Loosing myself to thoughts
of always running,
running frantically through scattered dreams
all coming at me a million miles a minute-
always off beat against the rhythm of my heart
I am constantly out of breath.
Detrimental are these premature feelings
of paranoia creeping up from behind me
always climbing,
climbing these tired walls
unable to decipher an illusion from reality
that leaves me closed in and near death.
Stripped are my raw intuitions
as it taunts me-
taunts the very essence of my soul
leaving me narrow and forgetful
of the simplistic acceptance
of all elements of surprise.
Sporadic it seeps in and out
penetrating my sanctuary,
my private sanctuary where my spirit soars
apart from all inhibitions placed by man
that’s left me time and time again
to walk away with tears in my eyes.
The weight of these mental exercises
just gets to be too much
and sends my voice crashing,
crashing down from all political chatter
that initiates this inconceivable fall
as ridicule is arched up and ready to catch me.
Before I’m oblivious, sanity breaks my fall
and out of this confusion I pull away,
far away from this cycle and into the arms of comfort
where I am replenished of what my mind once lost…
clarity reminds me of where I left hope
as strength arms this weary soul setting me free.
Author notes
Written October 28th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- anything goes!!!! by anyonita jenea.
310 points, ended October 30, 2004, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Best Three Pre-writes by piccola.
800 points, ended November 27, 2008, 140 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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this is deep and unless someone has shared these feelings i doubt they can truly understand. Paranoia really does slip up and take us unaware ... and it is a cruel foe. thank you for entering
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Hooked me once again, it's quite deep this time, absorbing all the thoughts gave me an extreme feeling of being there inside your piece fighting from the situation of something so familiar and rewarded eventually. This is beyond exceptional. I always love your works.
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ahhh i love the way you repeat certain words and phrases...i especially love the opening stanza..its great...
thank you for entering the finals and best of luck to you. blessed be.
anyonita -
I'm not sure exactly what you're talking about here, but for me it smacks of the rabid emotion this current political process seems to be conjuring in everyone around me. Folks who're normally sane and sensible seem to get so caught up in things that they start foaming at the mouth at the least provocation. I will be glad to see election day come and gone, whatever the outcome (which is hard for me to say around my own political opinions)...just so things settle down. This has been such a divisive time for us as a nation. I don't think I ever recall such a heated race (and I've seen more than a few.) Whatever you meant, good stuff or it wouldn't have raised such thoughts for me, I think.
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Wow.. I really hope this isnt a personal poem. I dont have Schizophrenia.. however you spell it, but I can sorta of relate to the poem with the anxiety attacks. I get those often. Feels like you cant breath and you're going to pass out. I'm sorry if this is something you have though. Very well written poem.
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its always nice when sanity decides to give you a call...... right before you fall face first down that big ol' rabbit hole. Nicely said
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