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Title given at end

Thinking about the possibilities
Of being without you
You are a part of me
I can't do anything without you
Attached to the rest of me
Giving aid when needed
How could you do this to me?
At the most crucial point of my life
You develop a thick skin
No matter what I do
You cause pain
I can't do anything right
You're there, blazing red
And I'm here, not knowing how or why

Author notes

This poem is called "My Poor Dead Finger". It's weird, yes I know. But it's about when I got an infection on my left index finger. An insect bit it, I cut it at work, and it got infected. It went all swollen and stuff, with a thick skin. It happened a few weeks before I was due to perform live on the radio, and I needed that finger to play guitar. I started panicking and thought I'd lose my finger or something. But it got better, and I played on the radio.

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • bw43
    March 11, 2007
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    LoL. I totally didn't expect this to be about a finger! I liked that... it was original... what a twist... it wasn't at all what it sounded like it would be about...

    i liked it.

    thanks for the entry and good luck in the contest


  • Sadistic Lavender
    June 7, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I love pieces that leave you in the dark without the author's comment box! - I love applying the story line to the poem. This was an interesting piece, very interesting. The grammar & spelling seemed to be perfect - the only thing I'd consider revising is that in the first couple lines - two of the lines end with 'without you'. That's not a huge problem or anything, but it seemed... needlessly repetitive. It would be spicier, better, etc if you figured out a way to incorporate your finger, into being off your hand - just a SUBTLE hint of the story behind this - because there was absolutely none. Heh, anyway, just a suggestion! I really enjoyed this piece.


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    November 7, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you so much for entering the contest. You are awesome.

    ~whisper

  • DevilsWrongHand
    November 4, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    nice write

    Keep up the wonderful work. It is kinda wierd but it's still so good.
    Love,
    ~laura


  • November 2, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Never would have guessed that... NEVER NEVER... lol. Again since cough AP wasn't recording the comments. Wonderfully done me dear. Wonderfully done

    ~!~ Petal ~!~

1 - 5 of 5