Twas the night before battle, and all through the field
Not a single man stirred as he slept propped on his shield
His sword and his spear lay still by his bed
Visions of young virgins danced through his head
Nearby children snuggled in desert houses
As husbands cuddled with their lovely young spouses
Not a thought was turned to the campfires outside city walls
As guards wandered aimlessly through torch-lit halls
When outside in the sand there arose such a noise
That it frightened young girls and startled young boys
Away to the walls a guard scrambled in haste
When he made it confusion swept over his face
The moon cast on the dunes a deep blue hue
The stars twinkled in the sky as a desert owl flew
But the guard’s gaze was fixed on the sight down below
It was campfires – thousands – by their red-orange glow
A man rose amidst them, masses crowded around
He knew in a heartbeat it was Moses he’d found
By the robes and the staff and the cold angry glare
He knew that with dawn not a man would be spared
“Now AARON! Now, A-BI’HU! Now, GER’SHON and ZITH’RI!
On JETH’RO! On KO’RAH! On IZ’HAR and LIB’NI!
To the very gates of the city, scale the very walls!
March your troops quickly! March away all!”
In unison the soldiers rose up from their tents
Gathering into formation with sanguine intent
They charged across the sand, a horde of devastation
Towards the city they surged without hint of hesitation
And then, as dawn came, they entered the village
Troops ready to slaughter, to rape, and to pillage
As the town’s guards gathered in faltering hope to resist
Moses spotted young girls and waved a clenched fist
Dressed all in robes with a staff blessed by the lord
He pointed at the virgins with the tip of a sword
“Slay not the young women, keep them for the priests
They shall be the dessert that follows our feasts”
His eyes, how they glimmered, his face, how it sneered
As the villagers fell by the thousands, skewered and speared
His grim demeanor sparing nothing as he took it all in
His beard doing little to hide his sinister grin
Scars of battle adorned this war leader’s face
As the lines of aging granted him a reverent man’s grace
A thick gray beard protruded ’neath the cowl of his cloak
A crackle of power accompanied the words that he spoke
“The lord commandeth that these idolaters die by the sword
Know with the stroke of your blade you are fulfilling His word
Burn all of their buildings, all the cattle and sheep
Leave no structure standing that is not a smoldering heap!”
He spoke no other words, but went right to work
Dividing spoils amongst his priests with the aid of his clerks
With timely precision each got his share of young maids
To be marched out of the city in a shackled parade
Moses and his minions marched from the city soon after
Their packs full of loot, their hearts full of laughter
And all that could be heard above the din of the horde
Was a heartfelt prayer to their savior and lord
Author notes
This poem is a take on Moses and the Israelites, who throughout much of the Old Testament went around slaughtering and killing people. The city is a generic unnamed city, one of the countless ones that fell to the army of Israelites in their campaign to eradicate the heathens of the surrounding lands in the name of God. The names are taken from the old testament, when a list of of the tribes of Egypt are read off as fathers and their sons are named among their tribes. Now, a quote from Letters from the Earth:
"There is nothing in either savage or civilised history that is more utterly complete, more remorselessly sweeping than the Father of Mercy's campaign among the Midianites. The official report deals only in masses, all the virgins, all the men, all the babies. all 'creatures that breathe,' all houses. all cities. It gives you just one vast picture ...as far as the eye can reach, of charred ruins and storm-swept desolation... Would you expect this same conscienceless God, this moral bankrupt, to become a teacher of morals, of gentleness, of meekness, of righteousness, of purity?"
-Mark Twain, "Letters from the Earth"
Reference:
Numbers 31:7-18, KJV
"[The Israelites] warred against the Midianites, as the LORD commanded Moses; and they slew all the males. [...] And the children of Israel took all the women of Midian captives, and their little ones, and took the spoil of all their cattle, and all their flocks, and all their goods. And they burnt all their cities wherein they dwelt, and all their goodly castles, with fire. And they took all the spoil, and all the prey, both of men and of beasts. [...] And Moses said unto them, Have ye saved all the women alive? [...] Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves."
Written November 7th, 2004
A contest entry
- Tired of all these so called by tarnishedheart.
300 points, ended October 16, 2005, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 43 of 43
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Good discussion. I'd like everyone to squirm in their seats and try to fight their way out of this conundrum each time I get whipped with a Bible.
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Very very interesting...and yet another variation on a night before Christmas... used to love doing variations for different places I found myself around Christmas, and this one sure fit for battle. Not a half bad job, and I do like how you fit the poem. Creative.
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nice story
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This poem left me speechless and questioning your stance. I wasn't sure until I read the author's comments, thanks for including them, very informative.
What a wonderfully original poem, when so many are writing about love and cutting you have shown a knowledge into such a large and important issue.
I am not a religious person because I find so many injustices and wrongs within the structures I have visited. This poem I hope will allow people to question the faiths that some so blindly follow. Great job.
And before I end this rant. What a wonderful idea to put it to, The Night Before Christmas" you were able to follow the format beautifully. The use of such a common tale to a subject that so many are ignorant too, really drove home the reality of the history you are discussing here. -
...Moses and his minions marched from the city soon after
Their packs full of loot, their hearts full of laughter
And all that could be heard above the din of the horde
Was a heartfelt prayer to their savior and lord ...
You have an amazing talent for capturing the autrocities (sp?) of christian history, and the "sins" of the church. I find your writes to be informative and quite accurate in detail... Very well written.
On a side note...I've noticed that atheists and non christians tend to read the bible more than the christians have...which I find ironic.
Bestest wishes and all that other mushy, gushy stuff
~Meli~
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Twas The Night Before Christmas!A story well told.
You've captured the ridiculous while being so bold.
With deft hand and willing heart,
a religion you've torn apart.
Interesting the combination of Christmas mixed with the
historical line and religious fever. Very interesting.
Your a complex person as most of us are. I found the
poem to be excellent, its use of rhyme very good. I do
hope you will continue to write. We all must write about
that which "inspires" us. We read such and comment about
things which we find interesting. You've shown such a
great interest in this composition! Good for you. Keep penning! -
This is excellant...and interesting.
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Oh my gosh, this was absolutely wonderful. I loved this write, you have great talent for expression and imagery. your usage of words were wonderful. I really loved this. thank you for sharing it.
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Fantastic!
Twas The Night Before Christmas!A story well told and the imagery is marvellous along with the descriptive vocabulary.This is an unusual and very clever piece of writing and the flow was amazingly good!Really well done! -
Your Poetry Rocks! It is so awesome and you convey emotion very very well. Keep on being so creative and good luck in life!
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Numbers 31:7-18, KJV
"[The Israelites] warred against the Midianites, as the LORD commanded Moses; and they slew all the males. [...] And the children of Israel took all the women of Midian captives, and their little ones, and took the spoil of all their cattle, and all their flocks, and all their goods. And they burnt all their cities wherein they dwelt, and all their goodly castles, with fire. And they took all the spoil, and all the prey, both of men and of beasts. [...] And Moses said unto them, Have ye saved all the women alive? [...] Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves."
There you go. That is my justification for using Moses and it is probably the (or one of the) passages that inspired the Mark Twain quote used in in my author's comments that in turn inspired me to write this poem. I'll also add this to my author's comments so others know where I am drawing this from. -
Wow. At first I didn't know if you were mocking the Bible or just plain insulting it...but after reading the author's comments, I understand. Unfortunately, it's not just Biblical characters who believe in war and killing people, so did many other Christians. Anyway, I like how you made it somewhat of a parody of Twas The Night Before Christmas. The rhyming was good, though the subject was a bit too...serious and controversial for my taste. Christians are hypocrites, but everyone sins, everyone is a hypocrite at some point. That's all I'm going to say on the matter. Good poem
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Your first paragraph could easily come right from me. I am an amatuer Biblical researcher and only *after* becoming an atheist have I really gotten into studying it on and off. I'm not a Bible scholar and don't pass myself off as one. Nonetheless, laymen like myself are not completely ignorant and a read through the Old Testament, especially with selected passages found on sites like evilbible.com are capable of rendering us adequately knowledgeable about it.
I'm with you on the last part, of course every religion has its "bad apples", but Christianity is the one I belonged to, and besides the Judeo-Christian religion, little of the other religions have any significant impact on me. I'm not going to go out of my way to target Hindus just for the sake of giving every religion its due criticism, that would be absolutely ridiculous. Christianity, of them all, where I'm at, is the most widespread, influential, and pervasive of them all, and the one that is most ingrained in my life experiences and in the culture around me. That's why I write about it. -
I'll admit as well that I know little of either Testament, Old or New. I'm too impatient to read it all, and to be honest, I don't really care; I know enough about it to get by. This is not to say I take pride in being ignorant, or that I'm ignorant at all; just that I feel I know enough as it is.
That said, there's not much here I can add. I can imagine that most of what happened throughout the Bible shouldn't be taken literally, as most of its meaning is hidden behind metaphors and exaggerations. A good example would be the tale of Moses parting the Red Sea because of God's power; did this really happen? It's doubtful; more than likely, if he really did part a body of water, it wasn't the Red Sea, and was probably a smaller body of water. I cannot speculate on possible canidates in place of the Red Sea because I honestly don't know the area too well, but I hope you get my point.
I think it should be known that Christianity (or rather, some of its more radical [and idiotic] followers) isn't the only religion to have a history full of hatred and bigotry--Judaism and Islam are two other big religions whose more radical and foolish followers often carried out racism, hatred and bigotry on a wide scale, and unfortunatley, this has carried into today's world. However, those are just two other examples, namely because they're the other two of the so-called "Big Three," I suppose you could say, of religions. Every religion has its share of stupidity and arrogance amongst its followers--not just Christianity. -
Thanks, maybe I'll do that. My commenting on people's work is few and far between, as I generally prefer to argue with people...I'm a debatemonger of sorts, but perhaps I will, perhaps I will.
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hey this poem is really long, but don't worry because it is just as good as it is long, this real was very intriguing and was almost blown out of my seat, bravo man keep up the gook work and you should check out some of my work sometime, im new to this so hit me back
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Eh. I really read through a lot of the Old Testament in the last week and Moses fots the occasion just fine. I'll have to keep it how it is.
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nice write. i dont now anything really about Moses or Joshua, or any of them, so i cant say how it would be most effective. nice write though, and good luck in the contest!
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Hey. Read up on Joshua. I remember the story of the walls of Jericho.
http://www.aboutbibleprophecy.com/p36.htm
And this queued me in on his portfolio of warfare. Pretty impressive. Thanks for keeping me in check - I like to be reminded that there's a hell of a lot I don't know, but shit, at least I'll admit it. Anyway, I still think Moses is the better choice, not for historical reasons, but for ... hmm, I don't know what the term would be - but I'll use an analogy. I have the poem "F*** Jesus", and you might point out that "F*** Paul" would be a lot more appropriate. I take a hell of a lot more issue with Paul than Jesus, but if I had a "F*** Paul" poem, I don't think it'd have nearly as much impact on readers. For all they know, I could be pissed at the Beatles. -
Praise baby Jesus for a useful and well thought out comment. I will, however, disagree with you about Joshua. There's enough accounts of Moses involvement in war that I feel justified in using him, though you're right, Joshua would fit the image of a warlord that I portray better. Problem is, Joshua wouldn't be recognized as easily by many readers - mainly because it's a fairly generic name, and also because so many people are simply ignorant about the Bible, in particular...the Old Testament. Hell if I know a damn thing about Ruth or Methusalah. So...using Moses, I think, would connect with more readers more readily. I don't know - that's a consideration, I didn't really think about it, and while I have a vague knowledge of Joshua, to be honest, I don't know much about him. and speaking of not knowing enough about Joshua (or Methusalah, for that matter!), that leaves me feeling like I have an obligation to myself and to others to fill in the all-too-numerous gaps of knowledge I possess pertaining to the Bible.
"But the real power of this comes as an analogy of what is happening in Iraq today by Bush."
Interesting. I'm not sure that even occurred to me, but it works for me. Maybe on some unconscious I put some of that into this - more than possible, I'd say.
Edited on Mar 21, 1:13 p.m. because ''. -
intriguing write
I enjoyed the comments more than the poem. It's rather strident for my taste. I agree that Joshua would have been a better pick than Moses, who spent all of his time leading the Israelites around through a desert -- 40 years as I recall. Then he died before he could enter Canaan as somebody up there said. Joshua now was a different sort. Since I'm a wild-eyed liberal myself, and can't abide conservatives at all, I have to agree with you that the Old Testament is a testament to bigotry and hatred. Other than that, I can't really get into all of the side issues. It would take me all night. The poem itself is unique in its gestalt, and the writing is good. I am not as happy with everything you say in it, however. There's too much in it that is mere filler for rhyme effect, "scared young girls and startled young boys" for instance, is just a way to say he scared the kids in more syllables to fill up a line. As far as your opinions go, I am not agreeing with you 100 per cent but I am not disagreeing with you either. Many modern Christians as a group have become narrow-minded and vicious, which is certainly something Christ would have abhorred. The guard who beat that guy at Guantanamo and said "it's because I'm a Christian" was a disgrace to the Christian religion. Preachers who preach hate and bigotry from their pulpits for purposes of raising money are a disgrace too. However, there are similar people in every religion, every nationality, every race. You would have had a better poem if you'd attacked bigotry and hatred rather than a specific religion.
Edited on Mar 20, 8:13 p.m. because 'typo'. -
This poem,while not subtle,is extremly cynical,and thats not a bad thing. Its funny whats goes on in the name of god,isnt it?People have 'Holy Wars" all the time,yet the same wars that were fought for the same reasons over a hundred years ago are foolish and mislead.Yet...We have wars now for the same reason.
This poem makes me think of the bitter irony of life and the human mind.
I loved the rhyme scheme and how you worded everything. Its cool that you managed to take a childs poem and change it into something so much more....Complicated and adult. The blatant honesty hits my heart and makes me think.
All in all a great write. -
This would have been way more effective in what you were atte4mpting to achieve if you had used Joshua or even David. Moses is probably the wrong character to use as most of the slaughters took place after the Hebrews entered the Promised Land and the establishment of the Kingdom of Solomon. Moses died before he entered Canaan.
However, this is not a poem about that as much as the hypocrisy of the prophets and atrocities committed in the name of God. But the real power of this comes as an analogy of what is happening in Iraq today by Bush. There are stanzas in this which are brilliant, most are very good and others that need to be tightened as they, let the team down. Well thought out and reasonably well done- use Joshua, as he was much more like the character you are trying to portray. In fact he is exactly like.
David
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And it could so easily apply to the hordes of Sharon and his murderers killing innocent Palestinian children. Times are a changing, I don't think! Well written!
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wow, I love it. The bitterness and the bite just drew me in more and more each line. Irressistably good!
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I did not and am not putting down your beliefs - precisely because I don't know what your beliefs are. I commented that I think your response was too disjointed and vague to make much sense of. You said you didn't like how I handled my poem - I would appreciate knowing why not, and how I could improve. What about your beliefs differ from my own? Does my piece allow you to accurately infer what my beliefs are? I'm not trying to come off as hostile. I think I did; I apologize. I get too many obnoxious people who basically say "you suck and your poems suck" in more or less words, and don't give me anything worthwhile. I think most poets on here prefer honest and valuable critiques - even if they are harsh - to vague generalities, positive or negative (ex. "awesome man" "i don't like this", et cetera)
"Okay you are liberal so what?"
*Quizzical look* What's a liberal? -
good write
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My point
You did not read what I wrote and frankly I never said that I disliked the poem. I said and I do not need anyone to pop off anything in the bible to me thank you very much. I have studied it for years. You see you came back with what I said that I would not do and that is put down my beliefs. Okay you are liberal so what? I can agree to disagree with anyone and still say that they wrote a good piece. Think on what I read and take your head out of the disillusion that you feel because it is easy to get that way. I chose to believe how I do because it is my choice. Isn't that what being a liberal is all about or is that to hard a concept to get into and only belongs to the liberals? I am content in the person that I am accept that others do not believe or disbelieve as I do. -
I never read the bible, lol. I know, that is wrong of me, but I havent. But the emotion was strong, and you opinion of your views were very unique. I really did enjoy the emotion that I felt. This was very flowing. Excellent Piece. BRAVO!
-Veira Ash -
What's "extreme" about my point of view? It's a simple and clear-cut fact to me that atrocities are rampant throughout the Old Testament. I don't find that disheartening or terrible - what I find terrible is the ignorance that has insinuated itself into our society and has deluded, poisoned, and tainted the minds of what would be otherwise brilliant human beings full of potential. Christianity and other dogmas like it are mind-diseases that plague human kind, propegating harmful memes throughout humanity and instilling in minds lies, nonsense, absurdities, and paradigms that restrict their ability to think rationally, clearly, and freely. Therefore, I believe that religion is the most harmful thing to the human race, and as much of the more vulnerable portions of nature appear to be at our mercy, the strain is felt on the entire planet when an unenlightened and reckless band of creatures lay waste to it. That being said, I consider religion the single most harmful and insidious thing that exists in this world.
Jaded? Of the world, sure, of the endless swarms of human stupidy...definately, but you say that like it's a bad thing. Do you want a sampling of the horror and atrocities from the Old Testament? I can pop off one after another endless until I run out of space to even make a post.
A critique of my poem is always appreciated, as well as opinions regarding it, but your response is too disjointed for much sense to be made of it. Why is it that you don't like my poem, I hope it's not because "I [you] would not write this way because of my own beliefs". If that's the case, all I can do is shrug dismissively - I don't dislike other people's poems merely because I disagree with them or wouldn't write using similar content/style. -
Unique
It is one of extremes and from a jaded point of view. I read it and have studied bible for years. No I will not say what you think that I am going to say except that Mark Twain was one of my favorite authors and he was an athetist but did finally admit to going to the other side. Which brings out a point that a chaplain friend said you have to believe in something in order to not believe. From the way you handled it I do think you did well with the piece and the subject as you wrote it. I would not write this way because of my own beliefs. However a true Christian if you will sees the point you are making and can read it secure in the knowledge by doing so that a bolt of lightning is not going to strike them down. I believe that the history of the bible was that there were some stinkers that became leaders and they had issues. This is what people have to learn to deal with and deal with it constructively. -
Fantastic poem, have to say I did giggle a bit in the lines:
“Now AARON! Now, A-BI’HU! Now, GER’SHON and ZITH’RI!
On JETH’RO! On KO’RAH! On IZ’HAR and LIB’NI!
obviously the whole poem is based on "twas the night before christmas" and that line obviously the bit with the reindeer. Seriously a great read cleverly written and researched. You certainly deserve to win if you didn't!
Take care
Snafu -
why the hell wouldnt you read it all? who cares if its a bit long - it had me hooked from the first line .. very well written poem here - thank you for posting it
- Cassondra 
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Excellent piece of writing, you have great talent, you have a feel for pathos, your words flowed in this poem well written
keep up the good work -
Wow...lol...you really did get that subtle, biting cynicism. You also have a truly good control of language - not many people would think to throw "sanguine" into a poem, heh. Captured my interest all the way through - Great write!
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it was so long. i had to think about wether or not i would even read it. i like how you were able to keep the rhyme scheme through out. especially seeing how long it is. the title through me off a whole lot. i really have no comment for the poem. i noticed it was written well. the story was good. all in all. good job with this. did you win the challenge?
Blu -
No no no - you've got it all wrong. Don't you see? My poem is way off base - I took the Old Testament out of context!
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And they were men, even then... prone to disavow one another in battle. We often wonder if we have become more civilzed and then we look back and at present day and notice that nothing has changed. Those zealoots that avenge in the name of God, are possibly not in touch with God at all but with selfish wanton behavior and God once again is to blame.
There is an onslought of passion in your words. You are a true poet.
~mt~
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If one takes the bible, literally, well...See Rambler's comment above...I would agree with him I think about this piece...
Passion, Creativity and one wonders though, where it came from, was it the Mark Twain or..?
Unfortunately, I think men have been doing this since time began... -
A poem of extremes. On one end it is very creative and is obviously animated by a deep seated passion about what is written, something every poet should display. One the other end it totally misinterprets and mischaracterizes the meaning of those Old Testament events.
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Oooo very catchy poem. When I saw the title I have no idea why but I had the image of Moses orgasming haha. Yeah I guess they missed out all this stuff in the bible. I bet Noah was a peadophile to he looks the type. Always though that story was a bit iffy. And Samson was gay, left that out I bet you as well. Anywayyys very enjoyable. Peace <3
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Fucking awesome... really a brilliant display of both artistic merit and a new paradigm on the past. Really this was something I've never studied much in depth (considering I'm closer to burning Bibles than reading them) so it was both entertaining and informative to me. Accolades for this my friend; well placed accolades.
Matthew -
Pfft. Gives you a true perspective of God's "greatness," doesn't it? Awesome write. Not many people realize the horrors that occured within the Old Testament; they all believe that they were justified acts. Here you have a great take on the reality of things. Great job, keep it up!
-Jenny
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