Not even your life
so much more precious
you call her a angel
because she is one but on earth
tonight she could have become a real angel
she would have been beautiful
her chubby cheeks rosy and happy
i can see her dancing around in little white robe
with a golden halo
i never want to have to picture her like that now
i want her here instead with spaghetti on her face
and a evil little grin from getting into my make-up
if i ever call her spoiled again
i can guarantee it will be my fault she's that way
she is a little angel and mine to keep
i won't be done with her
not this week
i wish i could take back those 5 hateful words
i would say them daily for no reason but self pity
i spoke to soon because now they just seem petty
if i ever lost her my heart would be crushed
not just a piece but the whole thing in full
tonight was a close call, one that i never wanted to imagine
now i can't get the image of her blue lips out of my mind
i never reacted so emotionally so quickly
the tears sprang up before a full thought settled in my mind
then the ambulance came and a flash back of another time came rushing back
i hate those flashing red and white lights
they bring nothing but sadness from my memories
but i know the out come is good
but tonight is taking to long
i want to be there so she's not scared
i only want the image of her sleeping peacefully in my mind
her rocking out to the Go-Go's
spinning and giggling when Dora is on
when she gets home she'll laugh and play and get all her heart desires
and my little angel will soon be dancing again.
Author notes
So i had the scariest experience of my life tonight, and now erikas accident is running second to this when it had first for a long while there, my little sister is in the hospital because she had a fever of 103.6 and we let her go play for no more than 5 minutes while we finished dinner and when my step-grandma went to check on her she found lying down with blue lips because she stippoed breathing and was having a seizure-so i am never taking that little girl for granted again, i know she'll be fine but i think my heart stopped for longer than was healthy for me when i saw her like that
Written November 6th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
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I knew you'd love her like Woah, and don't feel bad about those five little words, there just words, and you actions speak ten times louder then they do. You love her like no other and I swear she thinks your her mom. She's gonna grow up remebering how her older sister took such good care of her and how much she loves her.
<3 Eirka -
oh my gosh, jess im so sorry...
would you like to plan girls night another weekend? -
OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!! That is so freakin scary Jess. I am sorry. I would have had a heart attack... seriously. Goodness... I don't even know what to say. I am sorry really, but i don't think apologies help any. I am glad that she will be okay. As for you, how are you? Oh god... haha (nervous chuckle) i don't know what to say. I hope to talk to you soon. i wrote you a letter. I love you and i miss you a ton!!!
LOVE
Kasia
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