We was drivin up to Indiana.
We was goin to see the cornfields.
We was lookin at them cornfields
When we saw her staring out at us.
She was dropping onto her knees.
She was cryin her heart out.
She was beggin the one in charge
For another chance to live.
We could hear her heart beakin.
We could taste the sadness in the air.
We could feel her pain inside,
But nothin about us is anythin to her.
When she gots everythin to lose
And nothin to live for,
She's just another sad story I tell.
She's gonna think,
"Why should I live this life
When all I have are the pieces of my heart?"
She needs to understand,
That pieces of the heart get glued together.
She needs to learn,
That maybe not smiling means you're not livin.
But she said,
"When you're already dead inside,
Something else that gets killed really doesn't matter."
Author notes
Hmm.....what more should this poem have? Grammar meant to be this way.
Written November 9th, 2004
A contest entry
- Driving (prewrites welcome) by Danna Hobart.
490 points, ended January 13, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Interesting thoughts. Thank you for entering.
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Great piece, but you didn't write a certain something inside your authors comment box for the contest.
Jenny -
Whoa that was a really sad poem that brought back lots of memories but it was very good never the less I like the past tense grammer thing it made it more excting Love ya Andrew
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I kinda figured thats the way the grammer was supposed to be. I would try to put something in it where she was helped no it would ruin it. Just keep as is and it will be fine. you did an awsome job on this....GOD BLESS AND STAY AT PEACE LAURA
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