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Worthless

Missing image


Words fail


Fall

and

f

  u

    m

      b l
          e

for a metaphor

     to fly        above all

and call

as crooning

mourning doves

for

Love . . .



Author notes


Photo: "Mourning dove in flight" by Colorab at
www.birdforum.net

[Words: hyperlink to song]


Written October 22nd, 2004

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Comments

1 - 38 of 38

  • Kari gold member
    October 28, 2006
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    deep

    This is wonderful hun. It's so deep. I had to reread it a few times..the graphic is perfect with it!

    Kari


  • Maatkara gold member
    September 1, 2006
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    Thank you, Jamie! Funny thing is I didn't even remember that song till after I'd written this - but it seemed to complement it so well..

  • verses on flesh
    September 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This poem is such a perfect assesment of that song. I think it makes it much more powerful after hearing it. I read it first, then listened then read it again. Both poem and song are so true. And that picture is just.. skdhksdjh gorgeous. <333

    jamie


  • Ms Raneika
    February 11, 2006
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    quite a short intresting piece...the structure of the poem is quite unique and apealing thanks for entering my contest much love from Miss. Raneika

  • Pome
    January 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent way to say you don't know what to say!.. It's great. Good Luck


  • cherche -d -ame
    May 12, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I can not decide what I like better , the write or the picture. And putting them both together creates perfection ( rarely achieved ) Best of luck in the contest,
    Reenie


  • Maatkara gold member
    February 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    LOL! Thanks Yem! Yep, I was "just playing around", you got me! Nuffin wrong with me "pigeon", either.

    ~G


  • Yemassee gold member
    February 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    It may have been stumbling, but you'll notice that it is sort of intentionally ironic that you follow up that line with metaphors.

    What am I talking about? I don't know. I'm really an actor, I just play a critic on AP.

    Cool poem and the words are playful. I like how the formatting fits the theme--that elusive search for words that apply.

    Oh and, "Experimental Visual Enhancer." Just admit it--you were playing around!

    And that pigeon--I don't want to alarm you needlessly but I think there is something wrong with it--I mean, where are it's feet? Also, look at its wings--they are stuck in an upright position. Do you change the water in the bowl? Stagnant water might be doing something to the bird. The eyes, seems to have a dead stare. You might want to seek a vets opinion on this matter.

    Beyond all the jokes, the poem was good.


  • starrynightangel54
    January 13, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    wow this is beautiful... the picture really adds to it also... great write and keep it up! I love this poem its so gorgoeusly written. great write... I would applaud this but I dont have any applauds left sorry. how about a hug lol

  • Jaymielle
    January 8, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    A really simple yet complex message here. Your picture was a perfect complement, since the first line was "word's fail" I really like that you do present a metaphor for love, even though you say it can't be done, as if it is your humble attempt to describe the majesties of such an emotion, or something along those lines. I don't work with this type of form too much, but you seem to have done it really well, with the divisions of lines serving as punctuation. good job!

  • Maatkara gold member
    December 25, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you Colin! I think that species was so named because the sound of their calls seems 'mournful' (so common here they are hunted!). Adds some ambiguity.

    ~ G


  • ColinSJones
    December 25, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    this i like Gen makes me think why the dove is mourning for love lost or ??? great stuff

  • Nicole Hanna
    December 22, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful. I can't say much more than that. In a matter of 20 words or so, you've managed to grasp a feeling and intensity that is rarely captured in writing, even pages long. I love the soft feel to this piece and think I'll have to bookmark it and come back to it again later


  • Terry-too silver member
    December 17, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    If words fail we lose our voice
    unless pictures come along.
    Mine. Yours the obvious choice,
    for your words, they belong.


  • Mari Goes gold member
    December 16, 2004
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    Simply beautiful!

    Love and peace,
    Mari


  • poeticweaver gold member
    December 9, 2004
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    Lovely!

    What a wonderful way to capture imagery with words, I like this style, and creativity you have, and most of all your spiritual messages!

    You really have a way with words, must be that sweet heart they flow from!

    Keep being you, you're a blessing!

    -Timothy The Poetic Weaver


  • Maatkara gold member
    December 9, 2004
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    Thank you, Jenn! It is not my usual writing style either; just an experimental visual enhancement.

    ~ G

  • Sweet Briar
    December 9, 2004
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    I love the picture.. and this form of writing is all new to me... I guess it is diffrent from what I am used to... But I did enjoy it... It was beautifully written

    Jenn


  • Maatkara gold member
    December 6, 2004
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    Thank you for your kind accolade, Bonnie!
    A "bard", eh? Ok, but for me there's only one Poet.

    ~ G


  • BonnieQ silver member
    December 6, 2004
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    Exquisite

    Gen, the picture is gorgeous and the poem is quite beautiful, perfectly suited to the picture as well as your words. I also like the layout; this, too, brings the pieces together perfectly. I can't imagine why you do not consider yourself a poet. Seems to me you are quite a talented bard.

    Love and hugs, BonnieQ

  • Maatkara gold member
    December 4, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I'm glad you noticed that detail, Myra! Thank you
    That was my point and intention to combine them... For the metaphor to fly above AND call as mourning doves. See?

    ~ G


  • myrataal silver member
    December 4, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    Deeply spiritual

    A metaphor does not use "as" or "like" - the latter forms a simile, or a comparison ... To strengthen the use of the metaphor, I would suggest that the poet drops the "as" altogether ... Then words BECOME doves ... how apt! Lovely.

  • Maatkara gold member
    December 3, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, Tom! Aren't we, as aspiring poets, always searching for the perfect metaphor, or better way, to express the inexpressible? Mere words always seem to 'fall short' though... for me anyway.

    ~G

  • skinwalker 2
    December 3, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    (((Bows))))

    I don't understand the "metaphor" reference ~(I'm not that bright) but its a lovely peaceful ~fall~ .
    Thanks for sharing my friend ~~~Tom


  • Maatkara gold member
    December 1, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, Don! Your insights and comments are always very much appreciated!

    Gassho,

    ~ Gennelle


  • haikumonk gold member
    December 1, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    well "G"...... this works really nice. The falling and spacing of the words enhance the poem somewhat.... but even written in a straight line, the poem works well. The words stand up perfectly.... and the resonance behind them.

    Short poetry is my favorite. So many verbose poets ramble on and on about stuff and actually say very little. You demonstrate the skill of using fewer words while saying a lot.

    take care and many blessings to you,

    Don


  • Maatkara gold member
    November 25, 2004
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    Oh, thank you! I appreciate your comments; and welcome to AP.

    ~ G


  • November 25, 2004
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    Hi Maatkara, This was the poem that stood out. The dove's symbolism, expressive inner knowledge of the connection between the inner and the natural world. Sorry - when I explored your work ,I was not logged in so the name didn't appear - am a new member still making my way. Love your work still.


  • Sharon Corr gold member
    November 6, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Her wings stretched high towards the skies
    As I listen to the whisper within the garden of her eye
    the dove is a universal symbol of peace and love
    Their mournful woo- woo call in heavenly octaves

    Is the metaphor within the rhyme
    As we all seek love divine
    A mourning dove in search of love
    Soaring across the skies on winds of touch

    Touched by a dove, in love with desire in her soulful eyes
    Wings flutter and open with a cry as she flies away the crowned dove
    Hear the angels sing you’re my breath of love
    Falling her spirit rises around this beating heart flying with me to the skies

  • JoyBeingNow
    October 31, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    In the Heart:
    Diamond silence.
    All around:
    The grammar of God.

    I concur with MargaretG and Duana: Multi-layered poem - this is essentials of poetics, of communication, of the ever-elusive point of contact between the nameless and the Name.
    I love it.


  • duana
    October 30, 2004
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    Gorgeous picture by the way. Would be good to write a haiku on it.


  • duana
    October 30, 2004
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    wow, this does hit you on many levels. I am sorry- words ALWAYS fail me when I read your stuff.

  • Maatkara gold member
    October 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, Mike! Yes, doves are part of the pigeon family, but a bit smaller and daintier. I remember the spinifex pigeons in Oz, which were really doves. I can imagine how lush it must be in Queensland now, after the rains and coming into Summer, sounds wonderful. Ah, lovely warm memories. It was a good day here too, just a bit cooler.
    All the best to you and yours,
    ~ G


  • Nicolette gold member
    October 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    All the aspects of creativity!

    Exquisite poem, Gennelle, in emotional content, construction and impact! Oh, I just loved "words fail, fall and fumble for a metaphor to fly" - lovely aliteration as well! This poem has all the elements of creativity and movement...style, construction, metaphors, imagery, depth, aliteration, emotion, love....and of course, my favourite bird..the dove!

    ~ Nicolette

  • surfermike
    October 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    excellent vision

    smiles . .this is fantastic . .as margaret above interprets . .this has multiple levels as one would expect
    this is very evokative for me . .but i hear the dove .. same as pigeon ? they call constantly from my trees and garden . .they sound happy to me . .but they are calling for their mate and still i hear the chirping also of the wagtail and the pied larks chasing the magpie . . and the mynors gathered heckling over the bread scrasps softened in the rain . all is gree again . .the rqains have been again and the world is in heavy growth . .time for the lawn mower to take it's place again.
    what a beautiful day . .
    hope yours is too
    mike


  • MargaretG
    October 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    Very emotional

    This is very evocative, and I am understanding it on many levels. The image of the dove calling is sad, because that is the way I enterpret their sound.


  • Maatkara gold member
    October 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply



  • October 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    arr those failing, falling words, reaching wings across the air to break the impact. ouch, i think i landed on my beak.

1 - 38 of 38