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The Mirror By The Bed

There's a head
Then there's a shoulder
Though it is dark
I'm sure that it's older.

A smaller frame
By the other one
Maybe a daughter
Perhaps, it's a son?

A window pushes past
Gold curtains let in light
There is a bent moon
On this Autumn night.

What else do I see?
What else shall I find?
Reflections of me
Warmed by the wine.

A fence past the window
A house past the fence
A street light, it flickers;
As I make amends.

Author notes


Written November 9th, 2004

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Nereida Nightshade
    December 12, 2006

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    Very beautfull had a sort of haunting feel to it. Its got a great flow to it and it reall captures. Thanks for entering and best of luck!!!


  • angelofthecentury
    November 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    i ike the way this is writin once more the words fall completly into place the way they should its kinda like a poem i wrote reflection about looking in the mirror all though its not as vivid as yours is its more about not knowing who i am but as before well writin a brilliant piece of work i hope you continue to write im having a contest soon and i bid you join and i would like it if you read some of my work ty

  • LaBelle
    October 21, 2005
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    I'm not really sure what this is about...then again, I'm not really sure what some of MY pieces are about...but anywho, does this actually have anything to do with mirrors/eyes? If so, please clarify, because I can't see the connection.

    Also, the flow was very off in the first few stanzas. Maybe I'm the only one bothered by that lol...if that's the case, you can just completely ignore this.

  • -saved-
    November 19, 2004
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    I like this... I actually kind of get it... and I like it... The ryhme was the best!!! Good job! Keep writing and good luck in my contest! Laters.
    ~Lost~

  • Poem Freak
    November 12, 2004
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    this is a wonderful piece. even tho, i don't know exactly what u meant, it's still wonderful. u'll hafta tell me what it means later or sumthing.
    Alesha


  • Naughtygrlred
    November 12, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    you know it's funny, thru the looking glass! Muah jeremi< I got some happiness, to share, here rub the screen and pass it on! I hope you win, you are a great writer!


  • My Seven Miseries
    November 11, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    way good! (keanu reeves voice) i like the line about the street light.. i don't know why. sometimes when i walk under street lights and look at them they go out... but that has nothing to do with this. your poetry, though beautiful, has an ominous note quite often.. i get many ideas from this peice, so i can't give my analysis at all.. i wont even try. nice job!!!
    Edited on Nov 11, 11:10 because 'typo in my ramble'.


  • November 10, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    meet me at the Sizzler


  • PVT Praters Girl
    November 9, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    :)

    Hmmmm, kinda confused as to what this may mean but the wording was great and hopefully you can shed some light upon my ignorance. lata!


  • Nyx Iscariot
    November 9, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    ooh, the last line makes me think you did something naughty.

    N...

1 - 10 of 10