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Sitting Here #2

sitting here
wanting you
sitting here
knowing I can't have you
sitting here
wishing I could be with you

Author notes


Written October 28th, 2004

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

  • Gutter Ball
    November 6, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    thank you kim for commenting on my poem. I really appreciate it. and thanks for the pat on the back i need it from time to time.


  • KimKat
    November 3, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    short and sweet, but not without emotion, or meaning. sometimes short peices have the most meaning in them, like this one
    good write
    *pat on the back*
    xxxxx Kim xxxxx

  • Gutter Ball
    November 2, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    thank you for your comment. I really appreciate it.


  • Nam
    October 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    It's sometimes the short pieces, such as this, that grabs at us in such a way that it being short is just all that it needs to be. I feel that this piece is half-n-half of that perception. I feel it's short enough in what it's saying but at the same apparent time I feel there could be more done with it.

    There's a type of rhythm to it that gets halted by the 'knowing I can't' line and then continues on, I feel that's good and bad, I feel it's good in the sense of abruptness and telling the person the emotions in which you're feeling and bad in the sense that it halts the reader from reading on. But what can you do? Probably something less or more but the thought is within you and not I.

    It's a nice piece.