Waiting for the crimson river to run its course
It all slowly passes away under the faint night light
I follow the crimson streak, swallowed deep in remorse
My drying vein pulses struggling to keep in the fight.
Crimson drops pound lightly on the cold floor
Accumulating to create a bitter pool of loss
Crimson impurity flowing from my arm soaking my clothes, more
Fading consciousness I am already too far gone, so lost.
A bittersweet smile encroaches on this sorrow
I shall depart from this world through my crimson portal
What will happen without me tomorrow?
Does it matter, with this crimson stain proven mortal?
Flashing memory of the good times reminiscing fall
Remembering the bad, remembering the reason for crimson pain
Burning sensation will eventually fade into a lull
Crimson blood leaks away, I wont be back again.
Author notes
Please review this poem im in a rather dark mood
Written October 30th, 2004
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Comments
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I like the sound of the words "faint night light", it really give the line a certain ring. And the line "My drying vein pulses struggling to keep in the fight." is one of the most powerful poem lines I have ever heard! the oxymoron sense in the phrase "pound lightly" is so wonderful! I also like the rhetorical questioning you use in the third stanza. Wow it took me awhile to realize theres a rhyme scheme. wow blonde moment.. anyway.. its nice how yoo incorporated a certain rhyme scheme into this becuz most poems of this subject aren't written in such a way. I really like how meaningful the last line is as well. Overall nice write Josh, keep it up!
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