique, well chosen words, and imagery, I like reading something so interesting and a tad different. Not sure I have a grasp on the whole thing, but a great piece indeed!
Thanks for sharing you!!!
-Timothy The Poetic Weaver~ -
excellent
Well set out poem....has made me think.....Opinion is not a fact. I think killing is wrong...and now I am lost in the confusment of the moment. Good poem so very well expressed and written
-
You have written a powerful poem about the current situation, but as with the majority of war/anti war poems it can apply to all conflicts throughout history. All are mismanaged, all result in non-combatant fatalities as well as those of the soldiers sent in often as cannon-fodder by powers sitting behind desks hundreds of miles away who are totally unaware of the actual nature and of what their policies and directives mean at the front line. I liked the classical imagery you used, which relates not only to the ground on which the current conflict is being fought but also gives the poem that feeing of apocalyptic historical universality.
-
Perfect title for this piece.
The beast is not slow,
as some would consider slowness,
but he is patient,
because he does not wish any to be saved,
but desires all to fall from grace. -
a great little verse ... and apparently quite evocative ( ie just above ) .. war invasion killing SUCK i won't go into the right or wrong of this campaign. What ever ur position is, it contains elements of both.
-
You are a fearless poet and communicator. santori is right, you leave no room for the reader to find your work lacking.
-
A critique isn't needed, anyway. There isn't anything to suggest.
Although Hector is a rather more admirable symbol of resistance than Zarqawi. Or is he? I don't suppose the Trojans would have been any more gracious in victory than the Achaeans. And so it goes, and so it goes.... -
I would LOVE... I mean really LOVE for you to direct me to these thousands of Iraqi people that are WANTING our help. Actually.. just direct me to 100 of them because I would like nothing more than to shed even one iota of my own embarassment and shame over the way in which we have liberated more than 100,000 innocent Iraqis of their lives. I suppose to some that could be considered ULTIMATE freedom.. but that is not how I see it... and that is NOT how the MAJORITY of Iraqis see it either. They are tired of being USED by their own dictators let alone imagine being happy about their entire reality being converted into a living hell by OURS. Come on... if China were to come to the rescue of the half of the US that did not vote for Bush.. by bombing the hell out of your community... would you really appreciate it? I know... its the thought that counts... excuse me.
-
My way of thinking has nothing to do with the President and his election. I'm not a Bush fan. I'm not a fan of this war, I don't think what's happening is good or right. I'm just trying to look at it for the reality that it is. What you see on the television is not the opinion of all Iraquis. There are thousands who DO want the assistance. Who NEED it. I agree, we shouldn't be occupying the country and things haven't been handled well, but that isn't an excuse for terrorists to kill innocent people, and call America evil. This isn't a forum for politcal debate either, and the main reason I normally abstain from commenting about how I feel or what I believe. I'm not offended by your comments, in fact, the more people interact talk and research, the better. I don't have the answers, but I know plenty of people (Iraqui AND Americans) who are suffering and it's not all at the hands of America.
There isn't one place to lay blame, but many.
-
I agree with Ed.
To TillyMay...we may not be there "only to ruin the lives of the innocent" but you can't ignore the 100,000 innocent Iraqi lives that have been lost in this war.
The terrorism and killing continues because our soldiers are guarding the oil fields instead of guarding the borders where the terrrorists are pouring in every day.
The beheading and car bombing is terrible but if you think it's gonna stop, think again. It will only get worse because we are immorally occupying a country in a part of the world that doesn't want us or our food or our medical care that they wouldn't even need if it wasn't for us.
Your way of thinking, (honestly, no disrespect intended here) but your way of thinking is why this president is sitting in the white house for 4 more years and not in jail. Bush too...I mean Cheney.
Edited on Nov 12, 12:39 because 'nunya'. -
funny comment Tilly. Why are they so opposed to us helping? welll, perhaps because they are being 'helped' at gunpoint?
see, people tend to get a bit edgy when confronted with many armed men...regardless of their proclaimed intentions.
Edited on Nov 12, 10:51 because ''. -
This poem is eloquent and well written. It shares a point of view in a powerful way.
As for commenting on the war, I have a difficult time with that. So many are so quick to blame America, as though we are there only to ruin the lives of the innocent. I don't agree with all the reasons for going there, but I saw what happened the last time we just pulled out and left, and it was devestating. We are not the ones blowing up cars and suicide bombing women and children and police stations. Our soldiers just want to make peace, build some sort of workable infrastructure, get the water and electricity going and let the Iraqui people get on with it. The terrorism and killing that continues only hinders our troops and keeps them there longer. Why are they opposed to us helping the people get food and water and medical care? Why do they kill our aid workers and innocent people who are there only to help? Why do they behead women and men who have nothing to do with the war itself? Focus your anger carefully. I am heartbroken for this country, for the division, for the anger, for the loss.
Excellent poem. x -
Arrogance breeds contempt and it is one of the greatest demons that we are to battle with. The only battle necessary to engage are those that declare the freedom of spirit from its imprisonment within the soul of the SELF alone. Blessed is your voice of reason
portrayed through your works...cosmicly speaking -
Ive found myself questioning peace latley and ive found myself crying as we watch this terrible war unfold pottentially powerless to let it unfold. This poem deals with the real issues of war, the people not the politics! thankyou for sharing it. and i pray one day That beast will be tamed. many blessings alina
-
I like the literary allusions, which were used very effectively, and the dramatic ending this poem builds up to. Keep writing more like this!
-
In the words of my favourite anime character, Vash (Trigun, "no one has the right to take the life of another." I feel so terrible that innocent people are dying for no reason during this stupid "war". It's more of a massacre than anything. Anyways, great work! Keep it up!
-
I dont understand whats going on in this poem, but i know Cerberus. I lovce Cerberus, despite the fact that hes three times as scary as any other doggy. Lol. Anyway, it was a good poem.
-
my kids and i just viewed fahrenheit 911 last night...i'm up getting ready for work checked AP and read this...amazing work....my mom is 70 on the phone screaming about the injustice....we live in a time of great evil..your poem just confirms it in my mind...Well done...
rhi x (rhiannon 11)
Edited on Nov 12, 3:47 because ''. -
the Beast indeed!
k -
I believe that your poem has brought out much emotion. I will only say this: I feel the pain for the lives lost in this war, but I also feel the pain for those lost on 9-11. I feel the pain of those in Spain, and for the children in Russia, for the families, women, and children in Africa. Terrorism has raised its ugly head all over the world. Who will cry for the 30,000 in the shallow graves from Saddam? There is TOO MUCH PAIN, and we ALL feel it.
-
Lute,
In my review of your poem, I do understand the severity of a need to release your feelings without having to justify them. I have never fought in a war, but my dad, all my uncles, my grandfather, my brother, and several cousin did. Some fought in a time when they were considered sub-human by the very country they swore to uphold. I lost two cousins to Viet Nam. That hurts. Yes, war is necessary, but this war is about greed. It's about money, oil! We have Haddam Hussian in custody. There we no weapons of mass destruction to be uncovered. The war is NOT over, as Bush said a few months back. There is bloodshed all over Bagdad, and the surrounding areas, both from American soldiers, Iraqi soldiers and civillians, it is distressing. Yes, the beast roams the streets there as well as here, and it's going to get worse. This is only the beginning. If these are your feelings, then you expressed them with great energy and fervor. Good poem on a hurtful topic!
-
I echo Tahutihotep's comment (the first one). Well done! I want the war to end right now, this minute..no more blood spilled..no more agony..no more terror. War is hell..no matter how far away it is, it hits home. Too many suffer..it must end.
-
A
Okay, with this poem, I feel a lot of symbolic meaning in it. I hate the fact that we are at war, for no apparent reason anymore. It's Satan, and he's in control of the war, prowling the streets. I like your poem. I hate that the innocent suffer, I hate that people must die, I hate that war must continue. But I love that you wrote this poem. -
I am a pagan, but I would like to join you in that prayer. it is not Ma'at that the innocent should suffer. may the tears of Isis heal their wounded hearts.
-
i feel that this peom deals poignantly not so much with the battle itself, but with the long suffering that follows. war hurts. it hurts more than the soldiers that fight it. it hurts those whose homes are destroyed, those civilians unlucky enough to get cought up in the conflict, those families who must weep for the dead and those who are maimed but left to live. it even hurts those who see and hear it, whether they be at the site of battle or far away. it hurts the very land it is fought on. and the hurting does not stop when the shooting ceases or the treaty is signed. the pain goes on for generations. I think more people need to remember that before they start rattling sabres.
-
I do not read this as strictly a war poem, though on the surface it might seem to be (and though it certainly is just that, but there is more....and less). It is the patience of the beast... the surety of falling prey to its dripping teeth.
I think it says something about futility.
Edited on Nov 11, 11:32 p.m. because ''. -
Absolutely compelling.
from Revelations 6:15-17..
"And the kings of the earth, and the
great men, and the rich men, and the
chief captains, and the mighty men,
and every bondman, and every free man,
hid themselves in the dens and in the
rocks of the mountains; And said to the
mountains and rocks, Fall on us, and
hide us from the face of him that sitteth
on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb:
For the great day of his wrath is come; and
who shall be able to stand?"
So I get a lot out of this poem...most a liberal attitude
that the U.S. forces in Iraq are doing nothing but causing bloodshed and that the world and the Middle East are soon to face a conflict much greater than democracy against oppression..I feel as if your poem maybe symbolic of a war between Islam and Christianity....which is better...we do not know, however, I can tell you this...I will fight for freedom and I will die for freedom...regardless of what religion.
May God hold strength for our soldiers.
Beautiful poem. -
Powerfully stated at the end, though the whole piece was woven with a message. Your wording was fantastic.
-
regrettable
Your exit lines are good. Good enough to forgive the ignorance prevalent even from the title.
To write about such an issue or subject one must be sure to refrain from frivolities and be sure to pay it due respect - except of course if the intention was to satire.
Bruce Springsteen managed to sound "real" on his Ghost of Tom Joad album even though he only read most of the subject matter in newspapers. Maybe because he is good or maybe the suffering during his youth ensured an intimacy.
While your writing is good (you are a good poet and the majority of your work poves it undoubtedly). I can't shake the feeling that you have never felt the terror of warfare and all this is just an unfathomable world for you.
A poetess once said in an interview: "Keep your pen away from where your soul has not tread". -
in the bloody dust of innocence and evil mingled, ground to a pulp by the war machine seeking to bring peace through death
rears the ugly head of despair.... as the so called crusaders of democracy plug one hole here only to find insurgencies leaking in three other places, and blood freshly leaking from another 50 or so young men and women besieged in a foriegn land. -
Siiigh.
Fallujah's got me in a funk. Every day during lunch, in that crowded, thick-aired cafeteria, a few TVs drone almost silently about the war. We're fed little snippits of what's going on, and all in all, it looks bad. Just yesterday, a boy who graduated from the highschool on the other side of town died in Fallujah. He was 19 years old. This is a message that needs to be heard. And I much enjoyed the write, in its' succinct clarity. -
i think i stand with cvillelisa - just sitting here, sad and quiet - no words - but good write
peace -
Critique not appropriate, only solidarity, thank you for saying truths
-
brilliant
You have done well to capture an ominous creeping, coupled with a profound sadness, almost resignation...maybe even total resignation. It is quite scary...almost exactly as scary as opening the door and walking stiffly into the street, a cigarette beneath the brim and a hope not to be noticed.
a percolation has invaded the wind. a violin is being madly sawed without regard for tonality or art or tympanic membranes, vibrating on the edge of perforation.
Edited on Nov 11, 11:14 p.m. because ''. -
And the dark shall rise
bleeding out the sun
the oracles have shut their eyes
and the bible says
'I told you so.'
We that witness
shall share in the wrath -
Hey, dat not be Desi's Hector is it? He cries a lot too...but Desi's Hector is always sleeping...so this can't be him...this guy wakes up and wreaks havoc. Hers just wakes up and wants food...then more sleep...cuz he works like a dog, you know. lol.
oopsers...forgets to mention the other Hector likes occasional sex...okay, not really sex cuz he likes to get some but just only gives Desi a "knee" for her amusement...but he can't help himself working like a dog an' all dat. lol
Dark message here...
UB
Edited on Nov 11, 11:38 because ''. -
interesting message poem, and an ominous message. hector was more or less the ambassador of bloodshed in greek mythology who announces the darkness of war to paris and helen. but he is a mere messenger. I looked back at april 13, 2004, and note that on that day president bush announced to the nation that it was a particularly dark week in iraq, with much bloodshed. one could draw the conclusion that he was a mouthpiece for the patient, cunning "beast." and that beast might be... well, I won't go there.
yes, lute makes us think. I like a poet who does that.
~travis
-
just silence .. and sadness.
Adding your comment:
1 - 49 of 49
