I'm as patient as Job himself
and as sweet as Mr. Rogers.
Really! I'm as peace-loving
as any ten draft-dodgers.
I don't want to hurt anybody.
Life is too precious and short.
But one thing really bugs me.
It's what I'm here now to report.
I can't stand these freakin' biscuitheads
who join this site under different names
and instead of acting like mature adults,
start playing childish, bonehead games.
Since they're hiding behind so many names,
they feel courageous attacking everyone
but different names can't hide brain damage
so their devious plans are soon undone.
And when their idiocy is exposed for all to see,
the weiner mysteriously disappears from sight,
then returns under one of their fake personalities
to back up the other one that just lost the fight!
Being the straight-forward guy that I am,
I assume only one person is arguing with me,
but it's really a whole ARMY of dumb asses
being controlled by some nut with MPD!
So there I am sparring with a bunch of kooks,
amazed by all the nonsense they scribble
and it never dawns on me for a moment
that I'm having an argument with Sybil!
I won't mention her name. She knows who she is.
It wouldn't be nice to bring down the other shoe.
But in case she reads this, I'd like her to know,
They have medication for people like you!
(MPD = Multiple Personality Disorder)
Author notes
To all my dear friends here at AP,
Don't worry about me. I was never authentically upset by my experience with this person. Thinking I was arguing with one person when I was really arguing with several was actually very amusing. The person even went to the trouble of creating a fake email address and harrassing me by email, complete with doctored photographs of me. They were hilarious. It was quite an insight into the demented mind. lol
Written October 25th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Allpoetry Battle ground by Sapo the Slasher.
300 points, ended October 28, 2004, 24 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Mark..this was so funny..i never heard of such a thing..commenting there own work..for god's sake..lol..your poem was excellent..
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ok!...i'll take that as a yes (prepares all her stalking gear and sets off)
xxx
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Hi Mari,
Anybody who could have a problem with someone as sweet as you is definitely in the whacko category. All I can say is it's too bad there's no way to deliver a 50,000 volt electrical charge to someone over the internet and leave just a little smoking charcoal briquet sitting on the chair where they were.
Okay, maybe that's a little harsh, but you know what I mean. lol
See ya!
Mark -
Painted Poet,
It sounds like this just might be the same person. I don't think I've ever heard of anything more sad than someone commenting on their own work under a different screen name. Wow. I'm glad this gave you and your sis-in-law a laugh. I hesitated to write it, not wanting to add to the person's dimensia - but I wrote it anyway. haha
Thanks,
Mark -
Hi Leanne,
Just revisiting some old responses and again was LMAO at your comment and question on this one. I've never heard a stalker asking for permission before. lol You are a crack-up.
Mark -
although you've been able to show humor in the situation,it is really pathetic that someone feels the need to hassle another person.this is a new one on me because i didn't realize people do this.i think your culprit has way too much time on hand.you did an excellent job in detailing this strange event.
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OMG lol this was funny...
now I see some baaad crap every day that is twisted and demented and created from lord knows where... but what you wrote in your author page?? OMG... serious help... glad you can be so humorous about it!! shows how strong and sincere a man you are.
omg lol I think I would have virtually shot her ass -
LOL, this is perfect, seems they come from darkened corners and simply want a rise. I have had this done to me on a different site and it is amazing the lengths that they will go to. Bravo on your piece!!
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hillarious
LOL..This write is totally priceless! I'm the sis in law Painted Poet was referring to in her comment..had to come read it myself..
I'm so thankful I'm only one person (usually,and when i'm not, i have the same name..hehe)
Love this write! Uncanny similarities to the person i know..as well as a couple i've noticed i don't know..LOL
much love & peace
~Pamela -
I so know what you mean! Not long ago the same happened with me, the girl even created two new ID's after I found out about the first fake one...strangely enough, she used names very similar to mine one was (I can write here 'she deleted it after I complained with the mods) Maris Witch lol and the other was something very close to the name Brida. The disturbed girl visited pages of friends of mine to tell them that she was my best friend, then she started to tell bad things about me. How is that? After been ignored by everyone, she gave up and didn't show up with Brida-alike-fake-ID anymore. I didn't find amusing her psycho IM's and comments, I guess you had more lucky than I laughing of all that situation.
I hope the person in question reads your poem and leave you alone. But one thing I must say, you are such a good 'orator' that maybe she just love arguing with you
Kisses and love,
Mari
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OMG…LMAO… I had read this to my sis-n-law over the phone who is a poet on this site… we died laughing cause we know someone on this site who fits this description PERFECTLY. I will mention no names. Although I would love to.. And I hope that she reads this… he he he.. Kind of wonder if your not writing about the same person I am talking about… she comments on her own work enters her own contest , Its kind of twisted if you ask me… but if people find happiness in this psycho way of living more power to them, as long as they leave me alone.. I really really hope that she reads this, open her eyes and stop this madness…Very ,,Very good write Mark. PAINTED
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I have noticed a male on this site who has at least four or five names that he uses. He often comments on his own poems several times (using his aliases). I wonder if he thinks no one notices and if he has nothing better to do with his time.
Now that 'Sybil's' game plan has been exposed, I hope that she leaves you alone. Enjoyed this!
Maureen
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lol...oh my...i have to say that i am very glad that i have not encountered any of these ppl...well i guess i should say any of these personalities...its quite sad that you have to pretend to be someone else just to support your arguements or what ever it may have been...i mean honestly ppl..come on....anyhoo..this was an amusing write and very good too...good luck in the contest and God Bless
tyler -
Mark strikes again!!!!
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great job there Mark...this is the very reason i keep to myself on here..i rarely talk to anyone on im...so i've never reaaly had this problem apart from one idiot who viciously attacked my work because he lost out to me in a contest....but then little things please little minds...some might say to that..."while bigger fools look on"...my answer to that would be...yea in pity and disgust.....however having said all that you have given me an idea...i have never stalked anyone and they say you should try everything once ..sooooo....can i stalk you Mark...huh?...can i...can i?...pleeeeease...i promise i'll only steal half your undies off the line and i'll be the bestest stalker ever!...huh Mark?...waddya say?
...leanne xxx
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WAY FUNNY!
Now that's funny!!! ("I don't care who ya' are!") I've encountered one or two of these folks too, but in my case (thank Heaven), they were quite harmless, and no damage has been done! This was just too funny! I don't know when I've laughed so hard at anything! "Sybil," indeed!
Edited on Oct 26, 9:19 p.m. because '"stupidity"'. -
This is really funny, Mark, and itis the only one of yours I have read yet. I will be here for a while this evening! (I came because of your comment on someone else's work.)
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Excellently done
Mark, sorry to hear about your cyber-stalker problems. But, I sure enjoyed the poem that sprang from them. I have had similar problems, and must say I abhor such cowardice. It reminds me of the Klan and all their face-hiding ways. But, I am also reminded that such folks are more to be pitied than anything else. Imagine how awful it would be to be so transparent to everyone but yourself....to be so out of touch with who and what you are. Still, one can't allow oneself to be a doormat. So, I'm glad you stood up for yourself. And, true to the poets' unwritten creed, you've used the words well to strike a blow against such emotional tyranny. Kudos to you, my friend.
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ROFLMAO!!! But in sympathy, my Friend... phew!!! Been there, been done that way!!! pats ya on your head Poor ML...hehehe Ya know...I didn't realize this was done...let alone on purpose!!! Until I encountered a couple of 'em...one just recently...some time back, I got a couple of really nasty remarks from a young female...found out since, she's changed her name...but not her attitude!!! She was the inspiration for my poem, 'The Art of Dilpomacy: Critique With Heart'...I don't understand being nasty & mean & rude...let alone the cowardice in hiding behind your other alias!!! Mark, my Learned Friend...
I'm so sorry you've encountered Sybil & her siblings...Poor Baby...but you have taken her on & taken her down with this wonderful write of yours!!! You tell 'er, Honey!!! Woof!!! Grrr... swan/pitbull will come off her chain for ya, Sweetheart...ANYTIME!!! hehehe You have done us all proud, Sir...& I am proud of you, as well as honored to know you, my Friend!!! She must be nasty to have provoked this reaction... You're always such a Gent with da ladies!!! Bravo, my Dear Happy Wanderin' Friend...sustained standing ovation...
Wanda (formerly swaneewanda...also posted on my author page!!!
I ain't hiding!!!)
Accolades & posies, Mark...
Edited on Oct 26, 1:09 p.m. because ''. -
Hey John,
"Buttcracks". lol
I don't think there's anything wrong with creating different screen names, as long as one doesn't pretend that they are different people when arguing. I was thinking, "Man, where are all these people coming from? They all must be members of the same club or something." Only later did I learn that they were all one person pretending she had a lot of support. lol What a kook.
Mark
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Mark, I could not have said it better myself my brother. It seems like you may have had some contact with some of the same buttcracks I have. What a shame it is for someone to have to result to having multiple screen names just to feel like they are more of a person than they really are. I had been toying with creating a screen name just for my rant poems that I just want to get out my frustrations and such with, but I just going to keep the one I have to do just that. Heads are going to be turning in the future, let me tell you.
~ John
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i'm so glad i stopped by i love this one i'm happy to see your eyes are open and that you are taking a stand for yourself WAY TO GO
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Yeah, Sybil endured far more than most of the people on this site, and this includes me, needless to say. I feel quite privileged in knowing who this person is, but then again, I'm sure half the people you know already know who it is too, but oh well. Like everyone else has said, this was incredibly funny, mainly because, in a sense, it was all so true! Very well done.
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Well done, well said. Quite humorously too I might add. As for the comment by Annnastacia made about if the person/s realizing they are a cancer.Well, if you feed it, it grows. I came to this site to learn and grow from fellow poets such as yourself. But (the infamous but) please consider this. We as artists feel deeply, I think more than the average person. We feed off from one another, inspire one another, we encourage one another. I may not like what you have to say, I may not agree with what you have to say. But maybe I need to hear it. If for nothing else but to acknowledge the fact that a person has a different opinion. I will fight for you to have the right to say it. Know this, your opionions can be said without vulgarity and meanspiritedness. It's when these elements are put forth that it becomes obnoxious or a "cancer". When I click on someone's work and see that they are behaving in such a manner,it is then that I use my mouse much like my remote control. I just switch to another channel.Mark, I applaud your work, You are so gifted. Truly gifted. Good luck in the contest. I do like how you use Sybil as a case in point. Thank you for sharing. Read the book, I can't imagine the horror that she lived thru. Unfortunately, the movie can't show everything.~Michelle -
Hehe! That was cute! I enjoyed it, espically the sing-songy rhymes I found myself falling helplessly into. I can't believe you've become a victum! Poor thing. Just beat them up with your poetry!
*chants* Mark Mark Mark Mark
Mindy -
Uh-oh...as a relative newbie to this site I hadn't run across anyone who is quite this caustic. Hope they don't notice me. Good job with the rhymes...smiles.
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I feel for you. I always thought that AP was supportive and caring site. And when people like the one mentioned in your writing here find their way onto this sight, they are worse than a cancer spreading it's malignant tentacles all through the site. The really sad thing about is when someone new to the site happens across the ravings of a MPD and ends up thinking they represent the majority.
I hope the person that this piece was intended for reads it and realizes they are a cancer.
Sorry if what I have said sounds harsh, I just feel very stronly about it.
Anna -
Well this is different from some of your others I have read. This is very funny. It's funny you write this because I was just talking about this with a fellow AP poet and was trying to understand the logic. Leaves you wondering who is leaving you comments I love the write it flowed wonderfully and the rhymes did not seemed forced (that is very hard for me). Thanks for the great laugh....hope these situations are few a far between for you.
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lol glad you spoke your mind.. i actually have the first battle poem i wrote (sitting in word) about someone who actually hurt a lot of people for doing something just like this. (death was involved - well a lie anyway) so i wrote one regarding that.. it's sitting in word because the rest of the people "moved on"... so i feel kinda... bad about posting it.. after it's been "dropped" nah i mean anyhoo.. i wish i could share it.. but *shrugs* i dunno.. good write glad you learned the truth.. it sucks people abuse the internet..
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