Making love,
Passionate throbbing,
Ardent souls matching in our
Feverish custom
Author notes
Written July 30th, 2002
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For some reason I find this sad. Ending it as a feverish custom almost seems that it's now an empty mechanism. The life and love seem to be gone. Passion yes. Love no.
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woot
>.< I dig it...hardcore. ^_^ hehe. wow I really liked this, very nice form, very sensually done, yet subtle enough to still be tasteful in the most ellagant way imaginable -
Very nice, a lot of emotion, have to see if I can sort you out a background to go with this, see what I can come up with. I love this although I would have written I think throbbing passions, but then that's me..........
Thanks for sharing
take care
sanity -
good
Had to look this poetic style up in the dictionary:
a 3-line unrhymed Japanese poem structurally similar to haiku but treating human nature usually in an ironic or satiric vein
Trouble is there are so many different definitions who knows what is what anymore. All that matters is I really enjoyed the poem and you have made me want to dig more into the style.
thanks,
John
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i am learning so much tonight
first tanka from someone else
now senryu from you sis
let me see if i have this right
3,5,7 and then 5 again?
think i'll leave the love ones to you sis
as you do them so well! -
i just love this one it so plesant
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neutral
... hmmmmmm. -
don't touch it!
It sizzles. -
Thank you all so very much
susan~~~~~ -
don't touch it!
Very nicely done Susan! I am just learning the difference between both haiku and senryu also.
~Gayla~ -
neutral
This is good .. :)
As haiku has mentioned though..senryu is the same form as haiku, just more of a emotion based poem...haiku traditionally is about nature :) -
don't touch it!
Hi there!!!!!! I'm here to visit. Wonderful poem. I love senryu and haiku (both traditional and/or non-traditional). You probably already know and please don't take this wrong but a senryu is the same physical structure as a haiku utilizing the 5,7,5 syllable format. It's tradition is human condition with a satirical twist to it. Very fun stuff. Modern times has allowed complete flexibility though and even in Japan they don't always follow the old meter. Anyway, wonderful write and that is the real point. Well done........... thanks for the invite. Monk -
excellent
Beautiful and such few words to express your thoughts.
:o)Desiree -
don't touch it!
Susan, short and so sweeeeet. The animation is a brilliant li'll add-on. Thank you -tj- -
don't touch it!
Yup that was great! -
don't touch it!
Oh that's nice... Well done
(((HUGS)))
Pat -
don't touch it!
You did a first-rate job on your very first Senryu. The images leap out at you with the passion and fever of lovemaking. ***Ivy Rose -
don't touch it!
*Sighing*
MMmmmmm
Sammy -
don't touch it!
Susan..this is beautiful...love it...~~~GILL~~~ -
oh ok my first Senryu lol
i only did a few haikus thanks for pointing that out
Blessings
Susan~~~ -
neutral
Hi Susan ... This is actually a senryu (a haiku is 3 lines and 5-7-5 syllables) ... but as Kelly said, you captured the full essence. Please write some more. Perhaps you may do some 'pure' haiku with nature as inspiration, and with strong seasonal content. I am very inquisitive to see what you do with the more traditional form.
Lovely reading you. Kindest Regards, Myra -
don't touch it!
Oooooooo... that last line seals it with a kiss ! Great write, nicely done :-) -
Awh Thanks Kelly for reading appreciated!!!
Blessings
Susan~~~ -
don't touch it!
Very beautiful write, Susan. Captured the full essence in so few words--great expression, excellent choice of words. Great write all the way around. What more can I say? :)Kelly
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