Asphyxiation.
In your bag of lies.
In my bag.
My body bag.
The final goodbye.
A final farewell.
Tipped hat, and a curtsy.
Your kiss was bitter.
It stings still.
Just a little.
Tell mom that I'm sorry.
For everything I've done.
Hide my scars.
Hide my tears.
Please don't cry.
You'll make me feel worse.
If it is at all possible in my state.
Which state is that?
A point where there is no return.
No U-turn.
No reverse.
Only go forward.
Never go back.
But oh how I wish I could.
There is no manual for life.
I have made my own for death.
And so it reads.
'Your life is death, masked by fear.'
'Die tonight. Live tonight.'
'New life comes from your death.'
A circle. A cycle.
Remorse. Regret. Dwell. Forget.
If only It was that easy.
If only I wasn't so quick to trust.
You, of all people.
Your intentions filled with lust.
Harder to breathe.
Put this bag over my head.
Suffocate.
Advocate.
Dominate.
Me. And everything I was.
You held the key.
But you lost it along the way.
So here I lay.
Locked up in misery.
Locked up insanity.
Locked, like a journal which holds my deepest secrets.
I cannot be picked.
You cannot look in.
Every thing is safe inside.
Every little sin.
So with a tipped hat, and a curtsy.
I make my way to the door.
You shall never see my face again.
Unless it's planted in the floor.
Open casket my love.
So you can take one last look.
Into the eyes of a tormented lover.
After which the dirt will soon cover.
And this is her final bow.
As the curtains fall.
The show is over.
There is nothing left.
I am nothing.
There's nothing left.
Author notes
my final writing on AP... I wont be here anylonger.. so long. farewell. I hate to say adieu. *tips hat*
Written November 4th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
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I've considered leaving many times...it does hurt very much....all the pain...believe me...i know. I hope u reconsider too! You are a nice person, please don't leave. We need nice ppl like u in the world! And yes..just have hope! -hugs- Oh yah, this is a lovely sad poem. I like it. Please stay. There is tonnes left...so much left...just dig deep...give yourself things to look forward to. I may only be 17, but you can talk to me if yuh want! again -hugs-!
~Sheko -
this is soo sad...i think its the most sadest ive read of your poems...its filled with such sorrow, grief, sadnes, loss,dispair...its really good.
i like the idea of it being a play..and the curtain falling. its really effective.
hope your ok.please be careful....u know, tomorow might be better. just have hope.
love you
~ania~ -
A gifted soul!
This is so beautifully written even though so devastatingly sad. I'm not here to judge for I know exactly how you feel. What I don't know, is how it feels to be blessed with such a gift of writing. It would be a shame to throw that away, my friend. Please think everything through very carefully. You are wanted. God bless.
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So very sad
This was heart wrenchingly sad my friend. There is so much pain and hurt in your words. Things will be brighter, there is always a tomorrow. I really do hope you reconsider. You have a wonderful gift of words. This was just an excellent write filled with descriptive imagery. It is my hope that you will give it some thought...to stay. Thank you for sharing this heart touching write.
--Johnny
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