Pale blue sheets strewn across the floor
a place so cold and emotionless
the calm scenery of a room i knew well
one of a thousand songs and countless words
a closed window lets the air get old
shut blinds allow little light in
the way it had always been;
endless memories and moments left there
to sleep till someone dares to awaken them
no feeling but that of uncertainty
all sense of security lies elsewhere;
a bed, almost eerie in its tranquility
as if loathing the presence of anyone who desired to change it
the mere touch of a hand makes it shiver
an action few could notice
small objects placed throughout the room
objects that have laid still for so long
fearing all who come near;
to hear the words once spoken in this room
to discover the emotions once felt in this room
to free the life once held in this room
how cruel has this fate left it to be
eternity knowing no change, no peace;
of all emotions once felt, one remains,
confusion,
so strong it still leaks from the walls
from the objects i know
from the bed i know
from the room i know so well
so bold in its sanity that it almost seems dead
for there is no one to listen to its thoughts
and it fears those who would;
a boy, once unique in his mind
had left his tale in this room
they were his words, his emotions, his life
He ended it all in this room
but his story remains
who will hear it?
Author notes
Written November 9th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
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its a reeally good piece, l think anyways...... ^,..,^ great job!
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i agree, so i changed the end to something with more of a real end, its not all that good but i like it better then what i first had, you should read it if u have time.
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I liked the way you developed this story and the sort of mysterious air that you had surrounding that room. The language used up to about three fourths of this was great, and I loved the way it pulled my thoughts inside the room and made me feel as if I looked around it in my mind. Personally, the ending of this poem seemed to sort of fall away from the quiet suspense that had been built up. I guess I was just a little disappointed in the anti-climactic closure. But that was just my own impression from it. Overall, though, a well written piece... keep up the good writes.
-Renae.
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